Shoud SAHMs be paid?

Paula_anne

All/most children get funded to go to nursery/playschool once they're 3 yrs old, i work a few hours in the evening once my hubby gets home, tho i did stay at home for a year whilst they were babies, work is so flexible these days, eg evenings weekends, its hard cos i don't see my kids to bed but they know i have to work if they want nice things, it also teaches them that working is important.

skysky69

I don't necessarily think that we should be paid to stay at home because it was our choice to have children but I do think that people who are in a relationship should possibly get more help with childcare if they want to go back to work. I would be far better off if I were to kick my husband out and be a single parent. As it stands, I only actually take home cash about £150.00per month after I have paid tax and NI and then the childcare. I actually tried to work more hours and the more I worked the more I got taxed and the childminder took half, I was only getting about 30% of my wages and then there is the fuel to get to the childminder, then to work. You have to pay the childminder if your child is ever sick, you have a holiday, she has a holiday, bank holidays. And then there is the fact that they are not allowed to do this and not allowed to do that, I personally do not let my child get away with murder and tantrums etc but the childminder wouldn't even tell her off! I was getting home at 6.30, Abigail was going to bed at 7.30 so I was having an hour a day - not worth it for £150.00 per month!

If I could get more help with childcare, I would possibly consider going back to work but as it stands, we get hardly anything because we are together and my husband grafts really hard to get a half decent wage.

moggins

lebly wrote:

Sounds like another easy way to discourage cares of hildren from getting off their backsides and getting a job when the children go to school. Sorry if that offends!

You're not sorry if it offends at all! You wouldn't have said that if you were.

If you can explain how I am supposed to find a job that fits around two children (one with ASD) and a husband who works shifts on a rota system, has a boss that doesn't care how many days I have to take off when the school decides to close for whatever reason or when my children are sick and will also mean that my family are better off financially then yes I will get off my backside and go to work.

Yes I chose to have my children but why should a parent who chose to go to work get extra money to have their children looked after when those who feel they could do a better job by looking after those children themselves get penalised financially? Perhaps it's time not to reward the stay at home parents but not to reward the parents who choose to work either by paying their nursery fees.

For gods sake when did it suddenly become more fashionable to farm your kids out to childcare facilities than look after them yourself. And I know it's going to be unpopular but if you feel you have to work for your own satisfaction and not the money and couldn't bear to stay at home with your children all day then you shouldn't be having those children in the first place!

nearlyrich

skysky69 wrote:

I would be far better off if I were to kick my husband out and be a single parent

But maybe only financially, don't underestimate the problems associated with bringing up a child or children alone. You have someone to pass the responsibility onto even just for a few hours and someone to discuss the problems of parenting with.;)

Paula_anne

i actually get on better with my children and husband since i have been working as i have my own little bit of life where i am paula and not just a mum, i don't think the op meant to offend, it's just their opinion. it b1oody hard having kids, we all have the same probs sometime or another with the possibility of kids being sick or school closes, paying the nursery fees is a way to encourage mums to go out to work, its freedom of choice.

snoozer

I don't see that there was anything offensive in my original post, it was just a question.

To give some background - I have two grown up children and I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home when they were pre-school. It was a struggle but I did a few stints of evening work etc to keep going. TBH DH commuted and was out (and still is) for over 12 hours per day and we don't live near family so it would have been harder for me to work than stay at home. When DS started school I got a part time job term time only until he was about 15 so things worked out well for me.

However, I do think it's much more difficult for young mothers to make that choice nowadays. The cost of housing is so much more that most have to return to work. I think Moggins idea of giving all mothers a payment for childcare with the option to pay someone else to look after the children or to keep it for yourself is a good one.

moggins

I know I probably shouldn't have taken the bait like I did, but this morning I am not feeling very well, I still have to drive DS to the doctors, cook a special valentines day dinner for DH, do the school run for DD etc etc. I also look after my elderly parents. I've even had to cancel the appointment for my breast reconstruction because I just can't find the time to get to Bristol.

The insinuation that I sit on my fat a*se all day really made me see red. I'm only on here at the moment because I am feeling too sick and dizzy to stand up straight but I still have to get in the car and drive in 30 minutes because there is no one else who can do these things for me.

Essex-girl_2

I am very lucky in that I run my own business from home. This week I have been working a couple of hours in the day & making it up in the evening.

My sister is a single parent and has a small pj job and earns enough to live on from tax credits and a small housing benefit payment. Her problem is that she wants to better herself and work more hours but she would actually be worse off financially so what is the point, she would need to find a job earning nearly £25k to be better off.

Today it has been reported that children in England are the unhappiest in the world - I think this is related to our lifestyle in general. Dont know about other European Countries but I know Frances pays sahm's, the countries that came out top were North European and I know places like Scandinavia spend a lot of money on good childcare.

I myself am changing, I thought I needed a big house and a new car, now Ive got them I see that it doesnt make you happy (easy for me to say I know) what is important to us know is our family time - we are now quite an outdoor family but find it hard at the moment to enjoy outdoor pursuits due to the weather. My daughter & I would love a horse as we love horseriding but I cant justify the cost. We are lucky in that we live in a rural area and can enjoy ourselves without spending so much money. But life for familes in towns and cities is expensive.

Sorry to ramble on and go off topic but basically I think in England we think we need to spend money to enjoy life and therefore we have to earn more money. SAHM's I think are doing a really important job and if you can be paid to stay at home with children then I say yes.

Horasio

It is the hardest job, there is no retirement or time off.

There was a study and to pay someone to do the duties of a SAHM is around £70K per annum.

pinkpie

This is a really interesting thread.

I don't think that paying SAHMs is the right thing but why not let the other halves have our personal tax allowance - that way both our hard work is still rewarded.

It's interesting that so many working Mums resent the idea of their tax rising to fund SAHM's yet are happy to have the gov pay towards their childcare - surely SAHM partner's are paying more tax for that?

I also think far more people ( not on here, in general) need to not feel bad about whatever choice they make.

I know lots of people who say they need to work for financial reasons but actually don't - they just aren't prepared to cut back or put in the long hard slog that is being a SAHM. I have absolutely no problem with that - being a SAHM is definitely not how you ever thought it would be (but then again personally I wouldn't have missed it).

Anyone who is one knows that all Mums work hard!