Only child

jollymummy

Don't worry ClaireEmily my son is an only and perfectly happy, he does a few after school clubs and loves Cubs. I make sure he sees friends during school holidays and he spends time on holidays with his cousin who is an only and the same age - 6.
I'm one of 3 and we aren't close at all and rarely see each other tbh.
If you give your child lots of opportunities to mix, it's great. It's easy for us to pack up and go camping or for days out with one, we can afford school clubs, little treats etc even though we haven't much spare cash.
The other plus point is Grandma and Grandad are happy to have a onesie stay over night, whereas all my sisters 3 kids were a bit too much for them

kafkathecat

Person_one wrote: »

I had a sibling and I'm pretty self reliant, live alone and am comfortable in my own company.

Everybody is different, its impossible to say that having or not having siblings is the thing that made you who you are.

Exactly Person one you can't generalise, but people generalise about only children all the time. I have heard good friends make all the ususal only child comments to other people in front of me and then say 'oh but your ds isn't like that'. People say 'Oh I didn't know your dh was an only child because he doesn't/isn't...'
Or they will say 'That's because he doesn't have siblings.' to any behaviour or achievment they have noted. I once had a woman shout at me on the telephone for being so cruel as to only have one. I was a middle child and hated it but I don't go spouting off at others because every family is different all work in different ways.

[Deleted User]

Hello ClareEmily,

Don't believe the myths! Having siblings is not 'all that'. I have a sister and have never got on with her, which has driven my mum insane through the years. We (now aged 27 and 25) argue whenever we are in each other's company and I grew up dispising her and wishing I was an only child. My OH on the other hand is an only child and THE most well-adjusted person I have ever met, hands down. He had a wonderful childhood, a great relationship with his parents and other family members and tells me he did not feel alone growing up. I envy his upbringing a little and many of the difficulties I have had are the result of my relationship with my sister. I urge you not to listen to people who tell you your son will be lonely, this is unlikely to be the case. Welcome his friends and make sure he doesn't spend too much time alone growing up. And if anyone pressurises you to 'give him a friend' say that your son is all you need and you are all he needs, which is true

plumtreebabe

I too have an only child - my first at 39 after two years of trying, and then told to wait 2 years after the caesarean, which then meant four years of trying and nothing happened so we stopped trying. We have just got her a dog, which gives her an extra body for company when she's curled up watching a film, and a good excuse to go out in all weathers and get some exercise! She is a happy child, but does sometimes complain about not having anyone to play with, but that's more to do with living in a country village where at the moment there are far more boys than girls for some reason! My main anxiety is when she's grown up - I lost my parents in my thirties and having my brother made a big difference, it was sharing memories more than anything as we don't even see each other once a year we live so far away. We don't live close to any family, so she only sees grandparents and cousins when we go visiting in the holidays. I am also anxious for her to make close friends and always have an open home and friends to visit, plus Brownies etc.

dibuzz

Molly41 wrote: »

I have posted the same reply before on a similar thread so forgive me for repeating myself.
I am an only child and was desperately lonely as a child and now an adult with elderly and eccentric parents. I remember praying for a sibling but it was not to be.

I cant say what it will be like for your child. I made a conscious decision to have more than one child and had 4 children. My kids hate being apart and really miss each other so for me it has been the best decision, despite the financial strains and ongoing issues that parenting 4 children bring.

Your call entirely and you have to do what you think is right for your family.

I had to check the username then to see if I'd posted in my sleep.
Being an only child for me was a very lonely experience as my parents wouldn't allow me any freedom at all, to this day I have no friends and struggle to deal with people.