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What Would You Do?
tesuhoha
Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best
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Oh my, your poor son!
I suppose it would be best to try and waut until your son is out of the room (to soare his feelings/ not cause a drama) and then mention to the supposed 'friend' that you've seen some comments on fb that you really dont appreciate!
The man (if we can call him that) will hopefully be so embarrassed he will think twice about his actions!
What an utterly horrible thing to do!First home- Oct’16 until June’21: £170.995- Overpayments made £13,784 (25% extra!).
New forever home- Sep’21 £309,449 @ 2.05%. Plan to clear it before 30 years!!!!!!0 -
If these are your sons 'friends' on facebook your son will also be able to access all these comments too, surely.
Maybe have a word with him later.
And no, your son is 22, you were spying, which is why you accessed his friends page.
What other excuse could you possibly have had, now be honest.
Maybe he needs to reset his privacy settings too.make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
and we will never, ever return.0 -
You should get him to read the comments himself. It may not be anything serious and from personal experience I know things can get taken out of context on Facebook. Obviously I haven't seen the comments but they may not be as malignant as you think. Me and my friends say some pretty silly things on Facebook about each other which are blatantly untrue and are just a harmless form of teasing that as adults we can deal with. Have your son read them himself and see how he reacts, you will know if he is upset about the comments and if so you can speak to him about what to do next.0
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It was public so who cares how/why she's seen it. Thee are privacy settings for a reason and they chose not to use them.
tesuhoha I really feel for you and your son. Being bullied is hideous enough, and made even worse when its done by your supposed friends. I don't think it matters whether he was 8 or 28 you're still his mother, still bound to care about him and what he's going through. I think you should mention it to him because chances are he knows about it and he might want to talk about it. Eugh and the twofaced cheek of the guy who's been doing it. That's just unacceptable
Good luck. Please come back with an update.0 -
He will have already read them, when a 'friend' makes any sort of posting, all the other 'friends' are notified.
So unless you are prepared to have your son accuse you of snooping, I would say absolutely nothing.make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
and we will never, ever return.0 -
how awful for your son!!
do you think he has an idea of what these 'friend's say about him? could it be possible it is an 'in' joke that he takes part in and teases the others in a similar manner?
if it was me i would be honest with my son and tell him i was snooping and came across it. he has a right to be angry with you but i personally would want to know if so called friends were being nasty like that about me, especially so publicly were other people could see me being made a fool of. i am 25 so a similar age to your son and i would want to know. i would forgive my mother snooping far more easily than what these 'friends' appear to have being doing. at least if you make him aware of what you know then he can decide if it is just banter or something he isn't happy with. i couldn't keep that knowledge from my child, adult or not."it's better than a poke in the eye with a pointy stick" - my dad, regularly throughout my childhood when I complained about something being too small/not perfect/not tasty/not what I wanted. he was right every time.
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He will have already read them, when a 'friend' makes any sort of posting, all the other 'friends' are notified.
So unless you are prepared to have your son accuse you of snooping, I would say absolutely nothing.
The 'friend' that made the initial wall post could have specifically blocked the OP's son from seeing it. As far as I understand it, this will also block all resulting comments on the post from the OP's son as well.
Bottom right of the wall post (just after the location) there should be a little icon saying if they have customised who can view the post. Hover your mouse over the icon and it should tell you - it won't say if it's specifically been blocked off from your son but it will say if it's been 'customised' so to speak.0 -
..........................................................................The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0
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.......................................................................................................The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0
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Speak to your son. You sound very concerned. Do not contact anyone about it until you have spoken to him. I'm 23 years old and would be very upset if my mother went behind my back about something like this. I would feel as though my friends would think I needed my mum to stick up for me which could be very upsetting for your son if these men are bullying him. Find out how he feels about it and support him to get to the root of this but please do not take matters into your own hands. He may know that these people are saying nasty things about him and may feel embarrassed, you taking it into your own hands would only make him feel worse.0
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