No T Words mentioned at all - a fresh start

monnagran

No, Lyn, you did not do wrong in bringing up your girls to be upright and honest. It is what we all aspire to do if we have an ounce of decency in us - and you have several tons of the stuff.
What we cannot do is to expect the same high moral standards from others, even those people who should be above reproach.
I have always tried not to let other people's behaviour dictate my own. It's not easy.

Nell is obviously a very special person, and as such she will be either appreciated and rewarded or appreciated and used. This is a problem for others, not her. She will be the same lovely person and only answerable to herself, and with a clear conscience to boot, always knowing that she did the right thing.

Shakespeare, as always, nailed it when he said, "Above all, to thine own self be true."

It's so hard to do all that and still be kicked in the teeth, isn't it?

Thank goodness for places like this where we can come and lick our wounds and be patted on the back and comforted. Polly and Lainey are so very right, you are all wonderful.

x

[Deleted User]

Thanks MONNA she's a good person alright, I think what has caused her most angst was twice being actively pushed into applying for jobs, not just encouraged but actually asked to apply and all to no avail. Disillusion is a difficult emotion to come to terms with and the feeling that people who have been, it would appear, running their own agenda have used her with no intention of actually giving her the position and are now saying it's because of the position that they have not only put her in which has broken her health but despite being asked many, many times have, not a single one of them, done anything to alleviate the problem or find a solution. She's understandably very displeased with the senior management team all round. I'll do all the support she needs and see her through the other side of this but as her Mum who loves her very, very much, it hurts me to feel her pain!

monnagran

Lyn, it's the injustice that gets you, isn't it? There is no answer to that I'm afraid. The world is, and always has been an unjust place. .Not that it helps to know that but always trying to do the right thing, and not only the right thing but the good thing, doesn't, unfortunately, mean that you won't be used and abused for it. it's a horrible lesson to have to learn. You will help Nell get through this, hopefully without changing her lovely, generous nature, and we will stand right with you cheering you both on.
Hugs to you all.

x

pollyanna_26

Lyn We all seem to be in agreement here . Upright and honest are part of the foundations of a kind and caring society . The workplace nowadays can be such a cold , target driven and box ticking environment . I know teachers who pray for retirement on health grounds as they are worn down and spend less time teaching than coping with the paperwork and ever changing guidelines . It's miles from my schools work in the late 80s into the 90s .
Somewhere out there will be the right fit for Nell . Not yet but when she's licked her wounds she may examine where that may lie .
Not a hasty decision for a recent home buyer but worth a think .

On a different subject I know what the problem is with the not secure site I have been getting logging in . It has sent my posts into the ether so many times .
I finally thought to look on the site feedback thread earlier and MSE Andrea had posted on 1st Feb about the problem .
I was unaware but the forum is not secure as it doesn't run on HTTPS - lacks the S for secure . Google have highlighted this so the browser shows a padlock with a red line though when I'm on the forum . It affects Firefox and at least 1 other browser .
Andrea said they are working on it but that was nearly 2 months ago so we'll see.
Maybe they'll fix the clock first
polly x

fuddle

Congratulations Hoglet. Humpf to others' negativity. What is it that you're going to be doing if I may be so nosey?

Lyn, I have just caught up. I am so sorry that this has happened to Nell again. Nell's SMT appear to be either of the 'wide boy/girl' ethos or of the ilk that get to the top by trampling. This much is apparent from their behaviour. I wonder if Nell didn't get the role because she would be too busy to pick up the slack and if so I am appalled at the encouragement to actively try again. Us human's can only brush off so much. I feel the injustice and I feel the hurt but we must use this as a character building exercise for our own gain and I think that maybe a few things are beginning to dawn on Nell.

A person's conscientiousness (help with my spelling and is it even a word?!) should never be abused because if it is I think there is a fine line between bitterness and anger... both are counter productive. Silly, silly SMT and actually really quite unprofessional to not to be able to supply Nell feedback on why she wasn't successful. I know Nell works in a damn good school Lyn, but quite honestly I feel their behaviour no better than a poor attempt at middle management!

[Deleted User]

She's OK FUDS, miffed, no doubt of that but rebellious rather than resentful! She's going to make sure they accept that she puts down activities and D of E entirely as of the last day of the summer term, she's NOT going to step up to the plate and do all the things that get left as she has in the past, she's NOT going to placate angry parents because someone else has upset them/their child and she's NOT any longer going to attend every single event in the evening or at weekends because she's all out of loyalty to a school that values her and all she does this little. What she IS going to do is get as much time back for herself as she can and have some fun and enjoy a social life and her family and have more time entirely with the nephews, GOOD GIRL!!! (I know she'll read this!).

Sea Scouts Jumble sale this morning produced some VERY lovely things
1) Early Learning Centre Airport and all the trimmings for £5, made of wood and gorgeous.

2) Many books including one on starting school and Roald Dahls The Enormous Crocodile and some nice 'Dog and Friends' board books for Orley.

3) A stacking teapot and cup set for me to make my herb teas in, very pretty with blue hydrangeas on it.

4) Some bunnies for Ezras Christmas stocking and also a brand new Usborne sticker book 'The Christmas Market'.

5) A white porcelain vase embossed with daisies.

6) A stoneware Beer Stein with a pewter lid for He Who Knows.

7) 2 x mesh plate covers to keep insects off when we eat in the garden in the summer.

8) A stocking present for Nell, not saying what as she'll have to wait to Christmas to find out.

A very successful haul!!!

pollyanna_26

Well done to Nell . I hoped she'd reach that decision .
Good haul at the jumble .
SSH I'm not really here , I'm sorting books to donate to other homes , sob , sob !
Hope all are having a good day .
polly x

candlelight_2013

Good for Nell, they will realise how much she does for the school.

Well done Lyn, you seem to have found some treasures this morning.

We had to go to B&Q twice today for wood bark for the garden. Because neither of us can lift the big bags we had to get 5 at a time, but that is now laid and looks great. I laid the weed suppresent membrane over the last couple of days, with weather permitting and put the pegs in and then used a mallet to push them right into the ground. I have some pansies to put in the side border tomorrow all being well.

Have a good weekend all

Much love

Candlelightx

LaineyT

Good for Nell Lyn, like others I hope that they realise the damage that has been done and perhaps learn from it.
Am currently enjoying a quiet, peaceful house as Capt S has gone out to watch the lads play football. They were both here for lunch earlier so I made a big dish of spicy chicken enchiladas with coleslaw and salad, together with cheesy bread from the village shop. Apart from the end crust the whole lot was demolished together with several pieces of flapjack. As my Grandma used to say rather keep them for a week than a month! but I love having them with us really.
It's been a busy old week with lots of visits and catching up with people, on Thursday I met a friend for an afternoon cuppa and spent a lovely couple of hours putting the world to rights. She is going through such worrying times with a poorly hubbie and the corresponding money problems. We first met several years back when we had our horses at the same yard, Bill and her mare were best of friends so there was a few tears shed over his loss and of course I talked through Mum's last weeks so more tears. I make it sound like a gloomy meet up when actually we both said when parting how much good it had done us. Am finding that although I have a cry most days still they are starting to feel more like gentle, healing tears than painful ones.I know that I will never, ever stop missing my Mum but also know that the last thing she would want is for my life to be permanently miserable. Can just imagine her with hands on hips, giving me what we used to call a double teapot on that one

Your efforts in your garden puts me to shame Candlelight, must stir myself and get my pansies planted out, have a good weekend all x

fuddle

Well they say that what doesn't break us makes us stronger don't they? There's a strength in what Nell has decided to do (hello Nell ) and I know I would do exactly the same. There is no worse feeling than being lead up the garden path and although I am in awe of what Nell has acheived being the same age as moi, I also know that there's a richness to be found outside of work life too. Shame on the person who showed such crass management skills but actually, in that lack of intelligence and sensitivity, he's opened up more doors to Nell than the position ever could have, just in a different way. The best bit is that head has no idea what he has released.

Guess what? My DH left at 5.30am to go fishing He hasn't fished in such a long time so this is a momentous day. He's in a competion and knows he will lack the skill to win, which will be annoying for him, but he has to start again somewhere and he needs fishing in his life.

candlelight I too have had a wander around the garden centres and I am shocked at the prices. I have all these wonderful ideas and then tot up the cost and then stand down those ideas. Actually I still have to dig out 3/4 of my borders so need to do some graft first.

Lainey you're getting there. A gentle hug to you because it's difficult to comprehend that something so personal, so emotional can be a 'process' that has text books written about it but we're suited and booted to survive this life and psychological processing is one of our tools. For me I'm calm and thankful. The tears are silent, are less frequent and don't last very long and I think that will be it for the forseeable. I just wonder what if now and think the whole mess was such a shame. A shame. Such a mediocre word for such pain but I'm thankfull I'm not angry and I hope your feelings of what you went through, in your hurtful situation, can also be downgraded in this crass sounding protective, repairing process. Much love.

I have had my sewing machine out. I have made two cushion covers for my caravan. We're off 40 mins down the road in her next weekend and I'm looking forward to it. It will be the first trip in her (fingers crossed while touching some wood!) that I won't be ill or recovering.

My spuggies got me a lampshade making kit for mothers day so I need to source some fabric. It's going on my landing. Everything is quite boring in my house (my choice, my style) so I fancy something a bit different but I know I'll be drawn to ordinary when the time comes. :rotfl:

My kitchen is booked to be installed week beginning 17th April. I'm in a bit of a pickle with it the way it is so I'm looking so forward to having extra storage that enables me to get my OCD storage and organisation issues back. We have a myriad of half finished jobs in the house which are annoying us now but we kind of need a rest too. We've also decided not to refit the bathroom. The suite that is in is solid and we figured we'd be pulling decent out to put new possibly plastic in. I'm to get storage units, fix the walls, repaint, regrout, new flooring and blind then that is done. It feels good to make do and after all the terrible bathrooms I've rented I'm sure I can cope

Well i'd best get moving.