When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

poet123

As I said, breast may be nutritionally best for short term gain, but long term the gain cannot be quantified or shown to be better than formula. Nor can it be said to be overall the best choice, many other factors come into play for the individuals when ascertaining that.

Therefore, those who choose to bottlefeed should not be castigated or waxed lyrical to about the joys of breastfeeding as if they are somehow lesser mothers, who are missing out. Feeding a baby is wonderful be it by bottle or breast. It annoys me that those who made their choice should seek to impose that choice on others or denigrate their choice either by misplaced sympathy or annoyance.

Lotus-eater

meritaten wrote: »

It also annoys me that a lot of young women these days think that breastfeeding is 'too complicated' or 'it sounds hard to do'! so they dont even attempt it! and these women are missing out on so much!

Is this anecdotal evidence or what though?

I've never even come across anyone who said or thought like that...... well apart from other people talking about people they know, on here and online literature.

I've never met one who spoke like that and neither has my OH. Nor met or seen one on a forum.

poet123

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Is this anecdotal evidence or what though?

I've never even come across anyone who said or thought like that...... well apart from other people talking about people they know, on here and online literature.

I've never met one who spoke like that and neither has my OH. Nor met or seen one on a forum.

Nor have I, but it is easier to think that when you personally cannot imagine not wanting to do it, easier than accepting that as much as you did, many don't. Easier than accepting they make this choice without guilt or angst, just as they made the choice to breastfeed. Easier but patronising and condescending, perhaps unintentionally.

Buttonmoons

I always feel a bit when you see people posting (on here anyways) that they are a terrible parent because they had to give up breastfeeding/couldn't. It's only a very small part of raising a child, and it's not detrimental (IMO) to have to give forumla. Its a very small part of their lives, and its food at the end of the day. By the time they have all their teeth, they'll be eating some crap at least anyways.

I didnt BF, but that was due to contracting infections and almost dying in hospital, but I was intending to try it (but couldnt incase baby caught infection + my mum was a bit weird about me doing it and lived with her at the time, although was going to ignore her) but I just accepted it, my plans had changed, Id just have to sterilise bottles.

I don't think hammering on about BF'ing, is very beneficial too new mums, especially since they are at an emotional stage anyways.

Some midwives are proper scary about it.

Gingham_R

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Is this anecdotal evidence or what though?

I've never even come across anyone who said or thought like that...... well apart from other people talking about people they know, on here and online literature.

I've never met one who spoke like that and neither has my OH. Nor met or seen one on a forum.

Yes, it happens but it's not a huge issue. The issue is a basic one. What other bodily function do we leave to big business other than this one? And why? Whatever reasons we think we have for any choices we make, there are bigger forces at work, shaping our view of the world.

Edit - you may never have met someone who said they decided not to b/f because they thought it would be too hard but you've probably met/read countless anecdotes from people who said they'd 'try' to breastfeed. The implication is there - I might not be able to do this. This might be difficult.

barbiedoll

That's the problem, isn't it? We set women up to fail by referring to "breast-feeding classes", like it's a topic such as physics that can only be learned if you're "taught" by a specialist. Or asking women..."are you going to try to breastfeed?", or telling them.."you'll be able to get help with feeding in the hospital" etc etc. It's as though it's no longer a normal, natural thing to do but a difficult, tricky task that every woman will automatically need help with.

I mean...learning to walk and talk are hard but no-one offers classes for those skills, do they?

DevilsAdvocate1

pinkclouds wrote: »

Before formula milk was invented, you would either pay for a wet-nurse (if available) or you would attempt some sort of immediate weaning and/or dry-weaning (straight on to solids). If you couldn't engage a wet-nurse then your child would probably die. Actually, it would die.

Can you imagine living in a world where formula milk didn't exist?? Can you picture a long line of tiny coffins?

Cor talk about trying to make people feel guilty!

But anyway, this is not strictly true. My mum is 82 years old now. Her mum was very ill after her birth and could not look after her. A neighbour took her in and gave her some form of milk (think it could have been condensed milk but not sure). It was not formula. Anyway, she did not end up in a tiny coffin and she had this milk pretty much from birth. Her mum never recovered and died.

blabberwort

I havent read the entire thread so forgive me if im repeating what others have said (though it's doubtful as im probably in the minority of people who have my opinion lol).

While I have no problem with women bf babies in public, I do not get the need to bf toddlers. I find it odd that a toddler perfectly capable of holding a cup cannot drink expressed milk rather than bf. If you choose to bf an older child then fine, but please dont expect everyone to want to see you do it in public. Not all women find it endearing and it shouldnt be forced on people to have to view. Babies being bf is absaloutely fine imo, but bf a toddler perfectly able to hold a cup is just unecessary and im not sure what extra benefit this holds for the child other than comfort. Which quite frankly if you cant comfort your own toddler without the need of a breast then surely something is wrong.

I appreciate I sound harsh, and it's not intentional. I just do not see the benefit to bf children longer than is necessary when expressing is just as good. Obviously to a point ( I mean you dont want your 21 year old child nipping in on his way home to get his expressed milk :P )

Gingham_R

Someone told me that about bf babies who have teeth too. My eldest cut his first teeth at 11 weeks old and drank water from an ordinary cup at 7 months old, perfectly capably.

In my opinion these are arbitrary cut off points. Little ones need milk. That's all.

Lotus-eater

barbiedoll wrote: »

I mean...learning to walk and talk are hard but no-one offers classes for those skills, do they?

Well no, because everyone knows how to do it.

Gingham_R wrote: »

Edit - you may never have met someone who said they decided not to b/f because they thought it would be too hard but you've probably met/read countless anecdotes from people who said they'd 'try' to breastfeed. The implication is there - I might not be able to do this. This might be difficult.

To be fair it can be difficult.

My OH went through hell on her first time BF and I was with her holding her hand. Despite all the talk of help, there was very little when we needed it, we had to go through 3 doctors before we got one who would take us seriously.
There was very little understanding of the problems you could get.

Don't think it's as easy as lifting up the baby and bam, for everyone.