Help for seperated fathers?

clearingout

sunnyone wrote: »

Whats wrong with babysitters?

so....again....I'm not entitled to a life post-separation/divorce? I'm not entitled to a night off, a lie in, to eat breakfast in bed with a new partner without children bouncing on us?

Not every one has family willing and able to help out. And I sure as hell can't afford both a babysitter and to go out once every six months. Oh sorry, I'm neglecting my children, aren't I, by actually wanting some kind of adult life? Unbelieveable.

Oldernotwiser

Ralphy101 wrote: »

I was merely after a factual answer and not lecture on whether it is right or wrong to be receiving financial aid... or that Child maintance is taken into account when calculating said age.
t

But the fact that child maintenance isn't taken into a account is both factual and relevant to your enquiry, even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear.

gingergee

t0rt0ise wrote: »

What about all the other things that have to be bought, like washing powder, cleaning stuff, bleach, shampoo, soap, etc etc. People are all so clever at saying how much they spend on food but that isn't what most of the expenditure is about.

Also when people talk about single people they forget that when the children are grown, the woman will also be a single person with no benefits to add to her salary, probably a salary that is reduced from what it might have been had she not had a break in her full time career to look after the children. Swings and roundabouts really.. or that's what I have found.

Op said in his first post £50 on food at least? I just said that I can feed my whole family on that. Including my cleaning products and washing things!! was trying to show that it CAN be done, not rub anyones nose in the fact that I do it? Thought i was being helpful?? Lol x

BigAunty

Ralphy101 wrote: »

Ju...
I;ll get back to making myself comfortable on my sister's sofa after i sort my work shirt out from the bin bag of clothes i am left to live out of.

Is this a hair shirt?

You net £250 a week (after tax and child support) so you can afford your own accommodation.

tawecdl

I have just read through this thread as I am in exactly the same situation.

Ralphy, although things may not look bright now, you are in a much better situation than others. You have your job and a son. Be grateful for that. Is overtime possible at work? this would save your utility costs, (leave your heating / electric off) and earning more money. You may be able to get help from the council from a Rent Deposit Scheme to get you into a property.

Don't let this situation defeat you, use the emotion you have to enhance your future. thrive in your job, aim for progression. Believe me, you will feel better having earned what you have rather that gaining it from the government. Look at the bigger picture.

Ziggazee

Ralphy......it can be done. When I met my partner he had separated from his wife and had moved into rented property with his bring him pay being approximately £250 a month less than you. He was only able to afford a one bedroomed flat and yes, he had to cut back on his outgoings but he did manage.....and managed very well. His two children were able to stay with him, he just slept on the settee on those occasions whilst they took the bedroom.

Good luck )

ANY_CHANCE

midnight_express wrote: »

We get them on here all the time moaning about how are they supposed to manage without benefits when the little money makers
have grown up. The thing is the childfree spend their lives supporting themselves and supporting the breeders and their kids where as those with kids expect to spend their lives subsidised by benefits. A crazy state of affairs in an over populated country and an over populated world.

Who will look after, clean and feed the childfree in their old age? and continue to run society when the child free are past it?

ANY_CHANCE

Can you reduce your maintenance payments if you are to have your son at the weekends? Have you checked if you could be eligible for housing benefit on the calculator the local authority have?
Look at private rentals/word of mouth they may be a better/cheaper option .

heathcote123

Ralphy101 wrote: »

the cut and dry of it was i was hoping that the state look favourable on NRPs that activly pay child support without the need of courts/CSA etc... and perhaps there was some financial aid to help me put things in place to have my child stay over...

the difference between an overnight stay and a day's access is huge.

Good luck, I suspect you'll get !!!!!! all - the system will screw you being the dad, that's how it works.

Forget benefits and cuting back to subsistence levels, and start figuring out how to earn more money. You'll feel much better for it.

BigAunty

ANY_CHANCE wrote: »

Who will look after, clean and feed the childfree in their old age? and continue to run society when the child free are past it?

The child free are most likely to have paid in more taxes and taken less out of the system than those with children.

Remember that until very recently, all two parents were required to do is work 16 hours between them - half the time of a person without dependents, and 212,000 households with 2 adults chose for one of them to work just part time! This caused a great deal of resentment from households who worked harder.

However, you make a good point - there will be resource issues for elder care going forward and this is why it is not affordable for the state to pay duplicate benefits to separated parents and why it should only go to the parent with primary care.