What would you think?

kazmc

minnie123 wrote: »

Who said anything about damaging property? have I missed something??

I have had a similar feeling before with an ex no reason but something just felt wrong - I then found out he had slept with someone else.

I'm not saying you BF has done that but just saying instincts are normally spot on (for me anyway).

I also don't agree with whoever said you normally ring an ex when drunk to have a rant - I would say the reason for ringing an ex when drunk is naughty reasons. I would probably call the taxi firm and question them and then question him. So what if you looked at his phone, he didn't answer you had a bad feeling and you did actually find something so you deserve an explanation.

Have to say I agree with this....
I had that feeling and confronted him only to find out he was having an affair and was leaving me........ the night before I went into labour with our 'planned' baby!! I could have put my instincts down to pregnancy hormones but I just somehow 'knew'.
Its not the first time my instincts have been right either....
Have it out with him.. at least then you know.

FattyBettyBoo

Women should always trust their intuition - its the advantage we have over men!! I had a 'feeling' that something wasn't right that I couldn't put into words or define in anyway. It lasted for a few days until the point when I got home from work and found all his stuff gone. Still can't work out what it was that made me feel that way - i just knew. We have evolved as a species to pick up on clues and changes that dont make it to our consciousness.

mumto2loves

could you... next time you are with him, put your phone somewhere (down the sofa/ under a magazine) out of sight. Ask him for his phone to ring yours (so you can find where yours is). Then while you've got it for a legitimate reason go to call history (because thats sooo much easier then dialling your own number) and THEN notice the ex's numbers on the list and ask him why her phoned her?:whistle:

I must admit i wouldn't like it at all.

I also believe in 'the feeling'.

brokenlily

mumto2loves wrote: »

could you... next time you are with him, put your phone somewhere (down the sofa/ under a magazine) out of sight. Ask him for his phone to ring yours (so you can find where yours is). Then while you've got it for a legitimate reason go to call history (because thats sooo much easier then dialling your own number) and THEN notice the ex's numbers on the list and ask him why her phoned her?:whistle:

I must admit i wouldn't like it at all.

I also believe in 'the feeling'.

I was thinking of doing this, and just needed a way I could do it "legit" if you know what I mean....

I was so upset last night....I ended up going round to his house really late! I am having problems with anxiety at the moment anyway, so I just don't know how much of it is that and how much of it is really something being wrong. A family friend also said something mean to me over the weekend about my relationships not lasting and how I can't hold on to men and I think that's mostly what set me off on this track, this family friend also said something about "while the cat's away" and said to me that it's what men do when their OH's are away - get drunk and look for someone to pull. So, I started worrying that's what my BF was doing, got worked up over it, and paranoid, checked his phone and now I have found something.

I asked him again did anything happen over the weekend, said to please tell me the truth because if anything did happen it's likely to come out anyway and I'd rather know now than later. He said I was worrying for nothing, that all he did was get p1ssed with the lads and there were no women involved. His explanation for Sunday was that he was out of it all day after having been out drinking 2 nights in a row. I said it had looked like he was avoiding me, and my mind jumped to the conclusion that he was avoiding speaking to me because he had done something while drunk the night before.

I am not sure I'll ever know why he called her that night....I'll accept that calling one number might have been an accident, but calling both her numbers looks like he was trying deliberately to get hold of her.

Errata

I was thinking of doing this, and just needed a way I could do it "legit" if you know what I mean....

The only legitimate way of doing it is to ask him to let you look through his phone. Any other way demonstrates very clearly you have no respect for him

minnie123

I think you have just got to ask him outright otherwise it will keep playing on your mind.

C_Mababejive

Why sneak around like this? If you cant trust him,end the relationship. you know it makes sense.

sportbeth

I would agree that women's intuition counts for a lot in this instance. There's not much you can do to prove things in this situation but keep a close eye on any distant behaviour in the next few weeks, if he has cheated then he will undoubtedly be wrestling with his conscience for a while.

If you do get suspicious then keep checking. My ex cheated on me countless times before I finally left him earlier this year. if you can have a look at his PC history, if he's onto the ex the chances are he's been looking her up on Facebook, you can find this out from the history.

dont feel guilty for having suspicions or for checking for your own peace of mind. I battled for ages to finally catch my soon to be ex husband out and in the end I was proven right. I'm not saying that all men are the same, but my ex was extremely convincing that he was the loveliest guy in the world and ultimately he treated me like a mug..... until I left him earlier this year in my own good time.

krlyr

Trust goes both ways. He may not be telling you about the calls to the ex, but you're not telling him that you know about them either. Why is it OK for you to lie/not tell the truth but not OK for him to keep quiet, when nothing may have come of it?
I remember (or don't remember) getting so drunk with some housemates (some seriously strong mojitos, followed by finishing off the rum neat!) that I could have called everyone in my phonebook and not remembered it. Luckily, my drunken self seems to have some self-preservation and all that was on my phone was some texts to a friend (that made hardly any sense, whoops) but I have no recollection of sending them. Lots of us have done it, he may have been reminiscing, he may have wanted to rant at her or rub his relationship with you in her face, or he may have just remembered that he left one of his CDs are hers and decided it was a brilliant idea to demand she return it right that minute, you don't know. I know it can be hard to trust a guy when you've been cheated on but you have to make that decision to have some faith, otherwise what is the point of the relationship? If you're going to start doubting his every move then is it worth the stress? You could ruin your relationship by obsessing over this, or you could let it slide, decide to trust him and have a great relationship once you learn to move past what your exes have done. Or maybe he could cheat on you, but you can't sit there on the edge of your seat waiting for it to happen, you just have to have faith that it won't.

loracan1

What's he like with his phone in general? Does he keep it by him or in a pocket or does he put it down anywhere and leave it? Is he protective about it? If not and it's just this weekend when he's not been able to either hold his drink and made an ill-judged phonecall that hasn't even been answered I don't think there's much to worry about.