"poverty mentality"

Molly41

lostinrates wrote: »

Makes me cry too, primo levi. Should imagine it makes any right minded person weep.

But it also makes me cry to see the impact two generations on.

Whilst there is no comparison to survivors of the holocaust (their experiences were horrific),I know that it is the fear of not having enough (having lived through WWII) that initially drove my parents to save and not spend. My mother also has shelves of tins and packets that are well out of date, (I donated a tin of bacon in brine to Robert Opie Museum as it was from the 1950's). However their actions impacted dreadfully on my childhood as I posted earlier and continue to affect their health and well being and that of their dogs.

katieowl_2

lostinrates wrote: »

I have a very pretty pink and gold bra which the wires keep popping out of depsite several repairs. It had a couple of beautiful dangly sparkly bits from it which are now sewn on dh's christmas stocking, but i still have the embroidered cups.....they must be good for something, and when i find it i will have them, and still having that thing i found beautiful will make me happy. Keeping wearing it while it stabbed me, or without the wires so it didn't do much for me was not working for me!

Ta da....http://www.craftstudios.net/bra_purse.html google is your friend!

Kate

ragz_2

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

I tried to see things from an MSE point of view, and I can imagine people beaming with pride over their mended bra, happy about saving £20. But I can't get into that mindset, I can only feel that I'm too worthless to spend £20 on.

Then I get confused because I want to have nice things but buying new things is bad and wasteful and selfish. And I just get so confused about what the right thing to do is, and I feel terrible if I continue to make do with my old trampy clothes that I'm embarassed to be seen in but I also feel terrible if I waste money on new ones and I just don't know what to do.

I totally get this, my DH took me to a proper bra shop about 6 months ago and I bought 2 decent bras as I only had one that vaguely fit. I really had to force myself to spend that much on myself and I still find it hard now and need reminding that it's ok. But DO IT, you (and your boobs) will feel so much better and you DO deserve it, you really really do.

But I really feel where you are coming from xx

LittleMissAspie

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Buying new things isn't bad and wasteful and selfish.

Why not?

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It's only selfish if you don't need them and can't afford them either. There's nothing wrong with a bit of selfishness now and then. If you're not going to look after yourself and your own interests properly now and then, who will?

No-one will but that's my point - I agree with what the OP's friend said because the more frugal I am the harder it is to think it's okay to spend some money. I will probably end up one of those people living a cold miserable existence with my £1 million in the bank.

lostinrates wrote:

do you have any recreation money in your budget or is it all soaked up already?

I have £106.20 in my clothes savings pot. But can't spend it because I feel like a vain person if I do.

Sometimes I do flip and go on a spending spree, I did that recently but I'm reverting to type now

quintwins

i also keep an eye out for bra's in my size i find littlwoods/very sale to be very good for them (last ones were 2 for £4 i've got this offer twice now), or sometime ann summers do a knicker box offer where they do 2 for £25 (these are usually £20-£30 each so a fab deal) i think good supportive underwear is a must and i would be very uncomfty without it, you wouldn't continue to wear uncomfty jeans everyday if you could afford otherwise so why wouldn't you treat youself to a bra

elona

I was greatly daring and got measured at Bravissima a year ago - found that I was actually two cup sizes up and a chest size down than I had thought. Treated myself to a couple of good bras and then went to a website called brastop that sold the same makes much cheaper.

If anyone is near a Boyes shop (usually in the north of England) they have very good deals on bras etc. I got a Splendour one that should have been £30 - for less than a fiver.

Have decided that decent shoes, coat etc are important but only get stuff in sales etc so I get better quality for money.

Found a Hotter shoes outlet at Castleford a few months ago that had a three for two sale - got sheepskin slippers and two pairs of good shoes for then than the rrp of one pair of shoes.:j

lostinrates

:A

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

Why not?


No-one will but that's my point - I agree with what the OP's friend said because the more frugal I am the harder it is to think it's okay to spend some money. I will probably end up one of those people living a cold miserable existence with my £1 million in the bank.


I have £106.20 in my clothes savings pot. But can't spend it because I feel like a vain person if I do.

Sometimes I do flip and go on a spending spree, I did that recently but I'm reverting to type now

Ok. D you have a partner? Buy a nice bra for him(or her) to see you in. If you do not have a partner buy a nice bra so more likely to attract one!

I am really wary of justifying spending....i stopped using the health and beuaty board a lot becuase of that reason and really feel i can only justify raising the points i have raised in this thread because os ers are the least likely ro interpret that as a justification for running out in retail hedonism but in some instances spending is not wrong.

lostinrates

katieowl wrote: »

Ta da....http://www.craftstudios.net/bra_purse.html google is your friend!

Kate

Ingenious! Thank you,

But tbh, not sure i fancy it much.....for a start, mine would be a weekend case or holdall!

LittleMissAspie

quintwins wrote: »

you wouldn't continue to wear uncomfty jeans everyday if you could afford otherwise

But I do! I don't wear jeans, but I'll continue to wear clothes that are worn out and don't fit me anymore until I go mad. I had a winter coat that was really old and fraying, I was practically in tears at one point because I felt like such a tramp in it but I couldn't bring myself to buy a new one. I finally bought a new one in the autumn but only because it was only £15. My old work shoes somehow split across the bottom, both of them, and I wore them like that for ages even though they embarassed me. I might be facing the same problem soon with my non-work skirt, it's so old it's wearing thin and sort of going see-through. I've been wearing it every weekend for the last 10 years I think. I only have the one because having more than one seems wasteful and vain again.

That's why I was surprised when everyone said they disagree with the "poverty mentality", because it is affecting me. Other people are probably more normal than me though

PennyPinchingPrincess

Oh, LittleMissAspie, please don't think of a good bra as an indulgence, it's a necessity!

Wearing a well fitting bra is so much more comfortable, and it'll give you a good shape, meaning your clothes hang well and look better... so it's a good investment really! The main support should come from the back, not the shoulder straps (if your shoulder straps are doing all the work of supporting you then they will dig in, and that's really not comfortable.) Once the elastic has gone in the back of your bra, it really has reached the end of it's life.

You have the money put aside, so why not use a little of it? You don't need to buy top of the range, super sexy bras (unless you want to ), a couple of basic bras are all you need (wear one, wash one, you don't need a drawer full!) They don't need to be expensive.

You are not vain for providing yourself with basic items of clothing.