When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

lostinrates

I am finding this really interesting, but I am really interested most in the extended breast feeding. Earlier in the thread some who have chosen it or researched it said its not going to go on past I think they said seventh, or six. I do find the idea of a school age child breast feeding alien to me, and I have chosen that terminology specifically not to make a value judgement.

If for some reason it was unexpectedly longer than mothers had prepared for, is there a time at which they would feel there was a cut off for them?

Nicki

blabberwort wrote: »

I didnt mean express milk at the time of the child wanting a feed.

I didn't think you did. But what would a toddler be doing while you pumped away in the mother and baby room, even if he wasn;t hungry? Mine would be climbing all the walls within a few minutes, and even if kept strapped in his pushchair would be screaming his head off with boredom after 5, and he is an extremely good natured child. Mother and baby rooms are small, smelly and very boring places for a young child. Having to produce the milk while the child was hungry just adds a whole new level of difficulty to your proposal.

thatgirlsam

Lady_Tara wrote: »

Gosh this is fascinating to read – some strong opinions around.:o

Going completely off original topic - can I just say that psychologically it isn't a "choice" for some of us. I was abandoned at birth, so bottle fed myself from day 1, then as a teenager suffered a serious sexual assault. I would say both of those experiences have affected my mental health badly, and a bit of counselling had absolutely no effect in making things better. When I was pregnant 15 years ago (with a much wanted baby) there was no way I could even begin to consider breast feeding as I have such screwed up ideas about maternal relationships/bodies... I made it very clear from the beginning I wouldn't even consider trying breast feeding, and luckily - even though the maternity nurses had no idea of my background - I was not made to feel like I'd failed at all for not even trying.

I'm not sure what my point is, except to say, by looking at me you wouldn't think I'd have any particularly strong reasons for not trying, but there can be hugely complex reasons behind people's decisions.

Please don't shout at me!

Lady Tara I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through all of that

Unfortunatley lots of things happen to women that shouldn't and the results can last a lifetime

poet123

bylromarha wrote: »

I didn't think propaganda - I thought the reality is that parents who choose to breastfeed until 2 years and beyond have social factors going on that affect these results and would skew them. The breastfeeding alone cannot be taken in isolation at all.

I remember here on MSE years ago a parent asked me, in my capacity as a reception teacher, if I could tell whether a child had been breastfed or not due to their ability on entering school. Was shocked I was even asked!

Sadly, I am not, the way these phrases are bandied about as fact it is little wonder some woman think it is as simple as breastfeeding for six months to raise an Einstein!!

lostinrates

HariboJunkie wrote: »

You are giving examples of sexual activity and defecation as natural human actions, which they are, but breastfeeding equates to neither of those. It is simply a child drinking and I have never actually seen a woman expose her breast while feeding anyway. I didn't ever expose my flesh in public even though I fed both together.

I don't see nudity, one of the examples, as sexual at all. We often choose to be naked at home, and in a small extended social situation but not sexually. E.g. Nudist beaches/swimming. Just because we prefer to be naked I also recognise that there are places it is acceptable to be naked, e.g. Nudist beach, and others where it is not, e.g. Oxford street. Similarly, how we behave might be different with clothes on. I don't personally equate breast feeding the same as either, but on a scale, closer to nudism than public sex! Similarly, going to the loo is natural, but it would seem odder to me to see people forced to feed in loos than in the seated area of a cafe/ restaurant themselves having a drink or chat.

It's interesting, because it shows how we feel differently, I do not see adult nudity as sexual or necessarily inappropriate in certain places, but accept in some situations while natural and no. Sexual it is also inappropriate.

blabberwort

Nicki wrote: »

I didn't think you did. But what would a toddler be doing while you pumped away in the mother and baby room, even if he wasn;t hungry? Mine would be climbing all the walls within a few minutes, and even if kept strapped in his pushchair would be screaming his head off with boredom after 5, and he is an extremely good natured child. Mother and baby rooms are small, smelly and very boring places for a young child. Having to produce the milk while the child was hungry just adds a whole new level of difficulty to your proposal.

Boredom can apply to any child in any situation. Of course it can be difficult sometimes to be entertaining a child while you are trying to do something else, but as I say this can apply pretty much anywhere. I would have assumed that like many parents you would make as many preperations in the event, something to keep them busy while your doing what you need to do. Car/train/bus journeys can all be factors for children but as a parent I guess you think ahead and plan for this. Why is expressing milk with a child in tow any different?

As for expressing milk while your child is hungry, you surely wouldnt be expressing it. You would be bf your child in an appropriate place for their age wouldnt you?

poet123

Gingham_R wrote: »

LOL Indeed.

When people are comparing a woman without the ability to buy mass produced milk to a woman being raped, it isn't really worth joining in any more.

How is forcing a woman to breastfeed by removing her choice any different from any other forced act against a woman's body? I'll grant you it is emotive, that doesn't make it incorrect. Duress is never acceptable however it is presented.

shirlgirl2004

poet123 wrote: »

Propaganda from the NCT;) which is not actually borne out by the evidence obtained from studies.

The WHO compiled a report which looked at a number of studies and concluded that there are long term benefits.


"Reviewers’ conclusions: The available evidence suggests that breastfeeding may have long-term

benefits. Subjects who were breastfed experienced lower mean blood pressure and total cholesterol,
as well as higher performance in intelligence tests. Furthermore, the prevalence of overweight/obesity
and type-2 diabetes was lower among breastfed subjects. All effects were statistically significant, but

for some outcomes their magnitude was relatively modest."

kathleenryd

I bfed each of my 4 children till they weaned themselves - from 20 months to 2 years -ish. Depends on what you call 'breast feeding' - the breast can go on providing a 'comfort' , a snack, or whatever as long as mother and child are healthy and happy. It definitely helps get your figure back - why would you not do it? Best for you and baby.

RubySewSew wrote: »

I'm going to support and back up what some of the other forum users have already said.

The World Health Organisation and Department of Health recommend that a baby is breastfed exclusively for a minimum of 6 months and that breastmilk is included in the diet for a minimum of 2 years. The key word here from the evidence based perspective is minimum because all the evidence of benefits of breastfeeding (reduced allergies, gastrointestinal problems, reduced female cancers for mothers, reduced diabetes, lower rates of obesity etc) can be demonstrated by extended breastfeeding.

The global average age for weaning is 4.

A child cannot breastfeed beyond about 8 years as the structure of the mouth changes so they can no longer manipulate the breast.

As late as the 2nd World War mothers would go to the school at breaktimes to breastfeed 5 year olds as breastmilk is perfectly formed nutrition and completely free.

More than 80% of women give up breastfeeding before they want to because of lack of support.

I find it desperately sad that choice of feeding method seems to cause so much guilt and upset for so many women. As a society we need to be working on supporting mothers to make an informed choice based on all of the available evidence and then to support that choice so that they feel empowered in their parenting choices. If it is normal for you and your child then there is nothing weird about it. And I can't advocate strongly enough the need to comfort children. Breastfeeding produces a hormone called oxytocin which is a bonding hormone and helps your child to feel comforted, loved, soothed and reassured. It also increases emotional intelligence. If a mother wants to prolong this relationship then she should not be criticised or judged for doing so. Nature has dealt with the cut off age for breastfeeding so perhaps we should trust that and allow mothers to nurture and nourish their children in the way they see fit and extend our concern to the children and families who genuinely need help and intervention to raise healthy, happy children.

thatgirlsam

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

The WHO compiled a report which looked at a number of studies and concluded that there are long term benefits.


"Reviewers’ conclusions: The available evidence suggests that breastfeeding may have long-term

benefits. Subjects who were breastfed experienced lower mean blood pressure and total cholesterol,
as well as higher performance in intelligence tests. Furthermore, the prevalence of overweight/obesity
and type-2 diabetes was lower among breastfed subjects. All effects were statistically significant, but

for some outcomes their magnitude was relatively modest."

They say 'may'

I do beleive there are health benefits personally, but showing that conclusion doesn't prove anything I'm afraid