MOOLOO'S continuing saga Part 4

Savvy_sewing

Well they slipped through the net in a way. They chose to leave home 3 years ago now I think it must have been. They were eventually given thier own housing. After the hostel, they went thier seperate ways. First twin 1 was given a place in a Supporting living place with her baby. They didnt think she was coping and the Social were called in. DGD was brought to me. Mum couldnt stay in the home so they had her moved. She was supposed to be in assisted accommodation, which was the little house. But the assistance was non existant. Cuts etc I suppose.
She was moved to a bigger flat in October. The only assistance is a Bromford Support worker who is there supposidly to help her with her finances and to keep her in her own home.
Twin2 was later in getting out of the hostel. By then having the second child. She was given the house she is now in, there was her and her partner and the two boys. The Social put an order on the father of the baby to stay away as someone in the hostel said he was abusing the elder boy. So Twin2 was left on her own in a new house without her partner. She turned to an ex boyfriend who moved in after a while, and he was only there about a week when the Social Services removed the boys. Under the Neglect side of things. He stayed with her for a while but left last March I think it was. Couldnt cope with the hassle they got. Is it any wonder!.
So she was left all on her own.
I have been against them living on thier own, from the beginning but I was told that I couldnt stop them from leaving home, etc as it was against thier human rights. As it was when they were young vunerable teenagers and I wanted to get them on the pill. So that we didnt have these problems. I did ask them whos human rights would it be against if the twins ended up pregnant, but of course they didnt respond to that one.
So here we are two years down the line, nearly 2 1/2, and they are on thier own, both at opposite ends of the same town, 12 miles away from me. Neither wants to give up thier homes of course.
I dont think I would survive if they were living at home. ALthough it would not be possible here as I am in a small 3 bed council house.
I would need a huge place again, and I cannot go through all that again. Its just too much for me.
I have asked, till I am blue in the face.
Now I suppose I must get tougher.
I just dont seem to have the energy to raise all the issues in a letter of complaint to the Council. Where would I start?
What is the most important issue?
Who would believe all the problems that I have had to deal with.
Its not a very usual case is it. There are so many things to cope with.
Today I am not coping very well.
Time to do the dinner. be back when DGD is sorted.

*Robin*

Hi Mooloo,
Have you thought of getting in touch with Rosa Monkton?

http://www.rosamonckton.com/index.php/home/

grandma247

Mooloo wrote: »

They have arranged for an officer from the twins areato come and see me and to see what they can do to help. The conscensous is that they could at least befriend and drop in on the twins regularly, so that the girls can gain the trust but also that if it is known that they have the police checking up on them perhaps these people will disappear a bit more. The persistant ones we wll have to see what they come up with. Lets hope that we can start to have some sort of positive response.
.

This is a good idea.

My bil age 62 was abused by a young man and he regularly had to hand over money to him and was beaten by him more than once, he even broke his arm and made him tell the hospital he had fallen down the steps.
We knew nothing of this because he lives a long way from us and he did not visit for quite a while, each time making a plausible excuse as to why he could not come. He has the mental age of 12/14 years.
His landlord suspected something serious was wrong and eventually dragged it out of him and called the police. The young man was prosecuted and the police are still in contact with bil 2 years on. They just keep a friendly eye on him. He has not had a social worker for many many years.
Quite honestly I think the whole social worker system should be scrapped and started afresh. Far too many people are suffering and no one who is in a position to do something about it gives a d@mn.

Savvy_sewing

grandma247 wrote: »

This is a good idea.

My bil age 62 was abused by a young man and he regularly had to hand over money to him and was beaten by him more than once, he even broke his arm and made him tell the hospital he had fallen down the steps.
We knew nothing of this because he lives a long way from us and he did not visit for quite a while, each time making a plausible excuse as to why he could not come. He has the mental age of 12/14 years.
His landlord suspected something serious was wrong and eventually dragged it out of him and called the police. The young man was prosecuted and the police are still in contact with bil 2 years on. They just keep a friendly eye on him. He has not had a social worker for many many years.
Quite honestly I think the whole social worker system should be scrapped and started afresh. Far too many people are suffering and no one who is in a position to do something about it gives a d@mn.

Oh Grandma, what a terrible thing to have been happening. Must admit it is a fear of mine later on in life when I am not about. I just hope that things will improve.!

I went to babysit this morning for DGD2 and forgot to check that they were going to work. So I got there and of course they had the day off! So had a cuppa with them and a chat before DGD and I came home via the Petrol Station.
I was on the red light, having got 407 miles out of my tank, which was a good amount for the car. It cost me exactly £57 to fill up today. But this is an extra fillup after my trip to Bristol. So I must try and cut down my travel for the rest of this month or I will be way way over my budget for petrol.

Am still quite sore today. Have to go and collect twin1 later for her time with dGD1. Correction she has just text she is ready so I will go and get her in a minute. It will hopefully allow me to get on with the ironing etc before I see BF later tonight.
He is coming here straight from work which is starting to make a change.

"dont let the Bar stewards grind you down" has to be the motto for me for today.! Onwards and upwards doesnt always help me.:rotfl:

Savvy_sewing

*Robin* wrote: »

Hi Mooloo,
Have you thought of getting in touch with Rosa Monkton?

http://www.rosamonckton.com/index.php/home/

Thanks, didnt know about this one.
Have quickly signed her online petition for a start, and will come back and read it etc more thoroughly.
Thanks again.:T

grandma247

Mooloo I did not write that to frighten you but to show you that having the police around is not such a bad idea.

Savvy_sewing

Well the policeman came to visit me today. He said that the girls were already known to him and a community support officer. He said that they are having a meeting on Tuesday with the Bromford Support Workers, and housing about the girls situations and the comings and goings etc are well known to them. But that they are limited to what they can do if the twins dont let them know the problems, or if they say there is no trouble. I told him as much as I could about the situation from my prospective too.
He said that they were aware of a 15year old staying at twin2's and that they were not happy that Soical Services had decided to leave her there, but that they were bringing this up at the meeting planned on Tuesday as well. The comings and goings from the two homes have become an issue.
He will get back intouch with me and keep me informed with what is possible. That he hoped now that they would be able to use thier powers to lean on the other organisations/agencies and get the girls more help.
We can but hope.
I am worried, for the girls, for the outcome, for the problems that they were aware of and I wasnt. Its been quite a stressful afternoon really. The policeman was very nice, but there is only so much that they can do. He will look into the powers available to him, and the agencies that need to be leant on, adult social services, the housing and he was doing his best to reassure me that they were working to resolve and to help the girls. He wanted to know why they were living seperately, and why they were in Towcester and not anywhere else. But he has gone away armed with a bit more information to take to the meeting on Tuesday. All I can do now is hang on, and see what happens. I will have to summons up the energy to chase the Social from my end agan too.
I am weiry, with it all. How do some people cope with these things? I feel as it I am running on empty now. Can I pick up the pace again? I am going to have to, but dont see how I can at the moment.

I am not looking after dgd2 today, she is not too well, so the plans have changed.
BF is coming back over later, he has gone shopping to get his daughter a present for her Birthday. I am going to give her some of my creations, and a watch that I bought from Avon last month, for my present drawer.
DGD is playing on the floor with her bricks, but has been pestering me to distraction for hugs all afternoon. She is a case at times.
Spoken to both twins today. They are not happy, and dont want to move again, or share anywhere. But I have said that if they were to have a smaller flat each, somewhere away from these people then they really should be aware that it may be for the best for them. But of course it will go in one ear and out the other. Always does. Alas.

Errata

I'm very glad you had a good discussion with the police officer, but I'm concerned about this "But that they are limited to what they can do if the twins dont let them know the problems, or if they say there is no trouble". Abuse of vulnerable adults is a criminal matter not a 'little bit of bother'
The whole point is that both twins have LD and because of that won't always tell the police when a problem occurs, because they may not view it as a problem even though it is. For this reason they may also say there is no trouble when there is.
I think this is something that you need to make the police understand. People with a degree of LD don't view things in the same way as people who don't have LD do; and that's the basic reason that others find it easy to abuse them and get away with it.
HTH, enjoy the weekend and hope the baby starts to improve.

Seaxwyn

Hi Mooloo. It's a while since I read your thread and I'm sorry to hear that the troubles are continuing. I take my hat off to you coping with such a difficult situation. I really hope the police/social services/whoever can be a bit more proactive in helping your daughters and other vulnerable adults. I know that the cuts and ideological changes in social services are making a lot of things worse for adults with learning disabilities and their families. It makes me grateful for my 'run of the mill' family problems! Best of luck with it all and I'll try to read more often.

Savvy_sewing

Seaxwyn wrote: »

Hi Mooloo. It's a while since I read your thread and I'm sorry to hear that the troubles are continuing. I take my hat off to you coping with such a difficult situation. I really hope the police/social services/whoever can be a bit more proactive in helping your daughters and other vulnerable adults. I know that the cuts and ideological changes in social services are making a lot of things worse for adults with learning disabilities and their families. It makes me grateful for my 'run of the mill' family problems! Best of luck with it all and I'll try to read more often.

Hi agan,
Well I am sure that you have enough on your plate then having to try and follow me after 4 years!.

I will hope that the discussion that the Police and Housing etc will be having today at thier meeting will bring to light a few more things that they can possibly tap into to help the girls.
The Police officer wanted to know why the twins lived on thier own. Becuase they wanted too I suppose. I talked to them but they change thier minds about each other. Its very odd. They seem to see the faults in thier sister, but not in themselves!. Like the mess. They each say the other is worse then them!. They said to me that they would "kill each other" if they were to live together. I told them thats a bit how I felt at times! Not literally of course, just at the end of the teather with each other.
I am here in Oxford, brought the laptop, but havent fired it up until now.
Been sitting hand sewing some bags out of jeans while watching DGD play and the TV etc. Dont normally hand sew my bags, but it was something to do. Need to go home to get more fabric to line it though.
Gave his daughter some of my bags/purses etc along with a Watch for her birthday. She seemed to like them. She did ask if I had made them, and I said yes. Lets hope that she will use them and maybe at Uni we may get some interest in them.
Being away from the house has been relaxing. I have not heard from the twins but I have had a text from DS telling me that twin1 had gone out leaving the balcony doors unlocked, and he had climbed in that way! Always scares me that he may get arrested as it looks like he is breaking and entering thier own flat!. He was cross as he said thier stuff could have been stolen. (I thought well if people see you going in that way they may think about it!). I also thought what am I supposed to do about it? I did try to contact her for him but I didnt get a reply. Which is often the case as the phone is often on silent for some reason?
We bought some bolts in Wilko's yesterday. Hopefully they will be suitable to fix the ikea bed together then the bedroom for dGD will be finished. Just the bolts in the ceiling and the bed left. DGD loves the new room. She has started to play in it as well. Fingers crossed that she continues to keep it tidy!
I have a tip in her old room to sort out, and then turn it into my work room. Which I hope will then free up my bedroom abit more.
But it will probably take me a long time, as the bedroom did.!:(

Time to get off the laptop and see what we are going to do today.
Not sure if we are going home today or tomorrow. Came in my own car just incase. BF goes back to work Tomorrow.