The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

heath480

Happy December to all.

mackeroo

:ASchool Night Challenge:A

:AFull Monty:A

Mackeroo:):):):T

Shaggy :):):):T

Maman:):):):T

CuppaTea:):):):):T

:A3 nights :A

Unself :):T

Gien:):T

mackeroo

Morning everyone
Well done everyone on last weeks SNC :T Im happy to run it over Dec if people would find it helpful. No more AF's for me to report for Nov Shaggy. Wont be AF tonight, got a meal out with family but will remember to slip my emergency stop button in my handbag before i leave. Ive been busy baking this morning, i made Christmas biscotti and the house smells so Xmassy, love it.
Thinking of you and your little ones CuppaTea x

satchmo1

I didn't buy any wine, to try and have an AF weekend.

I went to a dance class this morning, and it was so much fun, despite not knowing all the moves. The routine builds up over 12 weeks, and I've started more than half way through, so I don't feel bad.

It was very frosty this morning...

tracy_36

Hi all

I have been naughty, MIA

Shaggy, can I have a target of 10 days please for Dec, and one today makes 1AF

Cuppa - Hope today went ok

I had a nightmare night last night - was my Dads 3 year anniversary, so as a family we go out and have a beer for him - anyway, Mum hadn't eaten, had a few vodkas and went unconscious - had to call an ambulance......she was a mess - thought she was going to die - when she was coming to she kept saying she wanted to - was awful, esp as we saw my Dad die...families!!!!
She isn't a big drinker, the ambulance guys said it was probably all emotionally related, very scary
This morning she thought we made it up as she can't remember a thing
So, heavy night, morning, so def sober tonight!!
Hope you are all keeping wrapped up warm, think my heating may be on all night!!

Tracy x

satchmo1

I'm happy to report 1/10 AF to start December on the right track. Oh, but it was hard.

CuppaTea

Mari, welcome back, great to see you again, pls hang around even if you do slip. Its nice to read about regular faces.

Tracy, sorry to hear about your bad night, that must have been awful for all concerned. I feel for you and your family, your mum must be so upset still to feel like that. Unfortunately there is no easy answer as we all know. My thoughts are with you.

Hi to everyone else and thanks for your well wishes. Its done now, the kids know and we all got very upset. DS cried in his dad's arms solidly for over 20 mins, it was very distressing. DD kept saying she didn't understand and "I don't like sad faces only happy ones". But in the afternoon Daddy took them to see his new room and they took some of their things to personalise it. They actually asked for a sleepover next weekend. Which will be great for the 3 of them.

They came back in good spirits, Daddy just stayed in the hall as we agreed to drop them off. All seemed well until bedtime when i was tucking up DS, he said to me
"I wish Daddy was living here and not at Mama and Grandpa's house, it would be better for me".
"I know darling, but he isn't going to live here anymore, you do know that?"
"Maybe when I am 10?"
"No sweetheart, I'm sorry".
"But it would be better for me to see daddy everyday.......".

Its heart breaking, I did nothing but cry and cry and cry last night, just when I thought I had stopped, I still had more tears, I ended up crying myself to sleep. On the surface the kids are ok, but DD came into me at 5am saying she had a bad dream and was scared (she rarely comes into my bed), followed by DS 45 mins later saying he was scared and needed a huggle.

It was nice to have bodies in the bed, i felt warmer and it was comforting, but i guess its not a habit I can indulge in for too long. I don't sleep well with little people in the bed and its something we just haven't encouraged as our bed was for us. Guess we were lucky that the children were good sleepers and rarely came in, until all this kicked off. DS is becomi ng a regular visitor! But i haven't got the energy to deal with it and i feel mean giving all that is happening to him.

AF wise another day done making 6 in a row, but 1 for dec. Will also do the SNC. Surprisingly i am finding it easy, my stop button seems permenantly on without me trying. I just don't want it. Its good, but a shame for a break up of my marriage to make that happen.

One of the hardest things is DH and I were talking before we told the kids. We will try to remain friends and I was asking him some "why's", trying to understand how this has happened. He said its probably been building up for him for well over 3-4 years, i was blown away, i had absolutely no idea. He said he is entirely at fault for never saying anything, head in sand, not dealing with problems as they came along hoping it would get better, but it didn't, his feelings for me just dwindled away instead. Its such a shame as we were so good together and we could have had a happy future if only he had comunicated with me and if only I had been aware and noticed more.

DS keeps making references to missing daddy this morning.
"I really miss Daddy"
"I know darling, I do too"
"I wish daddy was here"
"I do too, but he still loves you lots and he misses you too"
"And Daddy loves you too"
"No he doesnt darling, he doesn't love mummy anymore, i'm just his friend now"
"But daddy still cares about you, he told me"
"Yes I know he cares, he just cares as a friend now, not as a husband".

Sorry about the dialogue, i don't want people in RL to get fed up with me and i don't know how to handle this, I have never felt so unhappy or sad or lost before. And I have to support two children and carry on running a house, working, school, clubs, and bloody xmas on top!

Anyway DH (lets call him Bill now - not his name btw) is coming later to start removing the rest of his stuff. He has some large speakers in the lounge, that I have never liked, so he is taking them, but they will make a noticeable difference when you walk in the lounge. I have prepared the children for when we come back and they notice stuff missing. Well I have tried, it think it will hit us all hard still.

Anyway must go, have a good but freezing sunday everyone.

CuppaTea

satchmo1 wrote: »

I'm happy to report 1/10 AF to start December on the right track. Oh, but it was hard.

Well done on that you should be feeling proud this morning. :j

ChocolateCupcake

Hello everyone. Sorry I've not been around much, been very busy, very stressed and only 1 AFD to add to my pitiful November total!
Anyway, I'm not giving up and my Target for December is 10 AFD's please Shaggy.
x

gien

Evening all, no AFD yet for me in December but I'm going to try for 4 AF night during the week. I have been drinking too much, my tolerance has shot up an I have gained a kilo in weight.

Cuppa, my heart goes out to you and your kids, really it does - what a painful situation to be in and how difficult to deal with - you just have to keep on going and eventually the sadness will lighten and with time all will slowly get better and more bearable. big cyber hugs