MOOLOO'S continuing saga Part 4

Savvy_sewing

Morning. I have had a peaceful weekend, and enjoyed watching the sea lap the beach. It was cold and windy, but there was no snow in Bournemouth. Unfortunately I had a migraine which ruined some of the time, especially Saturday night, and its still lingering now. It started on Thursday, and got worse. But it didnt stop me having a wander along the clifftops, and then further down some of the beach and pier. We just took it slowly.
The snow had started to be in evidence around Winchester way, and progressively more was on the ground as we neared home.
DGD was good for her Grandad, and he will be in touch when he can work out the next time they have her for a visit. So not quite the once a month set date, which would help me to plan, but the fact that he had her and that he will again, is good.
I am tired as I havent slept well with the headaches, but relaxed. Which is what it was about.
I could have sat watching the waves for hours on end. Even though it was cold. There were people actually swimming in the sea yesterday.! they must have been mad.There was also one lonely surfer.
Time to get on and back into the real world.

minimoneysaver

I've missed not seeing on here as much recently and hearing your updates. Hope all is well with all of you! x

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

I've missed not seeing on here as much recently and hearing your updates. Hope all is well with all of you! x

I am still around, I am just trying hard not to spend all my time on the laptop, and be more proactive with the sewing.
Money wise things are about stable, I hope, so there isnt much to report. No doubt it will all change again, as it usually does.
I am just waiting for the bank transfers to work, and then I will be at more ease, but other then that, my task now is to declutter and get the rooms swapped around.
We have a new wardrobe for DGD's room now, and the paint, etc etc, and so I am going to push for my family to help get the loft boards down, move my sewing things up, and then move DGD into the bigger room.!
It will not be so easy to move around for a while, so the sewing will have to take a smaller space up, and I will have to be more organised with it all. Turn it into a stock take episode so I know where the fabrics etc are so I dont waste time searching. Thats not going to be a very quick or easy attempt.

Savvy_sewing

Dont look at the time!
So you did, yep. Its 4 something am!. I cannot sleep, been awake since 2.30 so decided to get up and take my mind off of the circles it was travelling in.
We have had some more hiccups in the family, with Biggest of Mooloo's partner deciding he doesnt want to get married, be in a relationship, etc etc. She found out yesterday morning. She is rather gutted to say the least. Then of course the panic mode at affording the house, going back to work ont he 20th part time, and the baby.etc. So I spent yesterday with her, and we did the www.entitledto.co.uk or what ever it is. and we worked out her budget. The first look scared us to death and she was around £8,000 a year short on the bills. But then when we found out the help it did reduce slightly, but I have told her to prioritise, which bills are essential, which debts are not, and the usual advice that I have experienced since everything went pear shaped for me all those years ago. Its no consolation to her, but at least its before the great expense of the wedding etc. I told her to keep the Wedding Fund going, but to change it to Emergency Fund. So we will still sell of my bits and bobs, and part will go in each of our funds. My fund is empty now after the car was serviced and so it would be good to help each other challenge each other to save, and to raise what extra funds we can. She has just started to do Avon in her village, so I hope that that will spur her on to be determind and not to be defeatist. Babies other Granny is worried she would not see her, but DD is not like that. She is still friends and will remain so if at all possible. We hope that that will be possible as she is supposed to be caring for DGD2 for 3 mornings a week, and I am supposed to be only doing 1 morning a week childcare. So it will be a bit of a logistical nightmare if she cannot help. Biggests budget doesnt stretch to childcare, even with the government help, as she has a couple of huge debts from being with her previous partner a few years ago. (Some of you will remember that he had a terrible car crash, and DD was keeping them going, and had maxed out on her credit card and raised a large loan to carry on living in the house that they had. Only for him to break it off, and end up with her best friend.) Although its all water under the bridge with the friendships, he has never been able to, or offered to help her pay off the debts and she is struggling. all of her maternity pay has been swallowed up in the repayments, and all of her wages will be too. So she is not going to be very well off for some years at all.
On the good side, she did have a PPI repayment come through the other day, so has immediately reduced the credit card by £1,000 to help reduce the interest being put on that one.
I have told her to go to CAB, and to write to these two large debts and see if she can get them reduced, extended or what ever it is that they can do these days. But to first and foremost make sure that the rent is paid, and the council tax. (with duely claimed benefits to help).
But it still seems rather impossible to her at the moment.
We will get through it all one way or another I am sure. But I cannot help her. I did remind her that I had already paid £900 towards her deposit, and £600 from the previous one, so there was no way that I was in a position to help out this time, if she has to move. She will need to move by the end of the tenancy, and look for something in the town rather then in a village away from everyone. She is too isolated in the village, and she has to have a car while living in the village.
There would be more of her friends and family around to help, socialise with etc, and all the necessary shops if she could move back to Towcester. But as she is on the tenancy with her partner, she will not be eligeable for help from the council to relocate. (So he better!).

anyway enough of the woes. Its just a fact of life these days. No commitment seems to be the order of the day. or is it just my family that is finding men that would rather run then work it out?
We must be bad at choosing our men thats all I can say!.
When I mentioned commitment to my BF in relationship to DD and her BF, he said Ouch! it was a bit close to home for him.! Speaks volumes really. But I am not travelling that road. I am letting him continue to "date" me and he is coming here most weekends and I am not having to take DGD back and forth to Oxford anymore. So he can make the effort now that he has tried, and it is already now becoming the normal for him to come to me. Costs me a bit more in food if I want to do something special, but other then that I havent really noticed the costs being an issue. Driving less has been a big boon for me though.
He is bringing the Wine this weekend, and to be fair has been bringing a bottle most weekends. Its just that i warned him I didnt have any, and was a bit broke this week.
DS is up in Scotland with his girlfriend. he did the 8hour journey on the bus on Wednesday. He text me yesterday to let me know he was safe and sound. Which was good of him, and must have been prompted by someone but never mind. (I appologise son if it was all your own thoughts!).
Twin2 is baring up reasonably well with the loss of the boys so far. She has her moments, but is now beginning to settle into talking to her councillor.
My councillor has helped open my eyes to some of the situations that stress me out, what I find enthusiastic. How things are affecting me etc etc. It is helping me be stronger and back to being mmore positive thats for sure. I fear that our sessions are to come to an end now. as it was an initial 6 weeks so our time is up next week. I hope it can continue for a bit longer, as I would like to have the full benefit of his insight and help, and feel that there is still a way to go. But it will depend on the presssures of the waiting list no doubt.
Right Its nearly 5am. I better try and get back to sleep before DGD wakes up, and tomorrow as the snow is all around we will probably not go and see her mum. We are already cancelling the dry run to Biggests for her work day, as its silly to get up at 6am and drive in the snow just to see if we can do it in the time allotted!!
Night/morning.

MatyMoo

Poor biggest, she must be so upset But it is better that he made this decision before the wedding.

Glad BF is making more of an effort to come to you.

I know that today will be tougher than normal because of the lack of sleep so I hope DGD is a good girl for you, be gentle with yourself.

Savvy_sewing

DGD was so excited about the snow that she had me back up at 6.45! alas even though I had gone back to bed by 5am, I wasnt asleep until quite a while later, and had some very strange dreams.
Oh well, I will try and get into the garden and build the snowman etc. In a little while. She is itching to get out there. Actually asking to get dressed, which is usually a battle. Just so she can go outside. So I am stalling, for a little while yet as I dont think the neighbours will be too thrilled at screeching kids waking them up.!
I personally dont like the snow, but I cannot really let that show. I will have to let her enjoy being a child and playing in it.
BF has arrived at work safe and sound. So I dont have to worry about him, (till home time!).
I will contact Biggest soon and see how she is. I doubt she slept very well either.
I need to keep an eye on my banking. The new pin numbers have arrived so I might manage to get somewhere with the new account now.

Eager_Elephant

Hi Mooloo, Sorry things within the family are not good.

If Biggest has the loan and credit card with the bank she uses for her income (or one from the same group) then the first step is to change her bank account.

When she has moved all her incomings/outgoings or if the above does not apply she needs to cancel the direct debit to the company and contact them to make an offer of payment - can she go on the CCCS website to see what they recommend.

I am worried that by not paying her loan and credit card she will be issued with a default which would show on her credit report and may impact on her ability to rent privately.

You mention above that the council won't help but has she asked to see a Housing Options Officer to talk through her options? They often know of landlords who don't credit check and will take smaller deposits etc

Savvy_sewing

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Hi Mooloo, Sorry things within the family are not good.

If Biggest has the loan and credit card with the bank she uses for her income (or one from the same group) then the first step is to change her bank account.

When she has moved all her incomings/outgoings or if the above does not apply she needs to cancel the direct debit to the company and contact them to make an offer of payment - can she go on the CCCS website to see what they recommend.

I am worried that by not paying her loan and credit card she will be issued with a default which would show on her credit report and may impact on her ability to rent privately.

You mention above that the council won't help but has she asked to see a Housing Options Officer to talk through her options? They often know of landlords who don't credit check and will take smaller deposits etc

Thanks EE, I shall pass your information on to her.
I think she was planning on contacting the creditors to offer what she could afford, and not just defaulting. I had just told her that they were not the priority with a baby in tow.
I know our local housing options person/s very well, and have been through this situation with myself and the twins, but to name a few of us, and alas here they do not have any contacts, the only way would be to look for privately advertised properties. DD herself works in the housing industry, so she is also aware of things that are coming up within the estate agents etc often before they have been advertised. But she is still going to ask the housing for help and direction just incase. But she is not sure what is happening with him at the moment, due to them having a joint tenancy until September anyway.
Thats why she is trying to get to see a CAB advisor asap.

With all of the good people on MSE we have been able to appproach this in a calm manor and to actually acheive a lot in just 24 hours. The moment of "I cant do this" was very brief really. Now its more of OK, I can do this, that or the other, if/when. So at least its focussing her.
He has now of course realised what he has said, and decided that he should talk to her (rather then text her- sounds familiar???), and had a chat with his mother before going home to talk yesterday. So we will see what the outcome is. However I have told her not to even think about Marrying a man if either of them have any single doubts what so ever, as if they do, then it is doomed really. So many are doomed without the doubts nevermind those with problems. As we know from experience when we get to my age!.

We went to MK together yesterday, and I had a bit of retail therapy in the sales, Pumpkin Patch is in administration and Apricot had everything on sale below £20 so we indulged in a few bits for the kids, and a dress for us each. Very naughty, but as I have cancelled my Abel and Cole delivery, due to so many veg going off before I use them, and a backlog of oranges, I can manage.
Its a rare treat that I shop anywhere never mind buy new clothes for us. I also bought DGD some new boots as she only had her trainers and her wellies. We went with the "sole" idea of getting her some shoes anyway.! Well thats how I am justifying having a small splurge. (I still have enough to cover my normal outgoings, and as long as I dont go mad for the rest of the month I will be fine.).
I have just remembered that my order for my food delivery is coming on the morning that I have to go to the hospital to have my MRI scan. Derr. Now I will need to change it all over again. Sometimes I am a bit of a numskull.

MatyMoo

Glad Biggest is coping OK, I often think that we cope well in a crisis as we know we have to. It is the every day decisions we dither over :rotfl:

And don't beat yourself up over the derrr moment, we all have some of those!

Retail therapy is also good as long as it doesn't cause a problem through the month - and it sounds like you could all do with a treat at the moment!

Sending hugs

Savvy_sewing

I cant actually remember when I last bought a new dress for the hell of it. Most of my clothes are 2nd hand. Infact I would say 99% will be if I take a look in my wardrobe. I was lucky to have a new dress at Christmas from BF, and a few other bits of clothes, and they were originally all I was planning to have for the year, as I aimed to only buy the necessary. But the dress was only £6 (it was the £9 for some leggings:o) But in the grand scale of things the two added together are still very cheap. So reasonably justifiable. I shall be back to my 2n hand stuff now. If and when I need somethingelse.
I am a bit sore today, which is understandable. So I will take it easy.
We just had our breakfast. DGD wanted eggy peggy. I have just had tea and toast.
I shall have my shower in a bit when I have recovered from pottering and washing up etc. Then hopefully she will play for a few minutes with her bricks. She is mad for her Duplo bricks at the moment, and Molly brought her somemore this week, so she is even happier to play with it. She is not interested in her dolls at all.