Nice people thread part 5 - nicely does it

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

This thread is getting very :eek:

All I'd really want, is someone who treats me with respect & dignity.
Anything else is a bonus...

I am like a banker...the bonus is part of the deal.


Seriously, i think it pays to be flexible, but it helps if there are few niggles inthe relationship. Iw puld rather be happy alone than gritting my teeth about something.

I amd not perfect, and neither is dh, (he doesn't argue enough, maybe thats why i like it so much here:D). Thats probably only about a tenth of the stuff i evaluate on.


I didn't put tall, which i always used to think was a must, but dh isn't tall. I didn't put handsome...i think most people have beautiful features somewhere, and ultimately not so important. Fat fingers how ever, are a total turn off for me, so its on the no list. It would have to be a very [STRIKE]rich[/STRIKE] special person to make me look past fat fingers for a physical relationship.

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

I am like a banker...the bonus is part of the deal.


Seriously, i think it pays to be flexible, but it helps if there are few niggles inthe relationship. Iw puld rather be happy alone than gritting my teeth about something.

I amd not perfect, and neither is dh, (he doesn't argue enough, maybe thats why i like it so much here:D). Thats probably only about a tenth of the stuff i evaluate on.


I didn't put tall, which i always used to think was a must, but dh isn't tall. I didn't put handsome...i think most people have beautiful features somewhere, and ultimately not so important. Fat fingers how ever, are a total turn off for me, so its on the no list. It would have to be a very [STRIKE]rich[/STRIKE] special person to make me look past fat fingers for a physical relationship.

Ah, but the grass is always greener...Being alone is one of the hardest things in the world imo.

I think that too frequently, we are too unwilling to admit our own faults, our shortcomings, our childishness. We have ideals about how we like to percieve ourselves, about how we'd like to be and to behave, but it is so easy for us not to meet those high standards (and also justify those failings to ourselves). Yet we don't accept these in others. I suspect that is why, after time too many couples become more confrontational than they'd like to accept that they are towards each other.

I'd love to get a partner who is wealthy, healthy, drop dead gorgeous, turns heads everytime they walk in a room, generous, witty, funny, great company. But I don't meet all that criteria, so can I really expect that from someone towards me?

lemonjelly

Doozergirl wrote: »

I have such a bad memory!

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=43007782&postcount=5071

I remember you not really liking posh restaurants. The lunch menu here is cheaper than the a la carte and I do love it.
http://www.russellsofbroadway.co.uk/restaurant/food-and-wine/

But in Broadway itself there are loads of places, in fact, I just looked at the menu at The Swan and the light lunch is exactly the same as the Victoria in Barnt Green for some reason and that was great value for money and really tasty. We've been there twice this month for lunch, so if the Swan is the same, then I'd heartily recommend the food there too.
http://www.theswanbroadway.co.uk/food/

I'd sign up for their newsletter as they sent me a voucher for a free glass of wine which was valid for two weeks when I did. Very MSE

It's such a pretty part of the world, you'll enjoy it whatever you do.

Thanks for the links & the previous post doozer!
Voucher saved to desktop for printing...:cool:

Now, fingers crossed the weather changes!:eek:

Wheezy_2

lemonjelly wrote: »

I'd love to get a partner who is wealthy, healthy, drop dead gorgeous, turns heads everytime they walk in a room, generous, witty, funny, great company.

Sorry jelly, I'm taken

lemonjelly

Wheezy wrote: »

Sorry jelly, I'm taken

....with hair....rules you out then wheezy...:D

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

Ah, but the grass is always greener...Being alone is one of the hardest things in the world imo.

I think that too frequently, we are too unwilling to admit our own faults, our shortcomings, our childishness. We have ideals about how we like to percieve ourselves, about how we'd like to be and to behave, but it is so easy for us not to meet those high standards (and also justify those failings to ourselves). Yet we don't accept these in others. I suspect that is why, after time too many couples become more confrontational than they'd like to accept that they are towards each other.

I'd love to get a partner who is wealthy, healthy, drop dead gorgeous, turns heads everytime they walk in a room, generous, witty, funny, great company. But I don't meet all that criteria, so can I really expect that from someone towards me?

But this clearly isn't always the case, otherwise i, with the longest list:o wouldn't be happily married!

I often think it helps to meet someone while you are young, while you are less set in your ways. Other things i think have helped in my relation ship include, flat sharing (-and probably boarding)...living with people who do not love you, and learning to give and take and live with people with different priorities and seondly Living with a pillock, taught me to appreiate living with a decent person. primarily, dh being a virtual saint makes everything work.

Edit, re grass greener, no, not for me. I am in a relationship happier than i ever dared hope i would be in. But i know from the past, that there are thiongs i cannot live with. Otherwise i would still be living with my first live in partner, and i am not!

michaels

You see that is where I would disagree - I think anyone who is blessed with the type of looks that mean they don't have to try will most likely be suffering a personality defect being unable to empathise and will often be unable to love any one else as much as they love themselves. So sorry all you super-attractive nice people but you just aren't my type.

lemonjelly wrote: »

I'd love to get a partner who is wealthy, healthy, drop dead gorgeous, turns heads everytime they walk in a room, generous, witty, funny, great company. But I don't meet all that criteria, so can I really expect that from someone towards me?

There is also my inverted snobbery thing cutting in - if I am with someone very attractive I would be concerned that others might think I was only with them to show off what I could achieve and that would imply that I care what others think of me which obviously I don't as that has nothing to do with my happiness.

lostinrates

michaels wrote: »

You see that is where I would disagree - I think anyone who is blessed with the type of looks that mean they don't have to try will most likely be suffering a personality defect being unable to empathise and will often be unable to love any one else as much as they love themselves. So sorry all you super-attractive nice people but you just aren't my type.



There is also my inverted snobbery thing cutting in - if I am with someone very attractive I would be concerned that others might think I was only with them to show off what I could achieve and that would imply that I care what others think of me which obviously I don't as that has nothing to do with my happiness.

Fwiw, i agree very good looks can stunt one in other areas, which is sort of what i meant by things evening out in the end.....

A to y our second point, i think thats as short sighted as only being interested in very good looking people. Its as easy to love a rich man as a poor man imo.

Btw, there must be some pretty good looking genes in there, your children are so gorgeous.

LydiaJ

lemonjelly wrote: »

Ah, but the grass is always greener...Being alone is one of the hardest things in the world imo.

I think that too frequently, we are too unwilling to admit our own faults, our shortcomings, our childishness. We have ideals about how we like to percieve ourselves, about how we'd like to be and to behave, but it is so easy for us not to meet those high standards (and also justify those failings to ourselves). Yet we don't accept these in others. I suspect that is why, after time too many couples become more confrontational than they'd like to accept that they are towards each other.

I'd love to get a partner who is wealthy, healthy, drop dead gorgeous, turns heads everytime they walk in a room, generous, witty, funny, great company. But I don't meet all that criteria, so can I really expect that from someone towards me?

I agree with a lot of that. I would love to be with someone who is kind, truthful, responsible, growth-oriented, positive-minded, smiley, grateful and spiritually passionate (although that last one won't make most people's lists, I know). I am working on becoming increasingly all those things myself, in the hope that it will help me to attract such a man if I ever meet one who's not taken already, or alternatively enrich my single life anyway if I don't meet one.

Being alone is very hard - I am lonely myself, because although my kids mean that there are other human beings in the house, they are also a major restriction on my freedom to go anywhere and do anything. However, I am 100% certain that being single is better than being in a marriage with a partner who belittles you, dislikes you, sleeps with someone else and lies to you. I would love to get married again, but I'd rather stay single than settle for a relationship that was heading in the same direction as my previous one.

silvercar

A friend who is still single says her criteria has changed from "own hair" to "own teeth".