MSE Pregnancy Club 24

ikkle87

little_miss_moneysaver wrote: »

Wow Ikkle your list is amazing. Will have too look for offers before I use my boots vouchers. Mine expire in June so I've got time. I think I saw Huggies on offer in Morrisons on the advert. My sis works there so I get 10% off too so might take some vouchers there too. Would be great if you had any more places to get freebies/bargains.

Kira, sounds great cd. Any chance you could pm me the details?

Its just cos I'm a skinflint and like to save money lol, I'm a sad cow and have a little plastic wallet with my vouchers in. If you get the huggies boxes from asda look out for 342 offers on the wipes. Sainsbury's recently has them on buy 1 get 2 free. By using the £1 voucher out of the box I managed to get 3 packs of wipes for £1.59.

I have a list of things as well that we need to buy for bubs and I mark off when we've bought it so that i know what to look out for on offer etc. We don't need nappies or wipes anymore lol!

dizziblonde

OK I kind of vanished... apologies - this will be long and may be distressing/worrying to some - for someone who was never freaked by horror stories - I kind of had one, and appear to have majorly jumped the queue a bit. Before I say anything - I'll say the horror story part isn't the birth bit - but the behaviour of the hospital really. Haven't been able to post for a loooong while, hell, haven't seen the sunlight for a looooong while either - persuaded hubby to buy me a wireless dongle thingee and bring my laptop in tonight so I wasn't climbing the walls in here.

So gather round and I'll give you the list of how NOT to behave in labour, things not to say that'll flag you up as a nutcase and similar...

OK, so we last saw our heroine, sat at her PC, at 33 weeks pregnant - armed with one mahoosive Green and Blacks easter egg - and then she kind of vanished into the sunset. Basically I had periody-type pains, nowt unbearable, nowt "contracty" - but on a regular timeframe - which was what worried me... rang the hospital in the end expecting them to tell me to go in, get checked, get told it was ok, and get home within a few hours.

Got to hospital, and they put me on the trace monitor, baby was fine, uterus wasn't doing much but they did an internal exam and found some fluid around, tested it and it was amniotic fluid so there was obviously a leak in my membranes somewhere - so they gave me the first of the two steroid injections to mature the baby's lungs and basically were taking the line that they were going into infection-control mode and trying to keep the baby cooking as long as possible - but to mentally prepare for a premie baby really. Pain was bearable - they got a member of the neo-natal unit to come and talk to me about how 33-34 weekers were likely to be and be treated - and left me and hubby in a room on the delivery suite overnight. Because of the infection risk - no exams other than speculums up there, no fingers, no one checking for dilation - and not allowed to move around in case the baby suddenly dropped and the cord got stuck in the way.

Pain got worse so they put me on diamorphine and I spent the night having pains at 2 mins apart, which started to show on the monitor - but still didn't rank as proper labour - in fact no one used the "l" word at all but more a "we don't know what your body's doing" lots... come the morning - I got asked to go onto a ward and freaked out at the idea of hubby having to leave me overnight (this becomes the first bit of the whole snowball of disaster) - I've mentioned on here before that my biggest fear was being stuck on a ward alone overnight without hubby - had a relative die from a hospital infection, also the one and only time I've stayed in hospital before, they left me overnight and forgot about me till mid-morning the day after... so after a while of me becoming mildly hysterical (painrelief had worn off, I'd had no sleep and was getting scared by it all, but coming to terms with the idea you're going to have a premature baby is a pretty big deal to cope with as well) at the idea of being alone - they said they'd secured me a side room in a ward where hubby could stay with me overnight... moved me there and the second the nice delivery ward sister had left the room - the previously nice midwife there turned into the Trunchbull from Matilda - told hubby he'd be made to go home, and started being vile to me when I said I'd discharge myself and come back for the second injection (they have to be 24 hrs apart) at midnight rather than be there alone... midwife became more and more angry towards me, making me more and more scared - and I really really started to need a poo (you can guess where this is going) - I'd been promised more pain relief was en-route for 3 hours then - it never came and the only relief I was getting was sitting on the loo... and pop - woosh - remaining waters went like nothing else... all of a sudden THEN they would examine me - and I was 8cm dilated, with nowt more than a flipping paracetamol!

Took me BACK down to the labour suite, in the world's worst-driven trolley banging off every wall on the way there... and they finally let me loose on the gas and air (by this point I'd been waiting for my promised diamorphine for 3 and a half hours)... which made things bearable and pleasantly blurry - and then the urge to push came.

Sidetrack at this point to the SPD issue. Now loads of the stuff about SPD talks about making sure no one pushes you to get your legs open past your comfort gap, and trying to avoid being made to lie on your back with your legs akimbo to give birth... and the nice possibility of long-term damage particularly with stuff like the epidural - legs in stirrups wide apart situation... and my SPD was blooming well bad by this point, had been for months and I was worried about being permanently crippled by it... keep this terror in mind as it becomes relevant to the story later.

So I had words with the new midwife as I hit shift change - we talked about my SPD and fear of damaging my pelvis permanently - but she kept on pulling my legs apart out of habit during each push... and then apologising for it. Because the baby's always been a lil wriggler - they kept losing the heart trace as well - so grabbed someone to come in and hold it on my stomach... so I was basically being pinned to the bed - with my legs being pulled apart causing me pain. Pushed for an hour - was pretty ok and bearable... but they'd warned me the neo-natal team would be rushing in when the time came because of the fact this was a 33 weeker.

Her heart rate started to drop - and things started to go badly wrong. Already upset by the suddeness of it all, the crap over the ward and evil midwife, they started talking of forceps (cesarians were out of the option as she was low down in my pelvis at this point) as she was becoming distressed... and the choice I was given was - forceps in the room with no pain relief and agonising pain, or forceps in surgery with a spinal - and the whole legs in stirrups, potential SPD hell issue. I started mentioning the SPD thing and my fear of my legs being spread too far - and was getting ignored and ignored and ignored and guilt tripped with the bad mother crap, and even my job used against me... making everything worse and worse and worse and worse and me more and more hysterical. Eventually I said something I remember fairly clearly "I don't care anymore if I die here, my baby's going to die like all the others did anyway - I just don't care - leave me alone"... and eventually they brow beat me down to consenting to the surgery - claimed to measure my leg gap and promised to not go beyond it, promised they never did episiotomies without asking consent, promised the moon on a stick... and off we went. Through it all they kept firing this at me and demanding instant responses to things - even though I couldn't speak during contractions and had explained to them that I would reply, but they'd have to wait till the pain was over.

Got into theatre and they tried to get me vertical to put a spinal block in - and funnily, since they'd had me pretty much pinned to a bed for 2 days by then against my wishes - boy could you feel her start to get un-wedged... spinal went in, and legs went up into stirrups - about level with the level of my hips - so they completely ignored my fears about this and the promises they'd made. I was told to push - couldn't feel anything so no idea if I did or not - and then they said the baby was out - and I was just numb and someone pointed out the whitey-blue coconutty looking type thing being lifted from the dead zone somewhere where my lower half should have been... I didn't get to see her (they confirmed it was a her at least) at all - hubby's glad I didn't to be honest as she came out silent and floppy... but eventually she cried (I heard that) - and they rushed her out of the theatre without me seeing her at all - I remember them saying "you're a mummy" - but I was just numb, and scared witless and wanting to know what they were all doing around my ladybits - got told one guy was removing bits of placenta (basically up to his armpits in my chuff yanking bits out I think) and then they spent ages sewing - so I was asking what was wrong and how badly damaged I was - and they kept on fobbing me off and avoiding the question - when I would have been less panicked by them telling me it was bad. They were sewing for a good 20 minutes - felt like a year.

Then they wheeled me outside - and told me the baby had gone to NNICU, that I'd had a 3rd degree tear as she'd come flying out back to back and they'd cut me as well (they didn't tell or ask about that like they said they would), and they'd take me to see the baby... wheeled me into neo-natal, showed me her and I just felt utterly numb about it all - then they kicked me out so they could x-ray her and took me to a ward.

Yes, I'm sure you've guessed this part - they put the mother of a premature baby in intensive care - onto their regular post-natal do yer 6 hours or overnight stay and off you go ward... so I spent the night in shock, scared cos although they'd put hubby up overnight (she was born at 10.41 on Easter Monday) it was in a different room so I was on my own, with numb legs, no pants on, no pad so just bleeding out over the sheets and one of those pads they put on the bed - listening to newborn babies cry all night in the same room - and I just lay there and sobbed... on top of which, the bed I was in was right next to the nurses' station so I could hear the talk of how they'd got a new patient who was aggressive, obstructive and difficult to deal with... and they immediately had begun acting like that - I had a huge canula in my hand and it kept getting caught on stuff, so I asked if they could just restick one of the wires so it pathed ever so slightly differently and didn't wobble as much... they immediately had launched into a huge speech about how silly I was being, how I needed the drugs, how I'd die without them etc - just all in that tone of voice when all I was asking was for a bit of micropore tape to stick a tube down properly... that sort of thing.

Next morning they took me down to neo-natal, and she was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life... still didn't really feel the wall of disassociation broken down, didn't feel like her mum - with her in this incubator with wires everywhere - but when I held her I kind of felt it. Then got taken back up to the ward, started trying to mentally make sense of it - hubby went home for a little while - and while he was gone, they called me into one of the side rooms and told me they'd referred me to social services as a risk to the baby because of my obstructive attitude and the fear I'd put the baby in danger from my comments in the delivery room.

I had to sit and explain my entire reproductive history, all the fertility problems, all the miscarriages - to explain the comment about my babies dying... then I had to explain why I had a referral to mental health services on my midwife notes - the referral I myself had requested in order to make sure I was in the system in case post-natal depression struck... everything gone into, and the woman talking to me gradually realised I'd been terrified, been lied to and mishandled since I got into the hospital - and I'd basically been backed into a corner and put in a fight or flight situation... said she'd verify that all with social services, that there wasn't a real risk they'd take the baby away from me - but I had that hanging over me for a good couple of days and I still don't feel fully free from the whole big brother watching me idea to be honest... even though lots of the ward staff who've been lovely have assured me the threat is past.

Anyway the result of that all was that they accepted the whole thing was, to use the technical term, ballocks - but it left me so scared of doing anything, challenging anything, questioning any treatment... and very very traumatised to be honest.

Back to the baby stuff anyway - she spent 2 days in the high-dependency part of NNICU, then another day and a bit on lower dependency - and now she's on the normal ward with me... she's still not out of the woods, and we've had a few brushes with bad apples on the staff who didn't help or support - but we've met a few angels along the way as well. She's being tube-fed still, while we try to establish feeding - I've just today thrown the breastfeeding plan out of the window because I think it's holding her back in terms of her finding it hard to maintain a latch when she so desperately wants to feed herself... so we're expressing and mixed-feeding through a mixture of a nasal tube and bottles... having issues with recurring jaundice and having to spend time under the light treatment - but she's a lil trooper - was a smidge under 5lb when she was born, hasn't stopped losing birth weight yet - but she is utterly utterly beautiful, a tiny little doll and such a good little girl... she can also raise one eyebrow - a talent I've always been jealous of... and funnily - she looks exactly how I imagined (only smaller obviously) - a shock of dark hair and these big blue eyes and a permanently puzzled expression on her face... and she missed being a 34 weeker by about an hour and a bit!

Sorry about the length - the birth horror story though is mainly the hospital treatment of me - the stitches and tear didn't hurt much at all (bring yer own soft loo roll in yer hospital bag though - the sadist who put crinkly school loo roll in the loos of a post-natal ward is an evil git), and those pillows with the hole in really do work wonders... even dilating to 8cm on only two paracetamol (although I did threaten on a few occasions to insert those paracetamol in places where the sun didn't shine when people chirpily offered 'em) wasn't too bad, and pushing on only gas and air wasn't bad either... just my hospital that let us down really.

But me, dad and Erin (we changed our choice of name very close to the last minute - she was destined for months to be an Anna or Imogen - just had a late night chat and threw names out and Erin came out there and stuck) are Team Awesome - and Mini-Awesome is gonna rock this place and get out of here... cos we're still stuck on this blooming post-natal ward, with some very interesting fellow occupants - a mix of premie babies on the mend, plus people on short stays after birth and longer ones... and so far we've had one daddy thrown out, another mum who needed to be shouted at to feed her baby more than 9 hours apart, fisticuffs over jaundice vs suntan this afternoon and god-knows what else!

So yeah - there's the update anyway.

Gillyx

Congrats dizzi! I also got cut without as much as a 'we're going to...'

Glad baby erin is doing well xx

Teerah

My goodness Dizzi, so sorry to hear of your bad experience. I hope you and little Erin continue to do well, she's a great wee weight for being early!

ginvzt

Ohm dizzy, sorry you bad to go through so much. But I am so happy you both are better now. Congratulations!

I am getting stressed over MIL again. They 'had FIL appointment moved' by two weeks, so it is now in first week we wanted them to come. I feel like itvwas moved more in her request, so they can come here early. Now she has an appointment herself, so they can only come for one week, and she came up with idea that they could come for a week before FIL appointment sometime, and then later on for another week. However, I feel like she is trying to get it her own away, as last time OH explained to her that we want few weeks to ourselves so we can get ourselves sorted and see how things. So, the next thing we know, the appointment is moved forward by two weeks, and I guess she was expecting that we will just tell her to come earlier. So, I will be again the stupid woman who doesn't understand anything and doesn't know what she is doing, because I do not want her here in the first weeks after the birth. If she thinks she will be allowed to check me because she has medical degree, she can think again - I don't even feel comfortable about thinking about breastfeeding in front of herM

Sorry, she just upsetting me. OH will try his best to ge me agree for them to come earlier, I am quite sure of that, and I am afraid I might give in. Which will jus give her another victory and encouregment to keep pushing OH to get things the way she wants. And OH always listens to her, even if he doesn't admit it.

Sorry, ranting again.

happydays77_2

Congratulations on the birth of Erin. I'm sorry you were treated so shoddily by the hospital. Hoping you can both get out very soon xx

Amymo

Wow Dizzi, congratulations on Erin's arrival, albeit traumatic she sounds so sweet, we're all rooting for Team Awesome here

Aw Gin, sorry to hear about your in law troubles, I do hope you find the strength to stand your ground, remember you're carrying these two amazing little lives, no-one else, I find people's presumptions about what 'they're going to do' unreal, I hope you can persuade your OH the same x

little_miss_moneysaver_3

Oh Dizzi we were really worried about you on here. Sounds like a nightmare of epic proportions! So glad that Erin is doing well and that you are healing. Glad that social worker had some sense to see what was going on and was able to reassure you a bit. Sounds like team awesome is winning. Congratulations to you and hubby.

Sorry to hear about the inlaws Gin you predicted she'd make some excuse to come when she wanted. Try stick your ground though, those first few weeks at home are precious without a dragon watching over you and judging all your decisions. Either that or you may have to move house and not tell her!! Hope your OH will stay strong, you've obviously spoken to him about it all.

Right I'm off to bed, hope everyone gets a decent nights sleep xxx

emsbet

EDD

1. emilyxxx8 - 14th April 2012 ?
2. Charli82 - 15th April 2012 ?
3. 2522laura - 19th April 2012 ? (planned c-section)
4. Bianx - 20th April 2012 ?
5. Dashikii - 22nd April 2012 (induction) :female: :female: (Twins)
6. AmySquash - 23rd April 2012 ?
7. Lisa26 - 27th April 2012 ?
8. jennynoo - 28th April 2012
9. amymo - 28th April 2012 :female:
10. alizee - 3rd May 2012 :female:
11. jem2 - 5th May 2012 :female:
12. natwesty - 12th May 2012 ?
13. gtothec - 12th May 2012 ?
14. Magicboo-18th May 2012 (twins!) ? ?
15. Kabie - 18th May 2012 ?
16. Doodlebug86-19th May 2012 ?
17. Teerah - 20th May 2012 ?
18. Princess Fairy Sparkle - 21st May 2012 ?
19. LegalBlonde - 22nd May 2012 ?
20. Wiccanlou - 26th May 2012 ?(waiting for dating scan)
21. Pistachio - 26th May 2012 ?
22. MrsH...2B - 29th May 2012 ?
23. Norabatty - 2nd June 2012 ?
24. choclover - 5th June 2012?
25. MrsManda - 8th June 2012 :male:
26. kelda_shelton - 10th June 2012 :male:
27. monks - 10th June 2012 :male:
28. ginvzt - 13th June 2012 :female: :male: (twins)
29. Jovichick123 - 13th June 2012 :male:
30. Thrifty-gal26 - 13th June 2012 :male:
31. BB1984 - 14th June 2012 ?
32. Ladylegs -14th June 2012 :male:
33. AmyP1985 - 14th June 2012 ?
34. Weekendpants - 14th June 2012 ?
35. SallyCinnamon - 15th June 2012 :female:
36. Lixi - 20th June 2012 :male:
37. Triangle - 22nd June 2012 :male:
38. museumworker - 22nd June 2012 ? Going for a surprise
39. nikkikayj - 28th June 2012 ?
40. MrsBryan - 28th June 2012 :male:
41. whowants2brich- 3rd July 2012 ? Going for a suprise
42. rakkibeth - 8th July 2012 ? Going for a suprise
43. Robyn - 20th July 2012 :male:
44. Clarissa62 - 20th July 2012 :male:
45. Rebekah - 23rd July 2012 :female:
46. stephimoon - 27th July 2012
47. jediquigley - 30th July 2012 ?
48. MrsExcited - 3rd August 2012 ?
49. Agscully-11th August 2012 ?
50. GemmaE-11th August 2012 ?
51. jen77 - 14th August 2012 ?
52. Bellola - 7th September 2012 ?
53. Elelyn - 8th September 2012 ?
54. emsbet - 11th September 2012 ?
55. The Next Verse - 12th September 2012 ?
56. MissMonkeyMoo - 12th September 2012 ?
57. Little miss moneysaver - 14th September 2012 :male:
58. Mishkanorman - 19th September 2012 :male:
59. sexymouse - 23rd September 2012 ?
60. tigerwhite - 26th September 2012 ?
61. fozpot - 27th September 2012 ?

Hospital Bag list here

Supplement list and dosage here

BIRTH LIST

:female: floatylight - 16th February - Scarlett
:male: mozzyc - 17th February 2012 - Charlie - 7lb 8oz - 3.20am
:female: lucy1973 - 27th February 2012 - Amelie Grace - 5lb 15oz
:male: Serendisglair - 1st March 2012 - Iaon David - 8lb 6oz
:male: Emmylou - 3rd March 2012 - Flynn Craig - 8lb 14oz - 11.40pm
:female: Darkphaery - 9th March 2012 - Ava Louise - 6.21am
:female: Icey77 - 16th March 2012, 18:58 - Caitlin Isabel Anna 8lbs 11oz
:female: Ravenlady - 17th March 2012 - Matilda
:male: Sammie - 20th March 2012 - Noah, 7lb 9oz
:female: VikkiKawaii - 22nd March 2012, 11:20am - Tehya
:female: Lola888 - 25th March 2012 - Isabella 8lb 5oz - 13.48pm
:female: Dinah93 - 26th March 2012, 12:45 - Grace Nancy Alison 1lb 15oz
:female: Lovecrafting - 30th March 2012- Isla Allison 4lb 8oz
:male: camNolliesMUMMY - 3rd April 2012, 1:59pm - Oliver 8lb 8.5oz
:female: Snoopytweety - 4th April 2012, 10:02pm - Isabella Harriet Clarice 6lbs 5.5oz
:female: Goppers - 6th April 2012, 6:25pm - 5lbs 5oz
:female: flutterby_lil - 7th April 2012, 13:07 - Maisie Elizabeth 8lbs 9oz
:female: Dizziblonde - 9th April 2012, 22:41 - Erin 4.99lbs
:male: happydays77 - 11th April 2012, 15:05 - Tristan Leonard 8lbs 7oz
:male: glimmerofhope - 14th April 2012 3pm - Leo

PROBABLY GIVEN
BIRTH BUT TOO WORN OUT TO LOG ON LIST
allow 2 weeks after EDD before transferring to this list

BargainAholic - 14th February 2012 - TWINS ??
Moneyhoney1 - 16th February 2012 :male:
RLV-88 - 23rd February 2012
xcurlyluciex - 11th March 2012
emmigrant-immigrant - 20th March 2012 (date tbc at scan)
Safesound - 26th March 2012:male:
Phunkles - 27th March 2012 ?
Henry_Hoover - 28th March 2012 :male:

CONTRACTION MASTER TIMER

Please post your birth stories here when you
have time/energy

MSE Parents Facebook group. Please PM Sami_Bee with your real name to be accepted.

xx

emsbet

Oh dizzi, your experience sounds just dreadful! I'm sorry they put you through all that. But congratulations on the birth of baby Erin (beautiful name). I've updated the list, let me know if I've missed anything/ got anything wrong.

xx