how to control son's disruptive behaviour

Gingham_R

pineapple wrote: »

It sounds to me like your child is hyperactive (it's not necessarily the same as ADHD but that's what we used to call it before ADHD came along).
Maybe this diet advice will help
http://www.netmums.com/family-food/healthy-eating/food-activists/from-hyper-to-calm-in-4-food-steps
And this
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=235

Hyperactivity is one component of ADHD. Some kids with ADHD have the hyperactive/impulsive subtype, others have the inattentive subtype and some are combined (have both.)

ADHD isn't a new problem. It's a very old one. And it doesn't always go away in adulthood.

Speaking as an ADHD (and dyspraxia) sufferer personally.

sneezyboots

Please be very careful listening to too many of the replies you have had on here. I teach yr 5 and have a boy who sounds exactly like you son in my class. I think he is brilliant

Yes, he quite often speaks out when he isn't meant too but with some very careful behaviour management he has slowly come round. Sometimes I let him get away with it because I know he is not doing it intentionally but most of the time I can see/ tell from what we are doing that he is going to try and answer my question before I have barely finished asking it so I choose him before he has the chance. He has also had his fair share of punishments this year as well as rewards to curb his calling out. I have had one on one chats with him too to make sure he recognises what he is doing and the affect that then has on the other children and their learning.

He most certainly does not have ADHD, nor is he 'too bright' and bored. He is perfectly average, just likes you to know what he is thinking and that he knows the answer (which isn't always right!)

I can see him on stage in future doing comedy as I also believe part of his talking out is to amuse his peers (and myself) as he comes up with some great one liners and I certainly don't want to stifle his personality.

Anyway, the point is that people on here are very quick to label (ADHD, genius, whatever!). It might just be his personality and better behaviour management by his scout leader is needed to develop a better understanding between them both.

HTH

Padz_2

mrcow wrote: »

Perhaps because they do things like archery, shooting and starting fires - you have to listen to instructions. If anyone doesn't, it's a health and safety hazard waiting to happen. Why should everyone else miss out because one child won't behave?

Ref the corner thing - it's probably a "time out" strategy. Most teachers use them. What do you do with kids that are persistently disrupting your lessons?

They aren't in school when he's being asked to stand in the corner - they are at an after school activity. We don't know that other kids are missing out.

I'll answer your question about what I do if you can show how it is in any way relevant to the OP and her son. But things have moved on in schools since Victorian times.

Don't cub leaders do risk assessments for activities like lighting fires?

When we do risk assessments for trip and the like the type of child who may be a danger (not saying your son is a danger OP) has his or her own section!

Gingham_R

sneezyboots wrote: »

Anyway, the point is that people on here are very quick to label (ADHD, genius, whatever!). It might just be his personality and better behaviour management by his scout leader is needed to develop a better understanding between them both.

HTH

We can't label a child we've never met and no-one can label a child without being suitably trained (as an educational psychologist) etc. What we can do is offer suggestions worth looking at.

GlasweJen

In my brownie group girls who are disruptive just don't get to take part. It sounds extreme but if we're making s'mores for example we need to have 2 candles lit on 4 tables (1 for each 6). If a brownie hasn't listened to the rules behind the use of the candles then she's not safe to take part. I've only got an hour a week and if someone doesn't want to follow the rules then they don't have to come.

If someone has been left out of an activity (and I do give warnings first, I don't just ban chatters outright) I'll take their parent aside at the end and tell them what's happened. Some will work with me and eventually we have a brownie who gets that sometimes talking isn't appropriate so shuts up when my hand goes up. Other times the girl will just keep disrupting. Our pack has a 3 week rule, if a girl doesn't pitch up 3 weeks in a row with no communication then she automatically loses her place. We've extended this to if a brownie doesn't participate properly 3 weeks in a row she gets a red card and has 3 weeks to improve or she loses her place.

I have a waiting list of 40+ kids wanting to be a brownie and we're all volunteers. It's not fair to expect us to spend the whole night policing bad behaviour when we have a list of kids who call every week desperate to take part properly.

That being said we do have a few brownies with diagnosed medical conditions and as long as they try and stick to a few ground rules then their place is safe.

meritaten

Have you considered that he may be hyperactive Mutley? many of these kids display very similar traits to your sons. It may be worth getting that checked out. also some kids are sensitive to certain foods and perhaps some might be responsible for the restless behaviours. you can google this and see if it sounds familiar to you - removing additives, colourings etc from your childs diet is something that PARENTS can do and it certainly does NO HARM!

Gingham_R

What you'll find with hyperactivity caused by artificial food colouring is a spike in inability to settle fairly soon after taking the problem food. If the child had sweets before school for example, it would have worn off by the end of the day. If he took it at lunch time, he'd be fine in the morning. If it's all the time, unless he's eating something damaging several times a day it's fairly unlikely.

However, it is impulsive, possibly hyperactive, behaviour that's being described, which is why I mentioned the possibility of adhd.

And it's always good to mention the damage caused by artificial food colouring - banned in several countries yet allowed in children's medicine in this country.

I accidentally gave my son some last year - a strepsil on the way to school - and he had a terrible day with a very confused teacher wondering why he wouldn't stop talking till later in the afternoon. It doesn't affect some children, but the ones it does have a terrible time on them.

meritaten

Gingham_R wrote: »

What you'll find with hyperactivity caused by artificial food colouring is a spike in inability to settle fairly soon after taking the problem food. If the child had sweets before school for example, it would have worn off by the end of the day. If he took it at lunch time, he'd be fine in the morning. If it's all the time, unless he's eating something damaging several times a day it's fairly unlikely.

However, it is impulsive, possibly hyperactive, behaviour that's being described, which is why I mentioned the possibility of adhd.

And it's always good to mention the damage caused by artificial food colouring - banned in several countries yet allowed in children's medicine in this country.

I accidentally gave my son some last year - a strepsil on the way to school - and he had a terrible day with a very confused teacher wondering why he wouldn't stop talking till later in the afternoon. It doesn't affect some children, but the ones it does have a terrible time on them.

you are so right GinghamR! my DIL couldnt understand why my GD was so ill one minute - yet would be running around talking non-stop for hours - then crash on the sofa and seem worse. until she showed me the medication GD was prescribed - and I knew straight away - cos it was bright red - tasted of strawberries and was terribly sweet! and yes, GD is sensitive to colourings and additives! it had never occured to DIL that these would be present in medicines!
after a change in prescription the difference was remarkable!

daska

If the school don't think it's a problem that could mean a couple of things, either that there isn't a problem or that the teachers aren't recognising it as a problem. But if the scout group have gone as far as ringing you then, quite obviously, it IS a problem for them. When I was at school we didn't dare talk out of turn, whispering between us would result in the chalk or duster pinging past our ears (if we were lucky). That didn't mean we couldn't be loud and gobby in situations where it wasn't frowned upon. And this, to me, would appear to be the crux of the problem, your lad either can't or won't recognise that he has to adjust his behaviour to be appropriate to the situation he is in. At age 10 I would expect him to be able to recognise how he should behave, even if he struggles to manage it all the time. What really caught my attention was that he still hasn't twigged that he shouldn't be helping others during test conditions, if this is ongoing I would suggest that there might be something more than just being helpful. And the reasons for that could be many and various as suggested above. Personally I think I'd be querying the school on just what 'not so bad' actually means and be asking about a referral to the Educational Psychologist.

With regard to the TV/ games consoles, cinema etc - these are all solitary activities. Are meals out with just you or do you include others to widen the conversation and improve his social skills? Are school and scouts his only social based activities? Could you tempt him into some others or encourage friends to come over (not to watch TV or play computer games). We got rid of the TVs for several years. We still had DVD's but we watched films as a family and the older kids could watch TV and play on the PS2 at their grandparents' and friends' houses so they didn't miss out on that common ground with their peers. If someone wanted to play games on their ipod or DS we made a point of ALL joining in watching over shoulders, taking turns etc. Family meals took place at the dining table and we'd try to have a couple of topics prepared to stimulate conversation.) DS2's dad is a musician so that was another 'family' activity we all joined in with. The kids could have as much time out as they wanted if they were prepared to stick their nose in a book LOL Ultimately it all fell apart due to illness/disability etc but the interesting thing is that the kids still talk about that time with fondness, they loved the togetherness and miss it. Just something to consider...

mrcow

Padz wrote: »

I'll answer your question about what I do if you can show how it is in any way relevant to the OP and her son. But things have moved on in schools since Victorian times.

It's not "Victorian" to give a kid time out. Where on Earth did you get that idea from?

As for having to sit quietly during instructions, of course you do a risk assessment before any potentially hazardous activity. One of the stages within that assessment will be ensuring that all pupils have listened to any important instructions beforehand. If they don't/can't then how can the activity take place? I wouldn't let any of my kids light a Bunsen burner unless I was 100% confident that they were going to be safe. If I couldn't guarantee that, then sorry no, the practical would not be going ahead.

A cub scout leader isn't going to raise an issue over this willy nilly, only if it's causing a problem.