How to help someone.

missindecisive

what a shame for the children, clearly they are living in squalor and eating take-aways as there is no where to cook or prepare a meal for the mess.
At a quick stab in the air, I would say that one or both parents are depressed and have no motivation to improve their situation. I have seen this in real life with a family close to me...the house was always a pigsty. Now the couple are divorced and living seperately, both have their own homes which are kept clean & tidy...weird!
And yes...you would probably be wasting your time if you offered to help...but you must offer, if only for the children. They will probably decline, make out you are interfereing, but at least you will have offered.

Ravenlady_2

Quick question.

Do they have a car?
Are they limited to 1 wheelie bin of rubbish per fortnight?
Can you get them extra stickers for their excess rubbish so binmen will take more away?

I am limited to 1 bin per fortnight, the change came in a week after i moved house and was left living in carp and rubbish until the council relented and gave me 2! stickers so the binmen would take 2 more black bags of junk.
In the end it took 4 van loads to go to the tip as I had to downsize rather quickly and stop hoarding and a police warning to my neighbours to stop dumping their rubbish in my garden.

Money_maker

merlin68 wrote: »

and the kids are just playing amongst piles of junk. she's also talking about having no 6. I don't think she can use the kitchen to be fair, there's no where you could prepare meals. It's all full of rubbish and washing.

Can I ask you what you mean by junk? Are you talking an overload of clothes, dirty crockery and toys? In other words, things that can be sorted out, put away and organised? This type of scenario is tends to be where it can be sorted out but I would take a guess that upstairs is worse and there is no where to store these items.

If you are talking real junk - such as every item ever received in the post, cardboard boxes, packaging, bits and pieces that are not toys nor seem to have a purpose then the problem is bigger and it's unlikely that you will be able to resolve it. In these cases, even a huge sweep will result in an identical scenario a few months down the line (as some posters have experienced above).

VfM4meplse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

My posts were purely factual and not judgemental in any way.

Mine opinion wasn't, but now is.

richardvc wrote: »

The OP asked for advice on how to help them not whether or not they should get benefits.

Re-reading the OP, I am annoyed that these people choose to spend their benefits on keeping pets when that money is there to support their family. It's a luxury that many people can't afford, and this couple seem to be unable to look after children or pets with the financial help they receive.

bestpud

Some people are tidier than others by nature. My house often looks a tip in comparison to others but we are all healthy and I wouldn't say my child needs to be taken into care.

I do think there is a difference between mess and dirt though!

If you feel the conditions are a risk to their health then I think you need to do something.

I'd ask them if they feel in a rut and would like some practical help to get out of it. I imagine it is fairly easy for a family to become despondent and quickly overwhelmed if they have nothing outside of the home.

You could then look at options depending on what they say.