how to control son's disruptive behaviour

mrcow

mutley74 wrote: »

He usually plays the computer/games console most days after school as he is looked after by my folks until i come home after work.

What time do you come home from work?

Personally, I'd stop any weektime PS3 and limit it to the weekend and limit the tv. It's no way for any child to learn how to entertain themselves/build imagination skills/increase attention span.

My son is in the same years as yours. He has an xbox which is limited to the weekends only. This situation has been going on for years now and I've never had a single complaint. It's got nothing to do with puinishment, it's just limiting it to something that's far more appropriate to a kid of that age and means that he spends hours reading, playing with toys, riding his bike, designing stuff etc.......stuff boys should be doing, rather than sitting blankly at flashing images on a screen.

BitterAndTwisted

In my opinion those games can be over-stimulating and they're designed to be addictive. I wouldn't necessarily want an overstimulated ten year old on my hands. At any time of day because they can be a ruddy menace but most especially any time near bed-time.

Padz_2

A lot of this removing treats bothers me a bit because to me it doesn't sound as if he's being naughty as such. He's just lively (I'm a teacher and I like those kind of kids they are very rewarding to teach) and sociable. A bit of a team player too by the sound of it!

So can someone who knows more about cubs explain why they have to be really quiet there and if it is at all acceptable to make a child sit in the corner? :eek:

CH27

Does he get lots of exercise to use up his energy?

mrcow

Padz wrote: »

So can someone who knows more about cubs explain why they have to be really quiet there and if it is at all acceptable to make a child sit in the corner? :eek:

Perhaps because they do things like archery, shooting and starting fires - you have to listen to instructions. If anyone doesn't, it's a health and safety hazard waiting to happen. Why should everyone else miss out because one child won't behave?

Ref the corner thing - it's probably a "time out" strategy. Most teachers use them. What do you do with kids that are persistently disrupting your lessons?

JC9297

My first thought is when is he talking? When in class is he talking when he is supposed to be working and not getting on with his work whilst possibly disturbing others, or is he talking when the teacher is talking which is just bad manners and against the 'rules' in most classes.
It sounds as if at scouts he is talking when somebody else is talking and he should be listening. Perhaps because it is just the two of you at home he is used to talking whenever he wants without waiting his turn, but he needs to learn that it is inappropriate to talk when others are speaking.

Gingham_R

Is he well organised? Does he remember to bring his homework from school and take it back again? Does he put his coat and shoes where they should go? Does he remember what he's doing when you ask him to go brush his teeth? Can he make plans and follow them?

Does he fidget a lot or get out of his seat when you're having dinner?

Does he forget what he's just been told to do? Does he drift off when you're talking to him? Do instant rewards help him do what's required of him? Does he get really tired after school?

Your son's behaviour sounds impulsive. Have you thought of ADHD? If you find yourself answering yes to a lot of these questions, it's worth looking into.

A lot of kids with ADHD get punished inappropriately for things that are very very difficult for them to change without support.

pmlindyloo

JC9297 wrote: »

My first thought is when is he talking? When in class is he talking when he is supposed to be working and not getting on with his work whilst possibly disturbing others, or is he talking when the teacher is talking which is just bad manners and against the 'rules' in most classes.
It sounds as if at scouts he is talking when somebody else is talking and he should be listening. Perhaps because it is just the two of you at home he is used to talking whenever he wants without waiting his turn, but he needs to learn that it is inappropriate to talk when others are speaking.

I also suspect that this is what is happening.

Because there are just the two of you he, perhaps, has not had the opportunity to wait his turn and everytime he speaks somebody listens.

Have you noticed this when he is at your folks' house? Is he given a lot of attention? Allowed to interupt your parents?

I am not blaming you. It is so easy to let children take over your lives. Personally I think there is a lot to be said for the 'seen and not heard' on ocassion!

pineapple

It sounds to me like your child is hyperactive (it's not necessarily the same as ADHD but that's what we used to call it before ADHD came along).
Maybe this diet advice will help
http://www.netmums.com/family-food/healthy-eating/food-activists/from-hyper-to-calm-in-4-food-steps
And this
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=235

Gingham_R

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Because there are just the two of you he, perhaps, has not had the opportunity to wait his turn and everytime he speaks somebody listens.

I really don't think that could possibly be the case in a child who has been in our education system for several years.

It's useful to look at parenting strategies, but when a good natured child is struggling to this extent in and out of school I'd want to rule out learning differences. I can't imagine this mum lets her child just interrupt constantly without trying to prevent it.