The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

Miss_Piggy_2

cleggie wrote: »

Hey guys.
Can i ask how you deal with being totally miserable, without drinking? It sounds like a stupid question probably, but i am so miserable day, have an awful day, totally overwhelmed by everything. And my first thought is that i want to drink to forget

Ditto.

All I'm thinking today is that I'm getting stressed at work and boy do I "need" a bottle of wine.

Except I don't. With wine I become more emotional, confrontational and depressed. Without wine I can deal with it more rationally. Well, thats the theory anyway.

My plan of action today, and this is just what works for me, is to concentrate on cooking a BIG lovely early dinner (if you are full you won't feel so much like drinking), having a bubble bath and immersing myself in a novel.

Many ((hugs)) for you feeling so miserable. Hope you can get through today, deal with whatever is making you feel this way, without having a drink.

Miss P
xx

crazymum_2

Cleggie - (((hugs))) sorry you're feeling rubbish. Miss Piggy - you are so right. When you feel horrible about stuff or the day or whatever and drink - it usually makes you feel worse. Alcohol is a depressive, so I guess that makes sense.
How about having a bit of a pamper evening, something nice to eat, leave the housework, concentrate on you. Tuesday evenings are my best because it's Hollyoaks followed by Eastenders and there's ice cream in my freezer it doesn't take much to please me.

I do hope someone comes along to express all of this better .
Cleggie - you are doing so well with finding where you want to be.
For me - I always drank much more when I felt miserable - and then felt even more miserable.....and then in the morning I'd feel terrible.....

So my best advice is stay strong, snuggle up on the sofa with some nice food / a book / the tv and go to bed early :T

missrlr

Wish I had found this thread about 5 years ago.

The amount I can drink is frightening - however I started with the need to cut down the every night drink as the amount it was costing me was impossible to sustain (stopping at the pub next to the yard where horse was for a beverage with the regulars, then of course the glass of wine when preparing supper and so on) to pretty much managing to not drink apart from 1 or 2 glasses on an occasional Friday OR Saturday, unless it is a party night - I still need the off switch to operate then, and it does occasionally fail me about three times a year. Do not get me wrong, this has been slow and I have fallen right of the wagon on occasions but the MSE aspect kept me coming back for another attempt.

Best bit was my wedding day and my wedding party last year (2 separate occasions as we married in Cyprus just the 2 of us and partied in the UK) - I was sober until after the dinner! About half past midnight I realised I had had 2 glasses of champagne and a glass of wine all day! No dodgy photos, no headache and for the party all family dealt with without rancour. Also - from the MSE aspect - no bar bill!

The lovely posts I have read on here would have made that journey so much better and possibly quicker. It started as a need to save money, now it is a health kick and necessity as I don't want it to impact on my job - I have seen and had to deal with that one. Not nice for anyone concerned and a bit of an eye opener for me personally.

I have a set of aide memoires that help me stay on the straight and narrow.
No drinking when cooking - only fizzy water or squash. It's the having something to hand for a glug that did it for me - I could pretty much quaff a bottle making dinner let alone drinking with it!
No drinking if go to gym or have been to gym that day (which I now do 5 days a week, and I extend this to long walks and other fitness activities too)
School nights are Sunday to Thursday inclusive as you have to get to work Monday and if you are driving it's when people are most distracted already.
If I am driving before 11am on the Sat or Sun then it's also a AF night.
If I drink even a glass I always use a home breathalyser to make sure I am OK - pretty sure there have been times in my life when I was not legally OK to drive so no chances now and it focusses the mind during the drinking event. Loads of people are shocked when they realise the amount still in their system at 8am - do it before you go to bed and be quite amazed - real focus grabber when you consider how little you have drunk.

Of course these won't work for everyone but if it helps someone then happy to share.

Good luck to you all and here's to that slippery band wagon we are all trying to tame.

cleggie

Thanks guys.
I havent had anything to drink, and dont think i am going to either. The main reason is that i have to get up early tomorrow as its a school day.

peterbunny

Hi everyone havn't posted for a couple of days, as it has been a VERY STRESSFUL WEEKEND.
Friday night was super just a quiet night in, with my new garden shrub and plant cataloque. Had to stop virtual spending when I totted it up to nearly £400.
That's an awful lot of non drinking!!!
11 AFS.
Early Sat morning morning was woken by the burglar alarm going off. X had arrived breathing fire and brimstone, because I had redirected his mail; apparently should have rung him 2 come and collect it.:mad:

He didn't know the alarm code and I couldn't find my glasses, to disarm it, so it went on & on ringing. It was like something out of a soap.

Sat and tried to reason with him for a couple of hours, when all I wanted 2 do was sleep.
Eventually he went, but untill I buy his share of the house he's still entitled to access.

Did some gardening and cleaning and was just starting to cook a meal, as my daughter was coming round; when she phoned to cancel. She wasn't well:(. I hate eating alone! Very disappointed I went out and bought a bottle of wine, but only drank 2 glasses.Perhaps I have found my stop button:T

5 o'clock Sunday morning got a phone call from a police station. X had got into a disagreement with one of his sons,with whom he now lives. They own his old house & when he wouldn't go they arrested him.
He said he was coming up and if I didn't let him in he would brake the door down! So Spent another 2 hours trying to calm him down. Luckily his son let him back in,eventually, 4 how long who Knows.

Did some spring cleaning, made a lovely meal for dughte, son and girlfriend. Finished the bottle of wine. No alcohol in house now, so
AF 2 night.:beer:

Went swimming again 2day, have lost 4lbs since xmas.
I want 2 book a holiday, but won't do it until i look more like sleek seal and less like beached whale!!!!!!

Sorry to ramble on so much, but needed 2 get it off my chest & felt a bit quilty about drinking at all.

Thanks 4 the support:eek:

missrlr

Blimey that was a rough weekend - good for you to only have had a bottle amidst all that carry on! You're through it now and it's a whole other week.

365days

Re; Feeling miserable


Here's my take. Feeling miserable, sad, angry any emotion that makes you feel uncomfortable is just that -uncomfortable not the end of the world even if it feels like it. After years of numbing it with alcohol any and every time an emotion like that arose, I now just sit with it. Sometimes it hurts like hell to find out why you are miserable/angry/sad etc. But for me I'd rather know so then I can choose to do something about it rather than brushing it under the carpet with a bottle of wine.

Soul searching is hard work, very emotional and a bit like a roller coaster but for me at least, I accept that life isn't a bed of roses, and all I can do is accept what I can't change and try to change the things I can.

Obviously FAR easier said than done.

Cleggie - Have you tried Journal writing?

gardenanna

cleggie wrote: »

Hey guys.
Can i ask how you deal with being totally miserable, without drinking? It sounds like a stupid question probably, but i am so miserable day, have an awful day, totally overwhelmed by everything. And my first thought is that i want to drink to forget

That's what happened to me on Saturday Cleggie - a really awful day and an overwhelming desire to block it out and switch off. I just didn't want to know anymore - no more thinking or talking about it so I gave in - got drunk, felt aneathsatised (sp??) and loved it at the time but then regretted it afterwards.

I'm starting to think about next time cos there's bound to be one and all I can think is have a replacement treat up my sleeve - like a lovely bath or maybe a massage or something - but that doesn't do the blocking out bit does it

cleggie

365- thanks for the advice, and you are right, its not the end of the world it just feels like it. Its basically just a few decisions i have to make and i am struggling to decide what to do. Sitting with the feeling is tough, it really feels uncomfirtable, but its something i have to do. I have to learn to DEAL with problems, not try and bury my head in the sand (or wine bottle!) in the hopes it will go away.

I do journal actually, i started when i was 14 and am now 32 (!!!) and keep a journal that i write in. I dont write in it every day, just as and when the need strikes. Maybe i'll give it a go tonight.
I am currently drinking OJ and counting down the minutes until bedtime.
I am hoping that tomorrow will be better.

Thanks 365, i really appreciate the support.

peterbunny

Hi Cleggie, lots of big hugs.:A
You'r doing so well don't give in!!
When I have to make difficult decisions I write it all down.
Make a list of all the reasons to do something, then all the reasons for not doing it. See which is the longer.Simples.
Seriously writing it all down helps clarify the situation.
Plan a nice treat for yourself, phone a friend, watch a favourite dvd or play some music. Things usuall seem a bit better in the morning.
Hoping this helps:D