When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

poet123

Gingham_R wrote: »

Yes, it happens but it's not a huge issue. The issue is a basic one. What other bodily function do we leave to big business other than this one? And why? Whatever reasons we think we have for any choices we make, there are bigger forces at work, shaping our view of the world.

Edit - you may never have met someone who said they decided not to b/f because they thought it would be too hard but you've probably met/read countless anecdotes from people who said they'd 'try' to breastfeed. The implication is there - I might not be able to do this. This might be difficult.

Could the implication not be that they may not like it, or it may not suit their lifestyle? Why is it assumed that "with help" all mothers will do it, many do not want to do it, so the help is superflous.

Gingham_R wrote: »

It can be difficult and I didn't imply otherwise. However, we are a nation who assume we maybe can't before it's even begun. Why? In my opinion it's because we see more babies with bottles than on the breast and it has slowly become (thanks to big business) something 'other'.

Again, "can't" seems the only valid reason and so you assume that is why so many babies are bottlefed. The implication is that those who don't want to bf are misguided and that everyone should do it if they can. If we see more bottle fed babies than breastfed babies (actually I disagree that we do) but if we do, can those mothers not just have made a choice after considering the options and simply want to bottle feed? Why do those who breastfeed feel the opposite choice is made with difficulties in mind?

blabberwort

Gingham_R wrote: »

Fair post, although I don't agree.

Maybe my opinion is different to yours because my first son took his first steps at 8 months old - having only 2 months of solid food to work with so still having mostly milk.

Like his teeth coming in at 11 weeks, the cut offs that other people declare useful just seemed ridiculous to me. Should my capable 10 month old toddler stop feeding but the 10 month old baby that hasn't learned to sit yet carry on?

Is there a particular age that is relevant, or a developmental stage?

Forgive the pun not intentional but that is certainly food for thought, and quite honestly not something I had considered before. However I guess my quick response ( this is obviously without thinking to much into it at this particular moment in time) then development must obviously play a large part I guess, as I still think once able to hold a cup then there are other options to ensuring the child still recieves breast milk other than directly from the breast.

However there will still always have to come a point where it is not acceptable to watch a mother bf her child in public regardless of developmental stages. Lets be honest here, most children ( and I mean most not all) will have learned to pick up and use a cup by the age of 3 ( this having read from early in the thread seems to be deemed still an acceptable age to be bf by some posters) so there is no need to bf. As I mentioned before there are ways around ensuring your child gets breastmilk without the need for having to actually bf them. Also there are so many mother and baby rooms nowadays that there really is no reason why women need to bf toddlers in full view of all and sundry.

Years ago when bf mothers werent catered for I understand far more but with everything available nowadays to aid bf women there really is no necessity to public bf.

FatVonD

blabberwort wrote: »

Women who bottle feed have to do the things you described so i see no difference personally.

Er, because it's not necessary if you're breastfeeding.

blabberwort wrote: »

If a woman really has concerns about expressing milk because of it going off then go to a private area, such as mother and baby room and express your milk there when out and about.

Why on earth would they need to express milk in the mother and baby room to feed to a baby that's in the same room with them??

blabberwort

FatVonD wrote: »

Er, because it's not necessary if you're breastfeeding.

True it's not necessary when bf directly, however I thought we were talking about children being bf for their benefits not for the mothers. Also it would be necessary in the scenario we were both discussing, which was giving breastmilk but not directly to the child, instead by expressing.

FatVonD wrote: »

Why on earth would they need to express milk in the mother and baby room to feed to a baby that's in the same room with them??

There are instances, such as being on a day trip where you know theres a mother and baby room available buut you may not be in that particular vicinity again for several hours. ( I knew there was a reason I wrote what I did, though you did make me doubt myself for a split second :P )

I do wish you wouldnt keep trying to put words into my mouth. I thought we were discussing bf toddlers/older children, not babies. I have no problem with women bf babies discreetly in public at all.

Gingham_R

Poet, I think you need to have another look at my posts as that isn't what I'm saying.

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

Could the implication not be that they may not like it, or it may not suit their lifestyle? Why is it assumed that "with help" all mothers will do it, many do not want to do it, so the help is superflous.



Again, "can't" seems the only valid reason and so you assume that is why so many babies are bottlefed. The implication is that those who don't want to bf are misguided and that everyone should do it if they can. If we see more bottle fed babies than breastfed babies (actually I disagree that we do) but if we do, can those mothers not just have made a choice after considering the options and simply want to bottle feed? Why do those who breastfeed feel the opposite choice is made with difficulties in mind?

Hmm, lots of things about having a baby are awkward, or don't fit in with certain 'lifestyles' but are just accepted as part of having a baby and they must be done.

If you don't want to change nappies, tough you still have to. If you don't want to get up in the middle of the night, tough you still have to. If you don't want to use a car seat, tough you still have to.

thatgirlsam

Person_one wrote: »

Hmm, lots of things about having a baby are awkward, or don't fit in with certain 'lifestyles' but are just accepted as part of having a baby and they must be done.

If you don't want to change nappies, tough you still have to. If you don't want to get up in the middle of the night, tough you still have to. If you don't want to use a car seat, tough you still have to.

So you really beleive that women should 'have to' breastfeed?

I usually agree 100% with everything you say P-1.. I am shocked that you think like this!

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

Hmm, lots of things about having a baby are awkward, or don't fit in with certain 'lifestyles' but are just accepted as part of having a baby and they must be done.

If you don't want to change nappies, tough you still have to. If you don't want to get up in the middle of the night, tough you still have to. If you don't want to use a car seat, tough you still have to.

None of those things involve the use of your body, and one of them is the law, so your point is?

There is no must about breastfeeding.

poet123

Gingham_R wrote: »

Poet, I think you need to have another look at my posts as that isn't what I'm saying.

No, I know it isn't what you are saying as you have stated directly that you believe in choice, but I do think the inference could be drawn that you believe that there is a significant number of those who choose not to breastfeed who do so because they expect to find it hard.

I think a lot of woman never actually consider doing it because they know it isn't for them. No angst, just a straightforward decision.

I am equally sure that many who try breastfeeding and don't manage it may do so with help, and also that many who want to continue and can't feel upset about it.

Nicki

blabberwort wrote: »

There are instances, such as being on a day trip where you know theres a mother and baby room available buut you may not be in that particular vicinity again for several hours. ( I knew there was a reason I wrote what I did, though you did make me doubt myself for a split second :P )

Crikey! I didn't do extended breastfeeding, but I did breastfeed (and so have expressed milk) and I currently have a child of the age being dicussed.

I can categorically say that there is no way I would be able to keep him calm and occupied for 20 to 30 minutes in a small mother and baby room, while I expressed milk with a pump, and the stress involved in trying to do so would ensure that no milk would be produced anyway!

So back in the real world, how should mothers manage the situation then?