When does extended breastfeeding become weird....

meritaten

Lotus-eater wrote: »

But no one has objected and no one is objecting.

Isn't it crazy that you are looking to find someone who objects to it in principle?
Because there doesn't seem to be anyone.

well actually Lotus-eater - you DID object to it! most strongly! If I remember it rightly - your OHs breasts were YOUR playthings! and you wanted them returned to you!

Lotus-eater

Where can you find my post where I objected to it?

I said the way I felt, that I felt undeniably a bit jealous and I was glad when they were back wholly as mine. But objection, no.
I even said I had absolutely no problem with breast feeding at all. Just older kids weirded me out.

skintchick

Lotus-eater wrote: »

But no one has objected and no one is objecting.

Isn't it crazy that you are looking to find someone who objects to it in principle?
Because there doesn't seem to be anyone.

I was very specifically responding to the post I quoted in which the poster said that!

You seem to be looking for a fight.

skintchick

Here you go, it was this one, in case you can;t be bothered to read back.

jojo_2012 wrote: »

no...no you are not.

Nice reading through this that nobody objects to breastfeeding in principle. Makes me feel a bit better about the baby I'm about to have in the next 2 weeks :eek:

It clearly had occurred to Jojo that someone might 'object in principle'and it was to that comment I responded.

Apology?

poet123

Lotus-eater wrote: »

But no one has objected and no one is objecting.

Isn't it crazy that you are looking to find someone who objects to it in principle?
Because there doesn't seem to be anyone.

I suspect you couldn't say that was true about bottle feeding though, many people seem to be able to voice a negative opinion of that without fear of the same condemnation.

faerie_girl

Breastfeed for as long as you are happy to... don't worry about other people.
I HATE the term 'extended breastfeeding' there is nothing extended about it, it normal term / full term bfing.
DS has just turned 3 and nurses in the morning and evening or if he is ill. I am happy to let him self wean. I'm 34 weeks pregnant with our second child so we shall see how things go with tandem nursing. I just think I'll take every day as it comes.

bylromarha

skintchick wrote: »

As someone has already said, that's only in the first few weeks/months. Once breastfeeding is established and the milk supply has settled down, there is no leakage.

Not true.

My boobs leaked during sex 90% of the time whether OH touched them or not. Was not pleasant for either of us. I had wet breast pads every day for 2 years when I fed my 2 and had 3 replacement sets of lilypadz as they stopped working on me after a month of use.

Leakage doesn't stop for everyone after the first few months as you claim.

DevilsAdvocate1

Gillyx wrote: »

Women get this guilt because people bang on and on about breast feeding being better. Yes it probably is, but for people who cannot for whatever reason how does that make them feel?

There was a thread recently where a new mother just could not come to peace with the fact her premature son was lacking the ability to latch on, and was blaming herself and feeling a "failure" and that she couldn't give her son the best start in life, despite the fact she was trying so hard. She knew breast was best and that's what was causing the guilt.

It all comes down to choice, if people don't want to breast feed or can't they shouldn't be made to feel inadequate or looked down upon, as it is their body, their child, their choice.

I really hope to breast feed my son when he's born, but I've come to terms with the fact it doesn't happen instantly for everyone and if I had to resort to formula I know how crap it would make me feel, and people thinking I was "crazy" for doing it would only reinforce that point even further.

I'm not sure about the norm, as out of my 2 friends who have given birth recently one has bottle fed, one has breast fed. The one who breast fed had to give it up for the best part as she was back at work and university when her baby was 12 weeks old, she just didn't have the time to express, so her milk dried up for most feeds, she has continued with the feed before bed though.

Whether it's norm or not, it comes down to choice for most mothers and I don't think the draconian attitude and sheer pressure put on by some midwives helps the situation at all.

I don't think that guilt comes from pressure put on women to breastfeed. It comes from not having the choice of how to feed. Many women want to breastfeed but end up stopping long before they were ready to stop and its these women who feel guilty. Yet often, when you hear the mum explain her story, it is obvious to those who have breastfed that the problems the mum encountered could have been sorted out if she had been given skilled breastfeeding support. Instead, the mum is told that she must switch to formula, usually her breasts are blamed (as in "you don't have enough milk" or "your milk is of poor quality") and then she is told to not feel guilty - !!!!!!?

It would be better all round if that mum was given skilled help so that the problems are overcome. Then she can make a true choice as to when to stop. When people are comfortable with their decisions they are not going to feel defensive or guilty.

A couple of my close friends decided not to try breastfeeding at all and gave bottles from day 1. They never sound defensive or say that they feel guilty. All the mums I know who feel guilty stopped breastfeeding before they wanted to do it.

DevilsAdvocate1

bylromarha wrote: »

Not true.

My boobs leaked during sex 90% of the time whether OH touched them or not. Was not pleasant for either of us. I had wet breast pads every day for 2 years when I fed my 2 and had 3 replacement sets of lilypadz as they stopped working on me after a month of use.

Leakage doesn't stop for everyone after the first few months as you claim.

My SIL did not breastfeed any of her 3 children. After her youngest was born she leaked massively for 2 years even though she did not put any of her children to the breast. I breastfed all of mine and did not need to use any breastpads and I never leaked, not even when my milk came in.

Her mum used to donate lots of breastmilk to the local hospital and apparently always had far too much milk!

Lotus-eater

skintchick wrote: »

I was very specifically responding to the post I quoted in which the poster said that!

You seem to be looking for a fight.

Hardly, there are several people on here who seem to want to aggressively promote BF, so much that they seem to be trying to find a party to fight about it. I was merely pointing out the reality.