Only child

barbiedoll

My DS is an only child and I always seem to have other kids round at my house. He would have liked a sibling but we just never had the room/money, plus we're older parents and I didn't want to be one of those mums who is mistaken for a granny at the school gates

My son has always coped ok with being on his own, he plays quite happily by himself, he has a great imagination and has always mixed well with kids at school. He's only a titch and my husband used to worry terribly that he'd be bullied but, touch wood, he's always been fine. My husband always played "rough stuff" with him, as he had no siblings to fight with, he wanted him to be able to "handle himself" as he put it. He's inherited my big gob though, so although he's generally a fairly placid kid, he can mouth off with the best of them!

The advent of the "multi-player" games means that even when he's on his games console alone, he's playing with other kids. In some ways, he's more grown-up than some of his peers because of hanging around with adults all the time, but in others, he's quite immature because he's the "baby" of the family. He seems quite well-grounded and happy at the moment, although he's coming up to the dreaded teenage years so I guess it will all change sooner or later! Lots of families now have only one child, so it's becoming more and more common, lots of his friends are only children too.

PuppyLove_2

Im 28 now and also an only child!

I never missed not having any brothers or sisters, in fact all my friends were always over at my house to get away from their annoying siblings! My house was always the one with the sleepovers after a night out etc which my mum always encouraged!

Im lucky as i have a really close group of girlfriends, we have all been friends since school so ive never felt lonely. The only downside is that sometimes i do worry about something happening to my mum and dad and me being left on my own.

Oh and also i always got much more for xmas and birthdays than my friends whos parents had to pay out for their other kids! Me....spoilt....NO!

LandyAndy

I'm an only child. I don't recall ever being lonely as a child. I certainly never wished I had a sibling.

Don't confuse lonely with sometimes being bored or 'at a loose end'.

thebaileys

My son is 6 now, and also very likely he will be an only child, due to me having 2 miscarriages, the last one being very traumatic.

It took me around 3 years to conceive, and I don't think I am strong enough to cope with another loss.

My son is a very happy 6 year old, I took him to various toddler groups from a young age, and he mixes very well.

At home he has a great imagination, and plays 'schools' setting his teddies up as pupils. He never says he is lonely, and I often have his cousins over to play.

I do worry a lot about him being lonely,as I am one of three, and my partner is one of four.

He did once ask if I could adopt him a sister who was the same age as him, as baby's distract him!

CATS

Hi ClaireEmily,

My son is also an only child and as I do not want more children, will remain so. He is now 12 and very happy, sociable and loving. We have devoted our lives to him going everywhere and doing everything with him, inlcuding the huge roller coasters at theme parks, which terrify me I do allow friends over whenever he wants and provide food, entertainment for them. I often take 10-15 children to the theme parks, bowling etc for his birthdays, I always have children around my house and dragging along during days out. Sometimes I do feel guilty about my choice but when I ask him he always says he is happy. I have 2 cats and a rabbit for him, both me and husband get on the trampoline with him and play computer games etc. So we do dedicate our live to him to compensate for him being an only child. Saying that I have a brother who I love dearly but I only see during special occassion, same for husband and he has 3 brothers. I guess what I am saying is that if you spend time with him when he is little and growing up he should be fine. One thing I am guilty of, which I am working on is giving him everything he wants, be careful with this, it is so easy to do when you have one child, at least for me it is. I am now trying to teach him responsibility I also always emphasize the sharing aspect, did not want him growing up selfish and not being able to share. Also for me, having only one child means I have really been able to concentrate on him and learn everything about him fully and have a fantastic relationship with him.

kafkathecat

Dh is an only child as is ds now 14. Dh had a much happier childhood than I did (one of four). In my family there were a lot of issues around favouritism which I did not want to pass on to another generation. Ds has never wanted siblings, especially when he was younger and all his friends fought with their siblings constantly.
As I knew he would be an only child getting out and socialising was always a priority and still is. He has a great group of friends some of which he has known since he was a toddler.
None of the only children I know, adult or child, is lonely or selfish; I think these things come more from parenting than whether or not you have siblings.

quietheart

All the only children I know are very happy, sociable well adjusted kids. They are often much better with adults than kids with siblings as they spend more time with them whereas siblings tend to go off with each other.
Your child has a secure family, that's more important than anything else.
I have lots of adult friends who are from 2 child families and the competitiveness between them and the feelings of suspected parental favouritism are soul destroying and have had a huge effect on them.
Just carry on with what you are doing, try not to fret, it's slightly different to the average 2 child family but it doesn't make it any better or any worse.
Enjoy!

Molly41

I have posted the same reply before on a similar thread so forgive me for repeating myself.
I am an only child and was desperately lonely as a child and now an adult with elderly and eccentric parents. I remember praying for a sibling but it was not to be.

I cant say what it will be like for your child. I made a conscious decision to have more than one child and had 4 children. My kids hate being apart and really miss each other so for me it has been the best decision, despite the financial strains and ongoing issues that parenting 4 children bring.

Your call entirely and you have to do what you think is right for your family.

**Juice**

I'm an only child too and from an early age spent a lot of time around people - adults other than my parents and other kids - I was a ridiculously chatty and friendly child. And I think I turned out ok :rotfl: The only thing is that sometimes I like spending time on my own and get a bit overwhelmed if there's loads of people around all the time but tbh I don't think that's solely an only child thing.

StaffieTerrier

I'm an only and I can honestly say I've never been lonely not having siblings. If anything my childhood has given me the strength to be happy with my own company and not reliant on others to keep me entertained. I did have a friend when I was little that was also an only child and we used to see each other most days. We're still very close and refer to each other as brother and sister. I also spent a lot of time with the children of my parents friends.

My parents encouraged me to make friends and have friends over for tea, etc. They also got me involved with regular sport and because they didn't have other siblings to worry about they got involved too. It was great and I managed to get to the level of representing my country in my chosen sport. I doubt that would have happened if I'd have had siblings.

You've a fabulous chance to do things with your child that may not be possible if you had more children. Seize the opportunity to give your son a childhood to remember (it'll also give you some fabulous memories).