Nice people thread part 5 - nicely does it

silvercar

My physical criteria would be:

a) tall
b) not fat.

silvercar

chewmylegoff wrote: »

well you don't want your kids to be taller than you, it just looks all wrong, and your son might start thinking that he's the alpha male and all that sort of carp.

But do you want to risk producing short boys who have a complex about their height?

lostinrates

I would hope if dh and i had a boy it would be taller than both of us! At last someone to reach things without a chair!

Doozergirl

silvercar wrote: »

My physical criteria would be:

a) tall
b) not fat.

Ah, I knew I'd fulfill criteria for someone here! :rotfl:

LydiaJ

While we are on the subject of relationships.... Something happened to me at the weekend that felt like a bit of a LBM about how relationships are supposed to work.

My dad was here for the weekend. On Sunday afternoon he and I were sorting the garden out. I went into the house for some reason and got waylaid by children claiming to be starving. I made sandwiches for them, and one for me, and then I thought I'd make one for him. Rather than going out to ask him what he wanted, I guessed, and made it with some mature honey that he'd enjoyed at breakfast and commented on.

When I took it out to him, he thanked me, but said he'd been intending to eat up the pate for lunch. He cheerfully peeled the sandwich apart, folded the piece with all the honey on and ate it, and suggested I could put pate on the other bit for him, which I did. This was a major revelation to me: I guessed what he would like so as to surprise him, my guess was incorrect and he was able to say so in a way that didn't make me feel wrong or stupid or bad, but actually appreciated for the thought I'd put into thinking he might like the honey. This is so not how my attempts to make nice surprises for LNE were usually received. If I shared my life with a man like that, I would be able to plan surprises for him without feeling scared of getting it wrong.

This is all probably terribly basic stuff to those of you with happy marriages, but it was all new to me. I don't know why it should have so surprised me - my parents were always like that with each other when I was growing up, and I was like that with things LNE did for me, and still am when my kids do things for me. Perhaps I'm just a very very slow learner.

chewmylegoff

JonnyBravo wrote: »

Move to a SevernTrent area, it's in the water.

Can't help him with the height thing though... I'm presuming chewy is c.5'6"?

Bless.

I'm 6ft 1, but you can never be too careful.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

While we are on the subject of relationships.... Something happened to me at the weekend that felt like a bit of a LBM about how relationships are supposed to work.

My dad was here for the weekend. On Sunday afternoon he and I were sorting the garden out. I went into the house for some reason and got waylaid by children claiming to be starving. I made sandwiches for them, and one for me, and then I thought I'd make one for him. Rather than going out to ask him what he wanted, I guessed, and made it with some mature honey that he'd enjoyed at breakfast and commented on.

When I took it out to him, he thanked me, but said he'd been intending to eat up the pate for lunch. He cheerfully peeled the sandwich apart, folded the piece with all the honey on and ate it, and suggested I could put pate on the other bit for him, which I did. This was a major revelation to me: I guessed what he would like so as to surprise him, my guess was incorrect and he was able to say so in a way that didn't make me feel wrong or stupid or bad, but actually appreciated for the thought I'd put into thinking he might like the honey. This is so not how my attempts to make nice surprises for LNE were usually received. If I shared my life with a man like that, I would be able to plan surprises for him without feeling scared of getting it wrong.

This is all probably terribly basic stuff to those of you with happy marriages, but it was all new to me. I don't know why it should have so surprised me - my parents were always like that with each other when I was growing up, and I was like that with things LNE did for me, and still am when my kids do things for me. Perhaps I'm just a very very slow learner.

I dinot think you are a slow learner. I think in thiis context all the other junk of relationships is not included.

Fwiw, its something dh is very good at and i am very bad at, so we have different solutions. Dh loves little surprises, he greats all things in life with enthusiasm, so he gets them, i prefer to feel more in control. So dh says...what do you want on your sandwich. Ironically, now the pressure to be thrilled and grateful for surprises is off, i am now enjoying them more......and grateful for them. Having a partner who realised this was hard for me allowed him the tools to do what i would like, and is giving me the tools to be less of a jerk. Incidentally, thats only a wee bit less, i expect to get half way before pegging it.


Edit: i also think you have immense capacity to be a great partner again, and to be well loved in return. I can see why atm with circumstances things might feel difficult, but you are doing what you need to do, and in itself that may be laying the foundations for the future.

chewmylegoff

Doozergirl wrote: »

That's quite a lot of house in Hagley. I love big kitchens like that too.

Originally Posted by JonnyBravo
Agreed. Nice gaff doozer.
Have started looking around at houses recently. Will probably want to move in a couple of years (or 5) and it takes me that long to get clear in my mind what I want. Then negotiate with the Mrs.
Bigger kitchen/diner on the back of the house is on the list. But bit bigger than yours if poss! :eek:
Have seen this one
http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-...-33559768.html
and think it's the right size.
House is a semi though. So off the list.


You find the house, I'll make the kitchen. You pay for it.

That's about 2/3 miles from where I grew up.

And just to add to my previous comment. £500k for a 5 bed house in Hagley? Christ on a bike!

I think my parents flogged their 5 bed detached up a quiet cul de sac in oldswinford for £250k about 3 years ago.

That said, I would probably rather pay £500k for the one in Hagley.

JonnyBravo

chewmylegoff wrote: »

That's about 2/3 miles from where I grew up.

And just to add to my previous comment. £500k for a 5 bed house in Hagley? Christ on a bike!

I think my parents flogged their 5 bed detached up a quiet cul de sac in oldswinford for £250k about 3 years ago.

That said, I would probably rather pay £500k for the one in Hagley.

To be fair it's bit too far north for me. Bit too near to Brum and a bit too far from Worcs.

vivatifosi

chewmylegoff wrote: »

I'm 6ft 1, but you can never be too careful.

Do leave it out George, you're 5ft 11.