The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

jak

Bless your hearts. I do feel for you. I don't know what to suggest unless you try taking him for a run/football late afternoon? My best wishes for you all and I wish I could help more. X
Ps. can you get him referred to a child psychologist? Only because if they are giving him a sedative they should also be trying to help him emotionally. x

*Mari*

Declaring AFD # 6 please Shaggy

Am back to work tomorrow after a lovely 2 weeks off, feeling ready for my exams now too, so early to bed and hopefully I'll be up bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow!!

Cuppa - Oh my, shows I need to read things properly! You're like the queen now with 2 birthdays :rotfl: Can't really offer much advise on bedtimes, my youngest was always tricky and quite often I would lie with him until he (or both of us) dropped off. Perhaps have a chat with your health visitor they may have some ideas.

Well done to everyone for their AFness over the weekend :j

Night,

Mari xx

CuppaTea

Hi Jak,

Yes I am trying to keep him active, today we went to a activity place where he was on the go the whole time, at tea time I saw him rubbing his eyes and he did look tired, so tried to get him upstairs within that window of time, but alas, I think he has MAYBE just dropped off now. Don't dare check in case he isnt.

I am trying to sort out some counselling for him, but that is taking longer than i thought.

Its not always possible to take him out, esp as we return to the school routine, clubs and dark evenings, the summer will be easier as they can play out. But that in itself presents problems of "But its still daytime.........".

Can't win eh?

mackeroo

Whoops i think it was me who started the Happy Birthday domino effect..that will also teach me not to speed read as others have said, you can have 2 birthdays like the Queen.

With regard to your wee one, i think you are doing the right thing with sticking to a routine, why not just being it all forward an hour, is that possible? Im sure if its not poss, it will work it self out fine over a period of time. I wonder if this is your boys way of absorbing the change in dynamics at home, he may not be able to articulate how its affecting him but his body is reacting to it somehow. I really dont think its anything to worry about, however as others have mentioned maybe a chat with a professional may give you some reassurances. ((Hugs))

DecemberBaby_2

AF tonight so 2 AF days for me please Shaggy.

To anyone who is disappointed at having given in and had a drink, as others have said, just put it behind you and make a fresh start on a new day. I had severe wobbles tonight when DS1 offered to drive to a restaurant but managed to get past it and drove instead.

Cuppa - I feel for you. DH and I split up when DSs were 1 and 3 and today is DS1's 21st birthday. We've been through all sorts of things on the way but the time has flown by. I can't really remember what I did when there were problems with sleeping but I'm sure I used to have to sit with one of them to reassure them until they fell asleep. I'm sure parenting books wouldn't advise that but I just did my own thing! Whatever worked for us!


Take care all

DB

gien

Cuppa, just wanted to say that I really feel for you and that I think you're coping marvellously all things considered.

Have you tried giving your little boy a cup of warm milk during story time? It sound like an old wives tale but it works a treat with my little girl who is 7. Another alternative would be to try and get him in bed earlier begore he's 'gone through' his sleepy window and gets over tired. I put mb DD to bed at 6.30 a few times before Xmas as she was very tired - emotionally rather than physically. Although it was ober an hour early it sermed to do the trick and got her back in a good pattern.
Good luck!

tracy_36

Popping in with 6AF, yahh
I went out to bingo yesterday, the pub after, then a date in the pub in the eve, then met some work colleagues for a birthday in the pub!
I enjoyed my whole day, lime and sodas, diet coke and lemonades..
I am surprised as it is my child free weekend!
I do prefer my nights out sober, why can't I just do this all the time?!?

Well done everyone on the AFness

Tracy x

CuppaTea

Well done to you Tracy, great guns, very impressive when child free too, it would be easy to think you were wasting an opportunity if you didnt have a drink. Think I would.

Thanks to everyone who has replied. I will try the warm milk thing and maybe go against the parenting books and lie with him for a bit longer. I just didnt want to add bad habits to my list of things to break or sort out.

I might give the 6.30 bedtime a go, but at the risk of sounding negative, i'm doubtful it will work. Only because he fights sleep. He often tells me he doesn't sleep at 7pm or 8pm and his sleeping time is 9pm. As I said before I think, his PB is 10.15 for a school night.

Its like he doesn't consent to sleeping and he has set himself times when he is permitted too. Unfortunately he can read a clock and whilst i have thought about removing it, its useful for the mornings and keeping him in bed. He is very sharp and bright and would see through any schemes of mine.............did I say he is only 6?

Part of me just wants to hand him over to his father and say "you created this situation you deal with it". Pointless as when he is with his daddy one night a week, he indulges the kids and they stay up late anyway. He doesn't get any of the "missing daddy" - "want daddy to come home" crap as they are with him, so love it.

The classic single parent rubbish really. The parent who leaves gets the best bits and the remaining parent gets the hard work.

Right this is getting me know except on the road to self pity.

I'm off to bed.

Night all.

tracy_36

Hey Cuppa
I posted earlier, but I spent so long reading the thread - in-between messaging guys on the dating site - that I missed out the last few comments!
Hopefully your boy just needs to get into the school routine - mine are so out of sorts, can't wait for Tuesday to aim for some normality!
My daughter, now 7, has always been a bad sleeper, but she doesn't appear to need as much as her older brother, so let her stay up reading, whilst he is snoring in the next room....
So, there's my tip for keeping busy - internet dating lol!!!

jak

My son also gets 'fun' Daddy when hes with him and he comes back like the devil. Ultimately though they love you more. It happens so quickly you'll be suprised. My little boy always turns to me when hes sad or very happy, even when hes with his dad. Im his rock. You will find that you become very close very quickly and its a very different sort of relationship than when you live with a partner. Its worth its weight in gold. My ex husband and i split up 3 years ago. It is so hard but the changes I mention above are amazing. X