Am I worrying unnecessarily ?

Unorganized

do_it_today! wrote: »

thank you I feel abit more reassured....

Still struggling on with the phone lol but I should say it's nothing to worry about.

My lo was very quiet coming home one afternoon last week, very unusual behaviour! Anyway after some gentle coaxing it emerged she was upset as she'd been told off. I asked about it at nursery the next morning, because I couldn't get to the bottom of what she'd been told off for, and I thought she had maybe been rough as she can be rough at times, turns out there were several of them running around and the teacher called to them to stop running. My lo's made a mountain out of a molehill and it's all drama! The following day she lay down in a puddle 'to get clean' and didn't want to come home! Children are odd lol

meritaten

hun - I listen to my instincts - what are yours telling you?
What is your child telling you - I wouldnt lead him in any way, but ask gently why he didnt want to go. ask if so and so is nice to him - work your way around the staff then bring in this persons name and watch his reaction. in fact watch his reaction to the names of ALL the staff!
ask if the other children are nice - it could be a prob with another child.
or it could be he is missing you!
dont assume its the male member of staff. He may be the best one there!

bigmomma051204

do_it_today! wrote: »

I just did a long post and lost it so just to summarise thank you for your responses I recognise that My sensitivity could be completely unfounded and irrational which is why I'm sounding them out here in the safety of mse. And also to check whether my ds response is normal which it sounds like it is...
I remember the VG case which makes me EVEN MORE NERVOUS as I cannot trust anyone! I do recognise its a good opportunity for my ds to have as many Good male role models as possible (However perpetrators how ARE caught are more likely to be male). I want to see if I can volunteer to get to know the staff better and am not about to start making wild accusations. Yet at the same time I am entitleed to explore the situation and feelings that come up for me.

Thanks for giving me some perspective.

So you can "vet" them you mean..... oh dear! Poor staff.. if only they knew that the lady they think wants to volunteer out of the goodness of her heart ACTUALLY just wants to watch them and see if she thinks they might be abusers! Which of course, one can tell from being with someone for an hour or two a week...... i mean, all the families of abusers KNOW whats going on really.......yes?

Just accept that it is VERY normal for a young child to want to go to setting some days, and not on other days. Just like sometimes, they love petit filous yoghurts... cant get enough. But then 2 weeks later, they hate them and refuse to eat them. :cool:

Teenie_D

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

So you can "vet" them you mean..... oh dear! Poor staff.. if only they knew that the lady they think wants to volunteer out of the goodness of her heart ACTUALLY just wants to watch them and see if she thinks they might be abusers! Which of course, one can tell from being with someone for an hour or two a week

Exactly what I was thinking.

Anyway surely it wouldn't be that easy for you to just all of a sudden want to volunteer, surely YOU would have to be vetted?? (I don't know that for definate but imagine that would be the case?).

do_it_today!

Teenie_D wrote: »

I have seen this many times with different chidren in the 2 years my dd has been going to nursery, some will go months and then all of a sudden they don't want to go in for one reason or another. Is this the first time that you have left your DS for any length of time? It could be that he is realising that you are leaving him there for those couple of hours and he panics? Is he ok once he goes in?

As for the male worker comment I actually find it really sad. One of the nursery assistants in my DD's class is male and he is fantastic with all the kids, he does make an effort to speak to them, I would be worried if he ignored them tbh! I think it is great that he is there, especially for some of the children who maybe don't have a father figure around and really admire him for it. I am stunned that you would consider another nursery just because there is a male assistant there, don't quite get that at all. Would you feel the same about a male primary teacher?

Hi
this is not a first he has been left many times before, but I don't usually drop him off on a Monday.
The pg was not our first choice and if I felt there could be an issue of my child's safety I would change settings.

Atm I dont have a warranted concern, but my ds behaviour made me question that this morning, my dc safety and well being is my first concern;

Once again thanks everyone this is my last response.

Lunar_Eclipse

do_it_today! wrote: »

Also there is a male carer there who always goes out of his way to say hello to him and the limited times I have seen him he has boys on his lap. QUOTE]


After 3 weeks, the novelty could have worn off and sadly, children do not feel like going to nursery sometimes. Having said that, you are right to keep an eye on things. Talk to your son and see what he says. Perhaps he's suffering separation anxiety if he is now spending a lot less time with you than he was before starting nursery.

I'm not sure what you mean by the above comment though. Do you think it's inappropriate for staff to have children on their laps? Or is it just men and boys? Or male carers altogether? All sound perfectly normal when you consider the environment (a nursery offering childcare) and ages of the children. Anyone who works in an environment caring for young children should really enjoy doing so, which does/should include appropriate physical contact. Perhaps I have misunderstood your insinuation.

lindseykim13

If you don't want him to go to nursery don't send him-it's not compulsary. Nor is school for that matter, if you feel you don't trust anyone else to look after him then stick with your instincts.

bigmomma051204

lindseykim13 wrote: »

If you don't want him to go to nursery don't send him-it's not compulsary. Nor is school for that matter, if you feel you don't trust anyone else to look after him then stick with your instincts.

Gosh. What excellent social skills this child will develop.... never allowed out without a parent. And what a healthy environment... what a way to incidentally teach your child to be scared of what lies outside the four walls of his home!

I really hope you are joking!!

pandora205

I think this young man has just passed the honeymoon period when he's enjoyed exploring the new environment and realised this isn't a treat, it's for the long term. Blips of this kind are par for the course: any child who doesn't want to stay at home at least sometimes isn't that strongly attached: most would prefer to be with their parent/s, if not at this age then certainly later.

The best approach is to remain calm and continue to take the child to preschool. Handover to the staff confident that they are used to dealing with tearful children and don't prolong the departure. If you need to telephone an hour later to see if he is okay. He will most likely get through this time very quickly.

It is extremely unlikely that the reaction is a sign of something more sinister you would expect other signs. It's unfair to suspect this as a cause just because a practitioner is male.

suki1001

Poor bloke. I would have thought any potential abuser would be hiding behaviour around parents. e.g.you wouldn't know until the police knocked on your door. My thoughts are that the children are comfortable to sit on his knee, having helped out a few times in a schoo and playgroup as a parent helper, I've felt uncomfortable when a child I don't know comes up and gives me a hug and there's always a few that want to sit on your knee, because I wasn't crb checked. Children are physically affectionate. Also, it's perfectly normal for a child to love playgroup or school and then after a couple of weeks decide it's not for them when they realise they have to go there regularly.

Both my little darlings tried that one on me. chances are he'll be back to his old self in a week or two. If there wasn't a man there he would still be doing the same thing, except you wouldn't be worrying if there was abuser causing it.