Shoud SAHMs be paid?

Pinklepurr

Wow, what an interesting debate!

I've been a SAHM for 8 years, but during that time I have been self-employed doing a variety of things and would fit what I did around the children. It WAS a lifestyle choice and financially it wasn't easy to begin with, but it's got easier over the years. My mother stayed at home to raise me and I wanted to do the same for my children.

I DON'T feel I should get paid, but I do feel my DH should get some sort of tax allowance. There is nothing to encourage couples to marry and have a family, to stick together and to raise them. Married persons allowance was scrapped many years ago, divorce is all to easy. The only benefit we receive is Child Benefit of £116 pm, our income exceeds the maximum for Child Tax Credit and the shocking amount he pays in tax each year goes to fund those who cannot/will not support their own families (amongst other things of course).

PP

Spendless

moggins wrote:

I could claim DLA for him but because of his problems we are so isolated that no one knows him well enough to help with the application plus we manage well enough without it.

all I am seeing in job adverts (yes I have looked) are the wonderful words "must be flexible". It's never about them being flexible to us.

moggins have you considered asking DIAL (disability information advice line) to fill in the DLA forms. They were extremely helpful for my friend. I know you also say "we manage well enough without it" but yas your son gets older you may find the extra money helpful for him. I'd at least try,and if you get turned down, you aren't in any worse a position than you currently are.

"Must be flexible" notices on p/t jobs drive me insane.:mad: I have often felt like scrawling on one, if I could be flexible I wouldn't be looking for part time work-lol

I'd actually like it if my husband could use my tax allowance. We are taxed a lot on his company car, so have a lower net income but for tax credits we have to add on the amount of this benefit. Last year I had to report a figure £7K higher than what his salary is. Looking on a calculator I found our net income was the equivalent of someone on £5k less, so we are living on £12k less than is reported for tax credits. Letting hubby have my tax allowance would take him out of the negative tax bracket and help us a bit.

Last year DD nursery fees were funded by her turning 3 and using childcare vouchers. I went to college whilst she was there, but it would have been same if I'd stopped at home so if that was being funded for me, why not me able to give hubby my tax allowance instead.

sahmx5

Pinklepurr wrote:

Wow, what an interesting debate!


I DON'T feel I should get paid, but I do feel my DH should get some sort of tax allowance. There is nothing to encourage couples to marry and have a family, to stick together and to raise them. Married persons allowance was scrapped many years ago, divorce is all to easy. The only benefit we receive is Child Benefit of £116 pm, our income exceeds the maximum for Child Tax Credit and the shocking amount he pays in tax each year goes to fund those who cannot/will not support their own families (amongst other things of course).

PP

Well said PP,

my situation is very much the same as yours. I have recently had my 5th baby and am secretly delighted that it would cost too much in childcare to go back to work this time. I am now a happy sahm and it's taken me 14 years to get here. My older children used to tell me they missed me when I was pregnant and working. Now we just miss my salary - I wish DH could have my unused tax allowance.

FrankieM

I'm a SAHM of 4 children. Ranging in age from 12 to 8.
All at school full time.
We are in the lucky position that my husband earns a very good wage, but then he has worked hard to get to that position so that I don't have to go back to work.
Likme others it would be nice if my DH got my tax allowance. I hate the fact that if we both earned £25k a year we would actually bring in more money per month, but because my husband works hard so I can stay at home for the benefit of our family, it seems we are penalised.

We felt that being at home was much more stabilising and positive for our children and our family unit, not to mention our marriage.

rainbowrisin

Should SAHM / D be paid? No, I don't think so. I don't think the government could afford my rates TBH!:D

I'm a SAHM who works round the littlies. I think I've got the most important, challenging and fulfilling job in the world - bringing up my children.

It is hard financially. To be pre-dominantly a SAHM I've had to change how I work significantly, take on lower-paid work and manage on a budget which a few years back I would have spent in a week.

I think it's worth it though. Some things are too important and valuable to have a price tag put on them - I think bringing up my littlies is one such thing.

Janepig

What is this "childcare allowance" that I keep reading about that working mothers are apparently getting and I somehow seem to be missing out on? None of my working mother colleagues appear to be getting this either. Wish I was.

Also it seems some of the SAHM's who've posted on here have said that there is little respect/status for their role. I would argue that it's working mothers who seem to get the bad press. I'm constantly hearing about how working mothers are cruelly dumping their children in childcare, being paid this fantastic childcare allowance, and of course what do we want children for if we can't be bothered to look after them, and that working whilst using paid childcare seems to be the "fashion" at the moment.
And then there's the favoured job title of the SAHM - "full time mum" :mad::mad: !!!!!! am I then? Do I stop being a mother when I leave the house three days a week to go to work? When the school/nursery ring to say DS or DD are ill and need fetching do I say "ah, sorry, I'm not being a mum at the moment, I'll be able to deal with this after 5pm"!!!!!!

Oh and another thing, I work harder and better than 99% of my childless colleagues.

Jxx

rosy

Janepig, I posted earlier ( a SAHM with little status ) - and your post says it all to me, we women ( I know there are men in the SAHD position but it's still much more often women ) just can't win. We feel damned if we do, and damned if we don't, work. Maybe we should all give ourselves a break and a huge pat on the back for whatever we choose to do ( and I need to do that myself a lot more often).

Janepig

rosy wrote:

Janepig, I posted earlier ( a SAHM with little status ) - and your post says it all to me, we women ( I know there are men in the SAHD position but it's still much more often women ) just can't win. We feel damned if we do, and damned if we don't, work. Maybe we should all give ourselves a break and a huge pat on the back for whatever we choose to do ( and I need to do that myself a lot more often).

You're so right - peace and love to all mums - Married/Single/SAH/Working (just not full-time - we're all that!!!!!)

Jxx

LondonDiva

As lots of posters have said, why? for what amounts to a 'lifestyle choice?':(

jezebel

LondonDiva wrote:

As lots of posters have said, why? for what amounts to a 'lifestyle choice?':(

I hope that this "lifestyle choice" doesn't go out of fashion or we're all doomed!!!