Claiming DLA and Esa

colpol1

This is getting ridiculous, now I am being accused of being a troll.

What do I need to do to prove I am not? Do you want me to print screen my boyfriends email account to show you how hard he looks for jobs, do you want to come and get on the tram with him every week to watch him go to a work centre? Do you want to come and sit with me and see how hard I find everything?

Think what you like.

mazza111

Colpol - I didn't mean to suggest he was. For all we know he could be hunting hard for work or he could be a layabout, I just said I wasn't in a position to judge him as I don't know him.

Unfortunately on a board like this there are always going to be cynical people, you have to take the rough remarks with the smooth I'm afraid.

I hope you have taken all on board when seeking help

Maz

bestpud

colpol1 wrote: »

This is getting ridiculous, now I am being accused of being a troll.

What do I need to do to prove I am not? Do you want me to print screen my boyfriends email account to show you how hard he looks for jobs, do you want to come and get on the tram with him every week to watch him go to a work centre? Do you want to come and sit with me and see how hard I find everything?

Think what you like.

Is he doing all his job hunting online?

What work is he looking for? After 3 years of unemployment, it may be worth him seeking some voluntary work to show he can be reliable etc...

colpol1

bestpud wrote: »

Is he doing all his job hunting online?

What work is he looking for? After 3 years of unemployment, it may be worth him seeking some voluntary work to show he can be reliable etc...

A lot of it is done online but not all of it, he does go in and ask, hand out CVS ect..and he has done plenty of voluntary.

Muttleythefrog

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It is very difficult to feel a great deal of sympathy for someone who has been ill for 3 years and in all that time has never consulted a doctor about it. The fact that it's mental illness makes no difference; you wouldn't walk round with a broken leg for 3 years!

There's not so much stigma associated with a broken leg. I walked around for 2 decades plus with MI... I was convinced I could deal with it (you know.. like by working).. unfortunately it has just built up layer on layer until that became impossible. Needless to say, a broken leg would be readily diagnosed, treated and forgotten about... not quite the same with MH problems is it. I very much doubt you'd wait a couple years to get diagnosed, be accused of being a liar and be constantly lied about if you went to a GP saying you think you broke your leg falling down the stairs. Having experienced the response to consulting a doctor and what has ensued I'm now convinced I made a mistake in only waiting 20 odd years.... I understand you have had significantly better outcome and experience.

Oldernotwiser

Muttleythefrog wrote: »

There's not so much stigma associated with a broken leg. I walked around for 2 decades plus with MI... I was convinced I could deal with it.. unfortunately it has just built up layer on layer until that became impossible. Needless to say, a broken leg would be readily diagnosed, treated and forgotten about... not quite the same with MH problems is it. Having experienced the response to consulting a doctor and what has ensued I'm now convinced I made a mistake in only waiting 20 odd years.... I understand you have had significantly better outcome and experience.

We're all different. I sought help for stress/depression as soon as I was aware that I was suffering from it, although I didn't go round telling everybody, anymore than I would have any personal medical condition.

There really isn't much stigma attached to suffering from depression and stress these days.

Muttleythefrog

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

We're all different. I sought help for stress/depression as soon as I was aware that I was suffering from it, although I didn't go round telling everybody, anymore than I would have any personal medical condition.

There really isn't much stigma attached to suffering from depression and stress these days.

That's the point... we are all different. You sought help... I preferred to think I could deal with it. For 20 odd years I did deal with it and made every effort to conceal problems. The idea that someone wouldn't seek help for a period of years with MH problems is going to be common... in fact some conditions themselves make it much more likely than would be normally expected.... like myself... let me quote directly from psychiatric report. 'I do feel Mr X meets the criteria for Schizoid PD. I explained to him that it is rare for people with this condition to present in clinical setting. I therefore spent some time trying to evaluate why indeed he had presented to the medical profession for help in 2009.'

As for stigma... I'm not so sure... I think things are improving generally speaking... but let's not kid ourselves that an employer or person in the pub is going to react similarly to you saying you've suffered lifelong depression as they would I broke my leg playing football once. The way I've been treated by various medical professionals has truly shocked me... and I'm hard to shock..lol... but one common theme was the lack of desire to diagnose.. and there's good reason underpinning that.

More widely speaking, seeking medical help isn't something many people do by default. Women generally seem to feel more comfortable doing so and there are explanations out there as to why that might be. But even for simple but serious physical problems I've seem family members wait until circumstances were intolerable before seeking medical help. That might sound strange or silly to you and demand social judgement... but not everyone screams like a baby for help when they are in difficulty... and not everyone trusts the medical profession.

Oldernotwiser

Muttleythefrog wrote: »

That's the point... we are all different. You sought help... I preferred to think I could deal with it. For 20 odd years I did deal with it and made every effort to conceal problems. The idea that someone wouldn't seek help for a period of years with MH problems is going to be common... in fact some conditions themselves make it much more likely than would be normally expected.... like myself... let me quote directly from psychiatric report. 'I do feel Mr X meets the criteria for Schizoid PD. I explained to him that it is rare for people with this condition to present in clinical setting. I therefore spent some time trying to evaluate why indeed he had presented to the medical profession for help in 2009.'

As for stigma... I'm not so sure... I think things are improving generally speaking... but let's not kid ourselves that an employer or person in the pub is going to react similarly to you saying you've suffered lifelong depression as they would I broke my leg playing football once. The way I've been treated by various medical professionals has truly shocked me... and I'm hard to shock..lol... but one common theme was the lack of desire to diagnose.. and there's good reason underpinning that.

More widely speaking, seeking medical help isn't something many people do by default. Women generally seem to feel more comfortable doing so and there are explanations out there as to why that might be. But even for simple but serious physical problems I've seem family members wait until circumstances were intolerable before seeking medical help. That might sound strange or silly to you and demand social judgement... but not everyone screams like a baby for help when they are in difficulty... and not everyone trusts the medical profession.

So do you really think that someone should be able to claim benefits for a medical condition (whether mental or physical) that they have made no attempt to seek treatment for?

As far as employers go, I had no problem at all getting several jobs (both public and private sector, professional and clerical levels) a few years after taking ill health retirement on the grounds of depression. I've also had many clients who returned to work without too much difficulty after treatment and recovery.

Believe me, there really is far less stigma attached to mental illness these days than you seem to think, fortunately.

mazza111

They won't be able to claim until seeing a doctor. That's why she came here for advice.

sarahg1969

mazza111 wrote: »

I didn't seek medical advice when I was suffering from it. Ostrich syndrome. Until my old mam gave me a short sharp shock and told me what was what, and made an appointment for me to see the doctor and dragged me up there, I couldn't even tell the doctor, just sat in tears, but I'm still glad she did it :T

I think that's different. You refused to acknowledge any illness at all. The OP has self-diagnosed and is researching obtaining benefits, and yet has sought no treatment whatsoever.

Hopefully, the OP will see her GP, who can offer some treatment, and get the OP back on her feet. The longer she refuses to accept help, the harder it will be for her.