The "Pay ALL your debt off by Xmas 2012" challenge - PART 2!!!

mf0u1098

kerri_dfw wrote: »

Right... I'm on the laptop and laughing about the fact I can't type a rant using a tablet but I can apparently type a rant on a laptop with no spacebar (it broke 4yrs ago and is just the rubber nobble haha).

Anyway...

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RANT

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When I was made redundant in June 2010 I lent my sister £2500(ish) to pay off her catalogues, stupidly thinking this would mean she didn't get herself into further debt. She agreed to pay me £25 a week to pay off the debt. Over time this has been knocked down by her, not by me, and she now pays £50 a month. I only paid it off as she was about to give birth to my nephew and I didn't want to see him go without because she'd got herself into debt. I could have paid off all my debts with this money at the time.
Anyway, she then went and booked herself a £5k (total inc interest) boob job. Obviously she didn't see paying me back as a priority. I put a television and a blu-ray player on my sisters kays catalogue and paid her £200 a month to clear this over a year. She was meant to keep the catalogue clear and just pay off what I owed, this way when I finished paying she was still debt free. Instead it turns out she pockets half the money and has been getting red letters from them saying she owes £900 for the past few months.
My rant isn't about this though, my rant is about my father paying off the catalogue for her!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!! She's obviously not learnt that it's bad to be using credit, she hasn't learnt any lessons about money by him bailing her out again, all she's learnt is that she can rack up debts and people will bail her out. She has to pay him £25 a week (heard that before) to clear the debt by December. I just don't understand why my Dad has done it, he's meant to be a responsible parent and should know that by bailing her out he's not doing her any favours. It would have been kinder to just let her sink. Really annoyed about this.

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RANT OVER

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Wow this sounds sooooo familiar...! It is so unfair that certain members of the family are able to just spend as they choose, make massive mistakes and get bailed out but others are left to sink or swim. I'm definitely the sink or swim person in my family and in a way I am glad cos I have learned an incredibly valuable lesson from it. My sisters however haven't learnt and are sinking further and further into debt and people bail them out. My sister wants to buy a new car, she has £2900 of cc and od debt, wants to save for a house and have a baby and yet is paying for non-invasive liposuction!!! WHAT?! Honestly, it is sooooo difficult being a sibling sometimes as there is nothing we can do about these things except be there to advise and not to give them money. It's like giving a drug addict some more drugs! I absolutely agree with you that it's the wrong thing for your dad to have done. I'm sorry if I can stepping out of line here but she needs to grow up and stop freeloading... Again, sorry if this is too harsh kerri, I don't want to offend but it's so frustrating seeing this happen time and time again. Why can't people realise that when they are lent money that this has been at great personal sacrifice in lending that money. This doesn't give people the right to think this is just free money and spend it on boob jobs or new clothes or whatever.

grrrrr I'm angry for you hun!!! :mad:

kerri_dfw

Not stepping out of line at all, that's exactly how I feel about it. My OH went off on one on the phone when I told him, which made me chuckle. I feel it's incredibly irresponsible of my Dad, she has her 2nd child due any day and should know how to manage her money by now, but no grrr.

mf0u1098

kerri_dfw wrote: »

Not stepping out of line at all, that's exactly how I feel about it. My OH went off on one on the phone when I told him, which made me chuckle. I feel it's incredibly irresponsible of my Dad, she has her 2nd child due any day and should know how to manage her money by now, but no grrr.

I'm not surprised he went bonkers!!!

I found out earlier today that my sister, who I lent all my savings to of almost £3k) MAY have just bought 15 cartons of shoes for her business when they need to reduce their stock NOT increase it! If this is right then I'm going to go ballistic as I could pay off my car loan on payday if I had the money... So if she's completely gone against the rules for lending her the money and not used it to pay the bills and reduce her stock (I've also put in hours and hours and hours photoshopping for the business and looking at the accounts rather than ebaying to pay off my own debt) then I will let it be known that she will never be helped again and she can sink in future.

I thought family was supposed to look out for each other???

I'm still angry for you kerri!!!!!

psychopathbabble

mf0u1098 wrote: »

I thought family was supposed to look out for each other???

I'm still angry for you kerri!!!!!

Me too! I hate it when people are taking advantage of other people I know she is your sister Kerri but I think you might have to take the tough road from now on... I've seen friends get bailed out and must admit I'm envious as I don't have that to fall back on but I'm learning a harsh lesson and early enough to be able to change habits for life. I've actually got the opposite where MrS pays for a lot of stuff when we are together yet still tells me to go out with my friends and he will pay/lend me the money! I hardly ever (in fact, I don't think I have yet) take advantage of this as I feel so guilty about it.

Sending a big hug!

Glenda

I have made my first installment towards reducing my debt

#272 100/ 4000

it's not much but at least it's a start!

Kerri - When you talk about your sister, it's just like me and my sister. only I was the one in the family who received a lot of financial help from her parents, I never borrowed money and then went and got a boob job or anything like that...but in my twenties through going to university, buying a house etc i always got help financially. Only now in my late 30's have i managed to wise up and try and help myself. Hopefully your sister at some stage will realise also. I know this is unfair. I'm sorry.

kerri_dfw

Aw Jemma don't be angry, I feel sorry for her because it's going to take her longer to learn the tough lesson we're all learning. She laughs when I tell her the things I am doing to budget/save money. She says I must be mad. Simple things like buying fairy liquid in bulk instead of paying 2-3 times as much. I was reading a thread about how pringles are 2 for £4 at the moment and that some people thought it was a good deal (obv not the MSE people) then my sister was on the phone in Mr T to me and said "oooh 2 for £4 on pringles that's good" *smacks head*

Thanks glenda it's not that it's unfair, as I know my Dad would lend to me if I asked. But I know that if she was forced to sort it out she'd learn one of the most valuable life lessons you could learn. I've only learnt it since joining this thread.

psycho... OH has his student loan and keeps offering to lend me, so I know how you feel, I'd feel really bad about accepting his offer

I think we all know though, we can't be told when it comes to our finances, we have to learn the hard way or we'll never know.

psychopathbabble

MrS has the same mindset as your sister, he doesn't believe in looking after the pennies. Luckily he got a good redundancy a few years ago and isn't in debt but he is slowly frittering away what remains of it even though he wants to buy a house soon. Frustrating!

rubywhatashmoo

Getting really annoyed with ebay stuff tonight - how things change in a few hours!!

One item - bought & paid for on Wednesday - I've been working every day since and will be posting on Monday. I got an email from the buyer asking what was happening - fair enough. 20 minutes later I get a message from the same person - logged in to ebay as another user asking a question on one of my current items moaning on about me ignoring them when they have been trying to get in touch about where their item is!.

For one thing - IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!! OK so I was in watching a Sarah Millican DVD not having a night on the tiles, but I don't think that not replying straight away is unexpected!! Secondly, both their accounts had hardly any feedback - I've got 1008 positives!! And seen as I sell items I actually *CAN* get negatives, which is more than can be said for all the buyers taking the mickey :mad:

rubywhatashmoo

Also got buyers cancelling their bids - using the reason "seller edited item description. But I didn't!! I can't believe how easy it is for buyers to do what they feel like now. I don't even expect to get paid for most of the stuff I sell on there now, it's absolutely ridiculous. The only good thing is at least they were listed for free, so I only spent money on extra pictures and wasted my own time. Only two items with bids on now

GAH!!

Anyway...

Kerri - my sister has loads of debts - nobody in my family will be offering to help her out with them though - but she drives me mad, she can't go anywhere/do anything as she always uses the "I've got no money" excuse - but I found out yesterday she's spending £250 on her OHs birthday present :eek: She's in so much debt because she paid for loads of her wedding on credit - and although he earns a lot more than she does and pays out less (she pays half the mortgage on her house, I pay the other half from YEARS AGO when we first bought it - bit complicated!) - whereas he only pays half of the bills, so has a lot more disposable income than her - so could have contributed more :mad:

My OH isn't too bad with money - I ended up shifting his debts onto a 0% CC a few years ago and it did take him AGES to pay me back but he did finally manage it! He really needs to pay off his overdraft and an OD on a "spare" account he's got but he's just useless with it - I keep telling him if he only paid £20 a month it would be done by now but he just rolls his eyes and ignores me :rotfl:

DorsetGirl_2

Sorry to hear about everyones reckless siblings. I suppose you can take some comfort that you are getting DF before them, but its still really hard.

For me its actually my Mum who is the reckless one. It has always been like this - at a young age we hid from debt collectors and had our stuff repossessed. Three years ago I cleared her provident loan of £800 - 2 months later she had racked it all back up again. Then 2 years ago she was ina mess again with an unauthorised overdraft so again I cleared it. Its so frustrating as I havent seen a penny back and I dont think she has any intention of giving it back