Please can you take your shoes off

NickyBat

Have loved reading this thread

I have the opposite problem, my BIL gets athletes foot and everytime he comes he insists on taking his shoes off, despite me telling him to leave them on, AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Any

Person_one wrote: »

I meant its pointless to state one culture's way of doing things as the correct way, yes it is about respect for those cultures but its not for everybody!

My house my rules is not absolute anyway, is it?

If i had a house rule requiring people to remove any other item of clothing I would be considered rude. If I had a house rule that everybody who came in had to wash their hands before touching anything that would be rude, if I had a house rule that you have to stand in the kitchen to drink your tea that would be rude.

Well, it is your house so I would just not enter. I wouldn't actually think you are rude to be honest, with the examples you have given I would just think you are barking!:D If you just repaired your tyre and your hands are covered in tyre mud then I can guarantee you I would ask you to wash your hands if that thought haven't entered your mind, you bet.
Having or not having to take my shoes off would however not be deal breaker for me..
I can see points behind both arguments, so I will just do as you wish me too. Also because I am well traveled and aware of the multuculturism of this country I would know that the people are not just trying to offend me, it's just the way they like it.
As I am in their home I will comply.

Errata

Person_one wrote: »

I'm sorry to break it to you, but the bolded is a really really patronising and annoying way to go about it. If you think its perfectly ok to ask then have the courage of your convictions and just ask!

I slightly agree, except I would view it as somewhat passive aggressive behaviour. In any case, I do NOT believe any of these 'shoes off' posters would tell the Queen to take her shoes off should she decide to pop in for a cuppa.

peaceandfreedom

Person_one wrote: »

Good post, this is exactly the issue I think.

You're telling your guests that they at least partly an inconvenience and an intrusion.

I agree with this bit. Asking guests to remove their shoes is putting the cleanliness of your house before the comfort of your guests. The 'feel free to leave your shoes ....' is even more annoying, I'd rather be asked straight out, at least then it's clear what the rules are. I much prefer to be in a house with no rules though, it's hard to relax in a house with uptight hosts. I suspect no-shoes people have all kinds of rules to do with cleanliness.

My favourite houses to visit are the more lived-in homes, where there is a fire burning merrily in the grate, an untidy pile of logs nearby, lots of books and magazines about and comfy sofas. You are allowed to put your cup of tea down on a nice wooden table that doesn't need coasters, no-one keels over in horror if you drop a crumb on the floor ....

I suppose it's entirely personal - I view a house as somewhere you should be able to relax. If I had to worry about things getting dirty (and particularly a floor, which is always going to get dirty but is easily enough cleaned) I wouldn't relax. Not to say I want to live in a slum but I don't want to live in an operating theatre either.

It's the same with cars. There is huge comfort in having a car that you don't overly care about - it's reliable and safe and it does the job. But if it gets a little scratch, you don't care and you probably wouldn't notice. If 3 big lads get in with their cloddy muddy trainers, so be it, it'll hoover out at some point (probably the end of the Winter!). You throw stuff in the boot for taking to the tip without a second thought. There is something sooo relaxing about a car like that as opposed to a car that you are constantly twitching about - the sort of car that has no-eating, no-dirty-shoes, no-touching-anything, actually-don't-breathe-if-you-can-help-it set of rules.

I see this thread has unleashed my inner slob, which is never far from the surface anyway.

peaceandfreedom

Any wrote: »

No one is asking you to float around the house. Just to be considered about their condition.
If you were a car mechanic and you were in your dirty overall you would not sit on someones sofa in that, would you?
That is why car mechanics put cover on your car seats...

That's not the point. The post I replied to was comparing sofas with carpets - clearly they are not the same thing. Walking on a carpet with shoes on can not be compared to putting your shoes on a sofa.

I don't think anyone here would walk muddy shoes around someone's house - we are talking about normal clean shoes, wiped on the doormat.

Any

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

I agree with this bit. Asking guests to remove their shoes is putting the cleanliness of your house before the comfort of your guests. The 'feel free to leave your shoes ....' is even more annoying, I'd rather be asked straight out, at least then it's clear what the rules are. I much prefer to be in a house with no rules though, it's hard to relax in a house with uptight hosts. I suspect no-shoes people have all kinds of rules to do with cleanliness.

My favourite houses to visit are the more lived-in homes, where there is a fire burning merrily in the grate, an untidy pile of logs nearby, lots of books and magazines about and comfy sofas. You are allowed to put your cup of tea down on a nice wooden table that doesn't need coasters, no-one keels over in horror if you drop a crumb on the floor ....

I suppose it's entirely personal - I view a house as somewhere you should be able to relax. If I had to worry about things getting dirty (and particularly a floor, which is always going to get dirty but is easily enough cleaned) I wouldn't relax. Not to say I want to live in a slum but I don't want to live in an operating theatre either.

It's the same with cars. There is huge comfort in having a car that you don't overly care about - it's reliable and safe and it does the job. But if it gets a little scratch, you don't care and you probably wouldn't notice. If 3 big lads get in with their cloddy muddy trainers, so be it, it'll hoover out at some point (probably the end of the Winter!). You throw stuff in the boot for taking to the tip without a second thought. There is something sooo relaxing about a car like that as opposed to a car that you are constantly twitching about - the sort of car that has no-eating, no-dirty-shoes, no-touching-anything, actually-don't-breathe-if-you-can-help-it set of rules.

I see this thread has unleashed my inner slob, which is never far from the surface anyway.

Hmmm... sorry, I see it as middle way.

Firstly, no, some floors, mainly carpets are not just "easily cleaned". Mud gets walked in unless you hoover every day and once it is walked in after short while your only option is to replace it.
To be honest that is why I don't have carpets downstairs personally.

You are pointing at extreme - car with no eating no this and that is extreme. The issue here is not extreme, no one is saying that you cannot eat in living room or sit on a sofa if you have no shoes policy.

And mainly - you enter house for an hour or two. You spend an hour or two in your car, where the boot is by the way most likely separated.
The owners of the car live in the house 24/7, 365 days of the year, sleep in it, eat in it etc..

You might have noticed that I consider house the thing to be most proud of. That does not make me cleaner freak (:rotfl::rotfl:I'll tell my hubby, he will laugh his head off) and does not mean that in my house you cannot live, move or eat.

Person_one

Any wrote: »

If you just repaired your tyre and your hands are covered in tyre mud then I can guarantee you I would ask you to wash your hands if that thought haven't entered your mind, you bet.

Ah, well here's another angle, assuming your guests are uncouth enough that they won't care about genuinely muddy or oily shoes and so on.

Normal, polite people aren't going to track actual mud and dirt all through your house just because you didn't ask them not to!

Any

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

That's not the point. The post I replied to was comparing sofas with carpets - clearly they are not the same thing. Walking on a carpet with shoes on can not be compared to putting your shoes on a sofa.

I don't think anyone here would walk muddy shoes around someone's house - we are talking about normal clean shoes, wiped on the doormat.

Clean shoes?
I am sorry, in the past 30 days it was not peeing it down here for about 18 hours in total...
Maybe it is where I live.

Anyway, I said my piece. I can't see it a problem and that is it. I will do as my hosts want me to do.
Fortunately I never had to ask anyone to take their shoes off and hopefully never will have.

thatgirlsam

lilrahi wrote: »

I have a shoe rack by the door and if someone doesn't I try and make a joke of it (depending on how well I know the person), like 'Oooh, someone forgot to take their shoes off' etc. But I have no problems if they still wear their shoes in the front room but insist when they come into the living room.

My 15-month old still crawls around and I would prefer the floor be clean as possible.

People think that just because I have laminate flooring, it's alright cos it's easier to clean and I'm like no, with your carpet you can just hoover and that will be OK. I have to hoover and then mop!!

The worst offender is my SIL and her husband. In their house, as soon as they enter they take their shoes off and then carry it into the store room by their kitchen. In my house, they always attempt to get away with their shoes on and they're the ones I always have to tell off!

Jeez if one of my mates said that to me I would just start laughing

If you want me to take my shoes off just say, don't speak to me like I am a 5 year old!

Any

Person_one wrote: »

Ah, well here's another angle, assuming your guests are uncouth enough that they won't care about genuinely muddy or oily shoes and so on.

Normal, polite people aren't going to track actual mud and dirt all through your house just because you didn't ask them not to!

If you are not used to taking your shoes off it won't even enter your mind.
Also especially in heavy boots the mud get stuck in between the threat on the sole of the shoe and you don't see it unless you check them.
Again, as it is normal here not to even think about it I cannot see you do that.