When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

Gingham_R

Person_one wrote: »

Exactly.

I'm imagining a world where formula had never become a commercial product but a medical one, much like tube feed for adults who can't eat, or like glasses for people who can't see without them.

Like eating and seeing, we'd consider breastfeeding so absolutely normal and 'status quo' that it would never occur to anyone to choose not to do it, but for the women and babies that can't, there is a suitable alternative in formula, and an appropriate one can be prescribed. Sounds fantastic.

I do think that if you deliberately have a child, you owe it to them to do your best for them, AGREED so not even attempting to breastfeed at all and deciding on formula while the kid's still in the womb, well, I just don't understand it.I understand it I have every sympathy for woman who try and struggle, or who can't breastfeed for medical reasons, but in my world there is help first and an alternative second for them.

We all want to do the best for our children, whether we breast feed or not. Our best MAY be bottle feeding because we feel shame at exposing our breasts in public. It may be bottle feeding because we worry that we can't breast feed or worry that our relationship with our husband will change. It may be that the women worries that she can't see/measure/check the milk and finds that lack of control frightening.

Some women don't do their best for their babies. I would NEVER put a bottle feeding mother in that camp just because she chose to bottle feed.

Pro breastfeeding info is SO important to redress the balance after years of manipulation by bottle milk companies and the social media. But not like this. Not by suggesting that bottle feeding mums are substandard.

Person_one

Gingham_R wrote: »

We all want to do the best for our children, whether we breast feed or not. Our best MAY be bottle feeding because we feel shame at exposing our breasts in public. It may be bottle feeding because we worry that we can't breast feed or worry that our relationship with our husband will change. It may be that the women worries that she can't see/measure/check the milk and finds that lack of control frightening.

If things had panned out like I wish they had, none of those would be an issue.

Perhaps there should be classes/counselling/sessions etc. for these parents (both parents) if that sort of thing is affecting their decisions before the baby is even born.

POPPYOSCAR

All this debate got me thinking that I do not know anything about formula milk as I just wanted to breastfeed and never considered anything else.Just my personal choice, making no judgements.

I have now looked up the history of formula milk as I wondered just what was used before it was invented and just why it was invented. I found it very interesting reading.

poet123

There are a lot of issues where counselling is appropriate, choosing not to breast feed is not one of them unless that choice is borne out of a deep seated psychological issue such as abuse, body image etc. The majority of women make a simple, angst free, choice when they decide on their method of feeding. To imply that there is something wrong with them if they choose to bottle feed is ignorant, patronising, and wholly incorrect, and at odds with the civilised notion of the right of a woman to choose how her own body is used.

Apply this logic to other female issues and the slope does become slippery.

bylromarha

Gingham_R wrote: »

We all want to do the best for our children, whether we breast feed or not. Our best MAY be bottle feeding because we feel shame at exposing our breasts in public. It may be bottle feeding because we worry that we can't breast feed or worry that our relationship with our husband will change. It may be that the women worries that she can't see/measure/check the milk and finds that lack of control frightening.

Some women don't do their best for their babies. I would NEVER put a bottle feeding mother in that camp just because she chose to bottle feed.

Pro breastfeeding info is SO important to redress the balance after years of manipulation by bottle milk companies and the social media. But not like this. Not by suggesting that bottle feeding mums are substandard.

Very well said Gingham :T

I too get frustrated at the implication that parents who choose to bottle feed from birth are not doing the best for their babies. There are far too many factors for this to be black and white.

bylromarha

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I have now looked up the history of formula milk as I wondered just what was used before it was invented and just why it was invented. I found it very interesting reading.

Paying a whet nurse meant rich parents have had the choice to breastfeed or not since time began.

Can you imagine a lactation friendly tudor undercorset + dress being on display in the royal court?! :rotfl:

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

There are a lot of issues where counselling is appropriate, choosing not to breast feed is not one of them unless that choice is borne out of a deep seated psychological issue such as abuse, body image etc. The majority of women make a simple, angst free, choice when they decide on their method of feeding. To imply that there is something wrong with them if they choose to bottle feed is ignorant, patronising, and wholly incorrect, and at odds with the civilised notion of the right of a woman to choose how her own body is used.

Apply this logic to other female issues and the slope does become slippery.

I would say shame, marital issues caused by the use of breasts for their natural function and control issues are certainly worthy of a bit of counselling.

Look, the world is the way it is, and formula is now a commercial product, decades (a century?) of cultural influences mean that formula has become a polarising choice, rather than a solution to a problem, so its now fraught with all sorts of issues when really it should be very very simple.

Trust me, I never judge women who bottlefeed, they don't live in a vacuum and there are all sorts of reasons why they do it, but I think its silly that we can't have a frank discussion and be honest about the fact that breastfeeding is indeed better for the baby (and the mother) if its possible.

Person_one

bylromarha wrote: »

Paying a whet nurse meant rich parents have had the choice to breastfeed or not since time began.

Can you imagine a lactation friendly tudor undercorset + dress being on display in the royal court?! :rotfl:

Poor parents who couldn't pay a wet nurse but struggled to breastfeed, or had infectious illnesses, or were malnourished themselves, just ended up with dead or sick babies though. That's the point of formula, backup!

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

I would say shame, marital issues caused by the use of breasts for their natural function and control issues are certainly worthy of a bit of counselling.

Look, the world is the way it is, and formula is now a commercial product, decades (a century?) of cultural influences mean that formula has become a polarising choice, rather than a solution to a problem, so its now fraught with all sorts of issues when really it should be very very simple.

Trust me, I never judge women who bottlefeed, they don't live in a vacuum and there are all sorts of reasons why they do it, but I think its silly that we can't have a frank discussion and be honest about the fact that breastfeeding is indeed better for the baby (and the mother) if its possible.

Your posts are very judgemental and assumptive towards the adult choices a mother makes. Why confer upon them an angst? Do you speak from experience? Personal or familial? What issues are you speaking about when you say it is "fraught"?

As I said there may be short term gains but the evidence is not there to support the contention of long term benefits.

Debate is all very well but when that debate takes the form of breast is best, formula inferior, breastfeeding means you are a better mother and care more for your child etc, etc, it ceases to to be debate and becomes empty rhetoric. Which is what we have here.

POPPYOSCAR

bylromarha wrote: »

Paying a whet nurse meant rich parents have had the choice to breastfeed or not since time began.

Can you imagine a lactation friendly tudor undercorset + dress being on display in the royal court?! :rotfl:

I really do not know why, but the thought of someone else feeding my child in this way does not appeal to me to say the least!!