The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

missmucksmum

mrsrainman wrote: »

I don't know if it's the weather affecting me but I feel totally fed up today.
Fed up with struggling with debt, wondering how much I can spend on food, not going places so I don't have to put petrol in the car, etc, etc ,etc. Just Fed Up!!!!
And all the while I sit a watch MrR selfishly drink away £200 a month. Not stopping to think about how it affects everyone around him, seeming not to care about the damage he is doing to his health. I know it's a drug and I know he's addicted, but sometimes my patience and sympaty wears a bit thin.
Sorry for the moan, just had to get it out of my head before I go mad!

MrsR xx

my husbands alcohol costs not far off this too it used to be double but most weeks triple he could easily spend £200 a week in the pub. I have cut him down to 8 cans of cheapish lager until we can start the detox at home in 11 days i cannot wait to have the extra cash but not looking forward to dealing with hubby while he does his detox just need to find plenty of things to keep him occupied have got some of his favourite programmes sky+ some airfix models and will get him the paper each day after ive dropped the kids off? As his little area is the kitchen sitting on his barstool listening to Radio I usually get to the point of not want ing to go in the kitchen because he is sat in there doing nothing and dont like cleaning up around him this normally ends in an arguements. I have recently started batch cooking and i am trying to involve him which is great getting him to stir stuff portion it out unblock the sink when I block it up (he said what would you do without me ) I am going to do some cakes the next couple of weeks for a good luck party we are having a week on saturday for the hubby and thought it would be good to have plenty of sweet things in as the body is actually craving sugar not the alcohol, also I will be getting plenty of bottle of sugary fizzy drinks in too for him to have while detoxing it doesnt get you drunk obviously but the getting drunk bit to cope with life is the reason he is going into rehab x

ChocolateCupcake

It sounds as if some of you are having a difficult time. Big hugs.

I'm on a bit of a health kick (trying to lose some flab for a little black Christmas number!!!), so I had a long swim and 1AF evening yesterday to add for me. Today I've done an hour in the gym but I've still got to resist the shopping night tipple tonight!

diable

MarkMan wrote: »

Morning all. Feeling really down today. I started reading the Allen Carr book again and stopped 4 pages before the end - before the big commitment.

I was in bed by 7:30pm but couldn't sleep because everything was going round in my head. Spent every waking moment during the night (and there were a lot of them) either worrying about work or wondering where my life could go. Can I honestly take that final step and say "never again"???? I really don't think I can control it at the moment, yet I know I have a relatively stress-free life. But I honestly can't remember the last time I could say I was "happy" - if anything, it was probably the last time was the morning after my last AF day!

I feel I'm staring at a future of drinking hell, or a future that I can't comprehend - permanently sober!

Everything in the book made perfect sense - I cannot give a single reason to drink, but can't go a day without it.:mad:

I know I am feeling like this because of the drink, and it isn't going to change unless I do. The answer is therefore obvious but that is a world I honestly can't envisage.

I'm not asking for answers, I just needed to write this down and share, and there is no-one else I can share it with.:A

Rant over. On with life.

Good luck to everyone else!

Fight it one day at a time as you need to get over your dependancy as you get in to a routine and it becomes the norm so when you have a day "without" you look forward to the next day and a drink.

diable

I still think about having a drink and always have to put it behind me even though I gave up in December, giving up cigarettes for much easier even though I went to hypnotherapy.

Best of luck everyone out to a surf shack tonight

MarkMan

diable wrote: »

I still think about having a drink and always have to put it behind me even though I gave up in December, giving up cigarettes for much easier even though I went to hypnotherapy.

Best of luck everyone out to a surf shack tonight

Thanks Diable and everyone. Today did get much better and being with other people at work really helped (I often have to work from home - obvious temptations:o)

But nothing helps like the support on here. Thank you all so much for reading and helping.:A

Chocolate Cupcake - it can't be Xmas planning already - please!

missmucksmum sugar seems a great idea - I found some boiled sweets by chance this morning, and after two or three felt much better. It's no magic cure but it helped (maybe its happy childhood memories flooding back?:D) One thing I have found helpful with quitting the (relatively simple) cigs is being able to discuss how I feel with DW (something I can't do with alcohol). So, with you there for him and being able to be honest, it can't be a bad thing.

Mrs R - I'm trying to put myself in MrR's (direct) situation (I'm scarily close enough already:() but I can't. I don't know whether being told exactly what I am by my wife would push me deeper into the pit or give me the reality kick I needed.

All I can think is that you are doing everything you can to help :A and you are being the best wife you can be and I'd want you in my corner in any fight.

Thank you all again and hugs to everyone struggling (and not, just hugs all round really!):D

New day tomorrow and good luck to those trying to stay AF tonight.

maman

MarkMan wrote: »

Mrs R - I'm trying to put myself in MrR's (direct) situation (I'm scarily close enough already:() but I can't. I don't know whether being told exactly what I am by my wife would push me deeper into the pit or give me the reality kick I needed.

All I can think is that you are doing everything you can to help :A and you are being the best wife you can be and I'd want you in my corner in any fight.

Thanks so much for your post Markman. I hadn't thought of it as MrR having his nose rubbed in it more telling him he really needed to try and sort it as it was getting to a more serious pitch than perhaps he realised and the family wanted to help.

missmucksmum, is your DH mostly an evening drinker? I'm not comparing myself with him as I'm just a cutter-down who needed to break an ingrained habit but I've always found that evening is the hardest time as it's when most people have downtime to relax and start drinking. I think the soft drinks are a good idea as I found I needed something in my hand to replace the alcohol. Lately, I've moved on to hot drinks as I have to sip those which helps me. Other displacement activities are things like exercise to get you out of the house (walks?gym?), restful baths and early nights.

Lovely, supportive posts on here today. This is a good thread.:A

Ironically, chocolatecupcake, I was mostly motivated to cut down because of the calories. I cut down the booze first, then added in healthy eating and lost 3.5 stone which I've kept off for a year!:j Having come in at my lightest weight this morning I was tempted to 'celebrate' knowing I could afford the calories. I got as far as putting a bottle in the fridge but it's still there unopened!:D

So 13 AFDs for August, please.

I don't think I'll be clocking up any more but I'm pleased with that. It represents 13 completely AF days plus several where I've had a single glass with a meal out.

Thanks for the scoring Shaggy and may I have my usual
target of 10 for September please?

cheesedoffwithdebt

shaggydoo wrote: »

January :-

= 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF

= 28 days AF

= 30 days AF

:j = target achieved


Bigdrinker

Chocolate Cupcake /16

Gien /25

Mackeroo

Maman /10

Mari

Miss P

Miss rlr /11

OlderButNotWiser

Pippi

Pixiegirl /12

Shaggy /17

Pricey SOS

Tracy

TrainingDad /15




PLEASE PUT YOUR TARGET AFDs IN A BOLD RED FONT and good luck! (and if I've made any mistakes, don't be shy, please let me know!)

EVERYONE WELCOME

20 for September please!

graemecarter

MarkMan wrote: »

Morning all. Feeling really down today. I started reading the Allen Carr book again and stopped 4 pages before the end - before the big commitment.

I was in bed by 7:30pm but couldn't sleep because everything was going round in my head. Spent every waking moment during the night (and there were a lot of them) either worrying about work or wondering where my life could go. Can I honestly take that final step and say "never again"???? I really don't think I can control it at the moment, yet I know I have a relatively stress-free life. But I honestly can't remember the last time I could say I was "happy" - if anything, it was probably the last time was the morning after my last AF day!

I feel I'm staring at a future of drinking hell, or a future that I can't comprehend - permanently sober!

Everything in the book made perfect sense - I cannot give a single reason to drink, but can't go a day without it.:mad:

I know I am feeling like this because of the drink, and it isn't going to change unless I do. The answer is therefore obvious but that is a world I honestly can't envisage.

I'm not asking for answers, I just needed to write this down and share, and there is no-one else I can share it with.:A

Rant over. On with life.

Good luck to everyone else!

There came a point where I couldn't live with it, but couldn't live without it. That was a painful place to be.

Just stopping drinking did not work for me, as when I was on the wagon I often wanted to a drink, and that would build up and up until I had a drink.
I could stop drinking, but I couldn't stay stopped.

Stopping drinking wasn't enough for me as it was the sober me that picked up the first drink. Thus my problem is two fold - physical in that when I have one drink, I have a huge desire to have another, then another. And mental, in terms of knowing that alcohol was damaging my life, but still having that first drink regardless.

Thus I had to change if I was to be alcohol free successfully.
If I didn't change, nothing would

Good luck

shaggydoo

Morning :hello:

Yesterday was 1 more AFD.

If OH and some friends go out to the pub tonight I'll probably go and just have 2 glasses of wine and some nosh. But if nobody's going out, I'll be AF.



Shaggyx

shaggydoo

August :-

= 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF

= 28 days AF

= 31 days AF

= target achieved



Bearacus /TF


Bigdrinker 5/TF

Chocolate Cupcake 11/20


Delamo /30


Gien 10/24

Mackeroo 10/16

Maman 13/10


Mari 6/10


Miss P 3/21

Miss rlr 20/21


OlderButNotWiser 2/10

Pippi 9/21

Pixiegirl 10/TF

Shaggy 20/17

Pricey SOS 9/TF


ThirdTimeLucky /16


Tracy 8/TF



PLEASE PUT YOUR AFDs IN A BOLD RED FONT and good luck! (and if I've made any mistakes, don't be shy, please let me know!)

EVERYONE WELCOME