The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

*Mari*

mrsrainman wrote: »

Hi All

And big hugs to all the pooly people. Hope you all feel better soon.

Well MrR did really well last week, and then Saturday arrived and it all went wrong. 8 bottles in 3 days (Sat, Sun, Mon) I got quite annoyed as I really need him to be sober on sundays and mondays.
I'm hoping he doesn't stop off at the shop tonight.

MrsR xx

Sending BIG hugs to you sweetie, you must be a saint dealing with MrR's drinking. I know how upset, frustrated and angry my DH (and the kids) get when I am on one with the drink. Its one of the many reasons I do really want to get myself sorted and not rely on it as a crutch day in day out. For me its been an ongoing 'issue' for many years, I know I am a nicer person and feel so much better when not drinking, but sometimes it just feels so much of a battle, then I give in and so the cycle continues! I just hope this is the time I can kick it into touch, I am feeling positive, so far:)

Anyway today has been another busy day, I am changing roles at work soon so am trying to leave as little behind for my successor as possible which is proving to be a mammoth task! I addition I have a course tomorrow which I have a load of pre reading to do for so tonight its work and copious cups of tea!

Cuppa Tea how did today go? Hope you are staying strong tonight my dear

Hope everyone who was poorly is feeling better today

Mari xx

missrlr

14 days thank you , frantic preparations for mega early start tomorrow and. Driving so cannot relieve BA of their bar contents either!

CuppaTea

*Mari* wrote: »

Sending BIG hugs to you sweetie, you must be a saint dealing with MrR's drinking. I know how upset, frustrated and angry my DH (and the kids) get when I am on one with the drink. Its one of the many reasons I do really want to get myself sorted and not rely on it as a crutch day in day out. For me its been an ongoing 'issue' for many years, I know I am a nicer person and feel so much better when not drinking, but sometimes it just feels so much of a battle, then I give in and so the cycle continues! I just hope this is the time I can kick it into touch, I am feeling positive, so far:)

Anyway today has been another busy day, I am changing roles at work soon so am trying to leave as little behind for my successor as possible which is proving to be a mammoth task! I addition I have a course tomorrow which I have a load of pre reading to do for so tonight its work and copious cups of tea!

Cuppa Tea how did today go? Hope you are staying strong tonight my dear

Hope everyone who was poorly is feeling better today

Mari xx

Hi Mari, i'm sorry i've let the side down, i was fine until mid afternoon, then I gave in after the thoughts turned appealing in the evening sunshine. But in my defence, nothing silly and I am sitting here with a cuppa now as i type. Big Sigh! Sorry. Well done to you though, praise where due. Would you mind sharing your story as to how you are here? No problem if you'd rather not.:)

Mrs R, i also think you must be a saint, how does Mr R function and hold down a job? I confess I am no saint either so don't want to appear a hypocrit, but just wondering how the dynamics work?

Anyhow i'm off to bed soon, DH isnt home tonight so its up and out early and sorting out the kids solo in the morning.

No.2 v excited about her induction/taster day tomorrow, bless.

*Mari*

Morning all :wave:

It is beautiful here, I am up and still trying to read the last few pages for my course today! But am feeling fab, so all is good

missrlr Good luck with your trip, where are you jetting off too?

Cuppa Tea You didn't let the side down, isn't it all about being where we want to be with it instead of letting it control us?
Hope DD has a fab time today at her new school I love seeing the little ones settling in, they are like sponges just wanting to know how everything ticks.

I don't really know where to start with my story! I'll try ad make it brief. I am 41, live with DH and teenage DS and DD, I work full time in education, which I love. However I come from a family with a history going back forever of drinkers (not that that's an excuse, but sure there are links)When I was young and the kids were little I didn't drink, but as time has gone on and work, family and other stresses have kicked in I seem to have gotten into a habit of having a glass of wine when I got home, which over years became a bottle or more :mad: Over the past maybe 4 years I have on and off tried to cut right down. This seems to work for a while then I fall back into old ways. In the last few months my Father has died and things at work have been really unsettled, this has seen my consumption rocket to new levels. I hate it and my family hate it, if I carry on my relationship with them will be ruined and quite frankly we cannot afford for me to sustain everyday drinking either. As my dear DS pointed out the other day how is it I can buy wine every day, but paying for something (of similar value) which he needed for an exam was a real problem ... so time to sort it once and for all I think! If you feel like it I'd love to know your story too

Anyway, epic post, think you get the gist!

Have a lovely day everyone,

Mari x

PS Shaggy can I please add one more day so that's 4 AFD now please, thank you

de1amo

Get well to all those that are unwell at this time. Not drinking can only help!

İ will add another 4 days. -- today is day 20(20/6).

de1amo

Welcome Mari,

Your story sounds simular to mine. İ am a teacher and know the stresses. İ also have a teenage daughter. The turning point for me was when i had a liver test and it revealed the damage drinking was doing to me internally.
Last weekend was testing because i went to my holiday home and it was always a place i drank heavily but i wanted to get my AF days and i didnt touch a drop--another hurdle negotiated thanks to this thread!
Like you i have cut down in the past but never made it stick but this thread has incentivised me!

*Mari*

de1amo wrote: »

Welcome Mari,

Your story sounds simular to mine. İ am a teacher and know the stresses. İ also have a teenage daughter. The turning point for me was when i had a liver test and it revealed the damage drinking was doing to me internally.
Last weekend was testing because i went to my holiday home and it was always a place i drank heavily but i wanted to get my AF days and i didnt touch a drop--another hurdle negotiated thanks to this thread!
Like you i have cut down in the past but never made it stick but this thread has incentivised me!

This thread certainly does that, my goal is to stick to it and come on here every day, as I have been here before and once I stop posting I start drinking! I obviously need the thought of being accountable to someone/thing to help me along!

Good luck, it sounds like you are doing really well

de1amo

i live in Turkey where alcohol isnt so 'worshipped'--my next test is when i return home to England with the double wammy of a holiday! The Uk relative prices for alcohol is too cheap and i think something will have to be done. İn Turkey a bottle of reasonable wine costs 25 quid and coupled with low wages that really is off putting. A beer when im out is 4 quid which equates to the cost of my meal!--i am much richer now i dont drink!!

CuppaTea

Hi Mari,

Thanks for sharing, very brave of you and it gives me and i'm sure others encouragement.

I can relate to a lot of what you say. I also come from a history of drinkers which has normalised heavy drinking in my mind, i know that sounds like an excuse though.

I didnt drink through either of my pregnancies but I found myself as they got older that I was enjoying a drink or two etc which then got earlier and earlier and I found it helped relieve the pressure of being at home with two young children. Obv I had to stay in control if i was on my own but I knew it was wrong.

Over the years I have found myself at times drinking everyday, sometimes heavy sometimes not, it became as natural to have a drink in the afternoon/evening as it was to have a cuppa in the morning.

I realised how much I was consuming and how it was affecting me and my relationship about 6 months ago, but prior to that i was just ignoring and being in denial, justifying a drink by pressures of life etc.

Now I want to have AF days and I do, but I doubt I could give up totally, my aim is to seriously cut down, which is happening, but not as much as I want to yet. Baby steps I guess.

I just need to remind myself of how much better I feel when I drink nothing or in moderation, plus how much money i'll save too. Plus like you said a nicer person who is more patient with the kids.

I do seem to have an addictive personality as I am also trying to deal with bulimia which I have had for 16 years and I know its worse on days when I drink heavy. My children are unaware but I know the days will come that they will notice and I definitely dont want that.

The thread definitely helps motivate me and makes me feel more accountable, so like you i try to check in daily or if busy every few days.

I've just re-read that and i sound like a total nutcase, maybe I am, but like many of us here, I seem to be functioning and organised and in control of the house, work, kids etc.

I feel sad now looking back at what I've written, doesn't make good reading does it?

mrsrainman

*Mari* wrote: »

Sending BIG hugs to you sweetie, you must be a saint dealing with MrR's drinking. I know how upset, frustrated and angry my DH (and the kids) get when I am on one with the drink. Its one of the many reasons I do really want to get myself sorted and not rely on it as a crutch day in day out. For me its been an ongoing 'issue' for many years, I know I am a nicer person and feel so much better when not drinking, but sometimes it just feels so much of a battle, then I give in and so the cycle continues! I just hope this is the time I can kick it into touch, I am feeling positive, so far:)

Anyway today has been another busy day, I am changing roles at work soon so am trying to leave as little behind for my successor as possible which is proving to be a mammoth task! I addition I have a course tomorrow which I have a load of pre reading to do for so tonight its work and copious cups of tea!

Cuppa Tea how did today go? Hope you are staying strong tonight my dear

Hope everyone who was poorly is feeling better today

Mari xx

I think that's how it must be for MrR. And what your DS said really hit a cord with me. MrR keeps saying how much easier things will be once we've finished paying my dad back what we owe, but he always has the money for alcohol. and it's for that reason I haven't told him I have been getting a £100 per month allowance from my dad. I'd really like to move to a bigger house but I can't save for the deposit on my own. I resent the fact that we sometimes struggle for money but he always has alcohol.
Cuppa, I think he's just so immune to the alcohol it doesn't have an effect on his job. He has been drinking for so many years he is used to being unconscious rather than asleep, and feeling rough in the mornings. He occassionally has to phone in sick because of it.
It is useful for me to come on here and see it from the other side. I do understand that it would be a struggle for him to stop. I'd just like him to try.
Hope your DD has a fab time
de1amo, 25 quid!!!!!! :eek: Blimey!!!
Right, gotta go. Have an exciting day at Baby group!!

MrsR xx

P.S. I do have a rather shiney halo :A