The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

missmucksmum

Also i am sorry if i have gate crashed the wrong thread is there a thread for this kind of thing? xx

graemecarter

missmucksmum wrote: »

Also i am sorry if i have gate crashed the wrong thread is there a thread for this kind of thing? xx

There are some people that post on this thread because of a loved one's drinking, not their own, so welcome. Please feel free to 'share' whenever you want.

It sounds like things are in motion and most importantly your OH wants to stop drinking. That's a start.
Today is my 5th anniversary of stopping drinking. I am alcoholic and while I have managed to not drink for a while, I will always be an alcoholic and always need to be aware of that.

I have met and know quite a few people who have benefited enormously from Al-Anon, which provides support to anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else’s drinking, regardless of whether that person is still drinking or not.

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/contact

Good luck

mrsrainman

Morning All!

Welcome cheesedoffwith debt. It sounds like you have done really well so far. You'll find everyone on here really supportive

missmucksmum, Sending you massive hugs :grouphug:. MrR is a functioning alcoholic. I post on here for a couple of reasons. 1. It gives me a place to vent my thoughts and feelings to others who will understand and who will not judge MrR. 2. It gives me some perspective of how it must be from his side.
It sounds like your OH wants to regain control and get his life back which is really good news, although it's sad you had to reach rock bottom first.
Well done for holding it together, especially for your children. Feel free to share on here, and please don't feel alone.

MrsR xx

antonic

Missmucksmum,

dont worry, we who post here dont judge, we just try to help.

So please post away !

missrlr

Missmucksmum - please post here if it helps. Some of us are saints and some part time sinners, some also in your situation. How great your DH has acknowledged the problem and is willing to do something about it. Really hope you can both get through this and out the other side to move on with your lives. Hope the children are OK too.

Right - I am ashamed to say I cannot count, or rather keep count. The problem seems to be when I don't get time to post on here every day and so update the score. Error one was believe it or not on 03Aug! I seem to have developed a habit of finding the last score posted for me and adding the day I am thinking about tallying up even though more than one day may have passed in that time ..... not the brightest of moves and clearly not very accurate.

My mammoth re-read cross check and reference to diary, other diary and expenses shows the following to be accurate:
Since 01Aug I have consumed alcohol on the following days:
4/5/10/11/17/19/24/26. The only one I am thoroughly ashamed of is 11 - I really need either get a bit more balanced and adept at new social scenes or decided that tired + emotional + bit unsure + drink is not a good combination. This I am going to work on - trouble is it happens so infrequently (as I avoid new and stressful social times, I have enough in work life to contend with) that it annoys me even more when it does happen (sorry sure there is logic in that somewhere!

Therefore please may I amend my total on the grounds of inability to count days from the current total to the revised total of .... (drum roll)
18 days in August

I also promise to try and count more effectively in the near future.

Been having a think about September and I am away for the first 2 weeks so I think there will have to be a much revised total here of 11 for September.

missmucksmum

Thankyou very much for being so kind it is hard to understand an alcoholic not being a drinker myself (I am not T total just drink on nights out sometimes) my husband is not a big conversationalist and doesnt tell me how he is feeling about things which is quite frustrating, he prefers his own company most of the time secluding himself in the kitchen listening to the radio drinking.

crazymum_2

Hello everyone
It's been a long time.... but I read often to see how everyone's doing, I've just been really busy in life.
I've just been back to Page 10 #184 to re read my emotional outburst - you were and are the most wonderful people and carried me through those times.
I'm still drink free - I have relapsed 3 times but never more than one nights drinking (nobodys perfect). I do understand that I cannot and never will be able to drink nicely.
I spoke to my brother yesterday and hope that he may join you on this thread - he is also an alcoholic, a functional alcoholic (just to make the word sound better). It's in our genes.

Life for me now is pretty wonderful, I wake up in the morning and really rather like the person that I am today. I've lost my issues and inadequacies, I feel good. I would recommend it to anyone who has a problem with drink. I still struggle but I know that I don't ever want to go back to that big dark pit of drinking.

My OH still drinks - he gave up for 2 months but had one night of drinking that turned into another and another. He's trying to control his drinking but I sit and watch and it has the upper hand right now - 3/4 bottle whisky last night. It's a tough one and the only way to control the drink for us is to get rid of it.

Mismucksmum - you will have to find bucket loads of love, strength, patience and understanding. I wish you well and hope you find the strength and time to find help for yourself - you will need it. Alcoholism is a lonely world, your husband probably used to drink alone as he could drink at his own pace and as much as he wanted to - I know, I did it too, going out becomes a problem as you have to fit in with other people. It's a lonely disease and facing up to it is the most lonely, humiliating, shameful thing especially as you know that it is all self inflicted. The desire to jump back into the bottle to hide all the feelings is massive.
I think if you could manage to get to an AA meeting it would help you (and ultimately your OH) - you would never feel alone again as there are many many people out there who understand.
Good luck.

I shall now go back and read the thread - lots of love and good wishes and thankyou everyone for giving me my life back it really is quite wonderful.

missmucksmum

Thankyou crazymum my husband used to pride himself on never drinking in the house but was always in the pub with his friends drinking everyday/night! all of his friends are drinkers, he has to drink at home as we cant afford for him to go to the pub he probably goes about once a week for a couple of pints but I feel I cant trust him around money/alcohol the rehab offers family therapy so will be doing that with him it has been nearly 3 months since we stated to seek help and off his own back he is going to be doing the medicated home detox 2 weeks today. I am going to have a look at AA thankyou x

cheesedoffwithdebt

mrsrainman wrote: »

Morning All!

Welcome cheesedoffwith debt. It sounds like you have done really well so far. You'll find everyone on here really supportive

missmucksmum, Sending you massive hugs :grouphug:. MrR is a functioning alcoholic. I post on here for a couple of reasons. 1. It gives me a place to vent my thoughts and feelings to others who will understand and who will not judge MrR. 2. It gives me some perspective of how it must be from his side.
It sounds like your OH wants to regain control and get his life back which is really good news, although it's sad you had to reach rock bottom first.
Well done for holding it together, especially for your children. Feel free to share on here, and please don't feel alone.

MrsR xx

Thanks mrsrainman it's good to have somewhere to come and be honest, if I'd been able to control my drinking before I wouldn't have ended up in debt, but i don't want to focus on the past, just on the future x

heath480

Welcome to the thread missmucksmum..

As GC said Al-anon is for the relatives and friends of alcoholics.Plenty of meetings in Staffordshire.

AA is for the alcoholic,I have been a member of AA since I got sober.

I also recommend you take a look at the following site

http://www.soberrecovery.com/ it has an excellent friends and families of Alcoholics forum.

Wishing you well.