The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 11

PriceySOS

15 please, Shaggy, thanks

bearacus

Shaggy- Well done on your spreadsheet percentages :T xx Love it when you can actually see how well you doing :T

Mackeroo- Always here if you need me :grouphug: xx You hang in there and when your ready I will pull the wagon round so you can jump aboard xx

Crazymum- :grouphug: You are doing so fantastic xx Iam like you and harbour feelings from years ago and for a long time used drink to mask them (not even realising I did). I agree with Tracy and I think counselling is a great tool that can really help resolve issues. Just talking to someone neutral always helps. Of course we are always here if you need us for support x Don't ever feel you can't share xxx

Thankyou everyone for my lovely messages :iloveyou:

I just wanted to answer Chloris but also give background to those who don't know my journey- if noone minds me rabbiting on a bit longer x

I decided after an awful drunken mess (me) in July that enough was enough. Drink was not my friend and it wasn't going to help me get through my mums treatment at all. I suffer panic attacks and had really let them take over my life and of course alcohol makes them worse. My mum really needed me to step up to the plate and be able to rely on me for lifts to the hospital(i hadn't driven for 5 years), support and anything else she needed. I couldn't do that with alcohol in my system.
So I stopped as my mums need outweighed my own wants ( to bury my mums illness and blot out the hurt).
But it wasn't easy at all - My husband stopped too which was a massive help(i don't think i would be as far along if he had been drinking in the house) and we didn't have alcohol in the house. I have been able to do so much since stopping but I m not sure if it will be a forever thing - Im not sure Im that strong.
I now don't mind others drinking in my company, husband drinking in the house, having vodka in the house, going out and me not drinking with friends who are.
I have a massive holiday coming up which I will need Lots of anxiety medication to go on and I normally drink to get me on flights. So in 3 weeks I may be back to drinking .
I prefer my life without but I wish I could be a moderate drinker but i never am. I always fall into a drunken mess at some point.
I hope after my holiday I can say I dint drink but Im not sure.
So it wasn't a conscious decision more something I fell into after a lot of realisation of how alcohol affects me .

bearacus x

crazymum_2

Thankyou for sharing Bearacus - I tend to think of you and Shaggy as the 'grown ups' of the thread which is silly - oh, and Maman of course . It's nice to see that you're just a real person like everyone else.
Have you tried diazepam or something for flying ?? Just a thought, I had them for a prolapsed disc once - and absolutely love them as they make you feel so chilled out. Fortunately the doctor is very wary of giving me any

Thankyou for your comments. Tracy - I just work for a very old couple in their 90s, so they can carry on living at home (best job in the world - they're my favourite people ) and also doing cleaning and gardening for a couple of people. So no counselling available there.

I think that when I get back from seeing my Dad I might go to the doctors and ask them - otherwise AA meetings which I think might help me (I don't know why I havn't gone really, I just keep putting it off).

I'd just like to be able to push a button really to offload it all and be done with it.
At the moment it all just seems to be overflowing and making me cry all the time.
It all feels a bit like when I was in my teens and I got very depressed and muddled with life (difference this time is I've got 6 children and am a Grandma - so depression is not really an option).
I try talking about stuff on my own when I'm out walking the dog - but the dog is obviously not a good counsellor

Hope you all have a good day
PS 60 days AF and 30 days smoke free

PPS Peterbunny missing your posts - hope everything is ok with you.....gardening time is nearly here.

Miss_Piggy_2

Afternoon all

Ok, going to be a long rambly post so prepare yourselves!:D

Shaggy - 19 please (although I'm not hopeful of making it 20 tonight...:()

Crazymum - If its any consolation, I could have written your post. Especially the bit about having no desire for your issues to hurt anyone else, but that they hurt you. I spend a lot of time wondering if the issues I see in life are actually real or whether I'm putting obstacles in the way of me being happy. I really don't know and I'm not sure I ever will. What I HAVE come to accept is that I am a "half empty glass" type of person. It takes a real effort on my part not to see the negative in things. I'm not saying thats how you are, just that you aren't alone in finding it a struggle. As Tracy says, is there some sort of counselling you could take up? Many ((Hugs))


Well, I've had an awful morning. A boy pushed Piglet on way into school. He hurt his hand and was crying. The boy has done things like this before (he's quite rough) and I asked him to apologise. The Mum got involved and we ended up having a stand up row in the playgound (all the kids were in school). She felt its not my right to tell my son to stay away from hers :mad:. The school rang me later about the "incident". I thought I was going to be hauled over the coals but they were lovely, asking if I felt it was a bullying issue. I said No as I don't want to brand anyone a bully. Its just going to make school runs very awkward, and also this Mum helps out in the class once a week too, which I'm now not happy about.:( ARGH! What on earth do I do??

So, am not entirely sure I will be AF tonight. Am praying I will be as I honestly don't think drink will help my mood!!!!:(

Told you it would be a ramble!!

Miss P
xx

maman

Miss_Piggy wrote: »

ARGH! What on earth do I do??
xx

Lovely thing about this thread is we can ramble away and no one minds at all. I think we all have 'issues' from time to time. And I think we all realise that these issues can push us towards seeing having a drink as a solution. For some people it's chocolate (and I can hear lots of you saying it's both:eek:). The great thing is that we recognise it and are using this great thread to try and sort it out.

MissP, what I'd do and what I'd advise may be quite different. By which I mean, maybe easier said than done. I'm a great believer in taking the moral high ground. Of course, we know that her child was in the wrong to push Piglet over but she probably feels he's her child so she has to defend him even when he's wrong. Sadly that's a typical (and IMO foolish) reaction. What I'd do is approach her on Monday and apologise for any upset you've caused today. Explain that you probably should have left it to the boys to sort out between themselves and keeping them apart at school is impossible anyway. I'm sure you don't believe this but it might mean she'll recognise an olive branch when she sees one and apologises for losing it too and probably admits her boy is a bit rough and unpredictable. Either way, you've said your piece, done the right thing and when you see her in future while you don't need to be best buddies at least you can nod politely and avoid any unpleasantness in the playground.

And don't worry, if you [STRIKE]need[/STRIKE] want a drink tonight have one but enjoy it and be moderate.

Sorry to hear others are feeling down too. I'm convinced it's the weather/time of year. I know it doesn't change all the emotional stuff we have but it does affect how we all feel and our ability to cope.

I don't think it's too early to say; IT'S THE WEEKEND!!!!

missrlr

Ok made it out of town home refused the free drinks on offer and just said no to a glass of wine, but DH has cider so currently bells are clanging here

crazymum_2

Miss P - thankyou for your kind words. Sorry you had such a horrible day - Mums and their babies hey, I have, over the years, watched many people falling out over their little lovelies. I have to say, that (I think) Maman is right. It is probably not what you feel like doing.....but in the long run it will be the easiest option.
(((hugs))) because we could all do without things like this in life.

Maman - roll on the sunshine ....I'm sure you're right, it will do us all a lot of good.

tracy_36

Grrrr, as others have said earlier - hit enter after a long post, and it got lost somewhere:mad:

Was saying how I hope the sun coming out tomorrow makes you all feel more positive, certainly cheers me up(thou usually it means I HAVE to do some gardening )

misslr - wd

bearacus - You have done so well! I would not be strong enough to avoid alcohol if someone was drinking in the house - one benefit of being single I suppose..

I have now made it 6 days AF, YAHHHHHHH!!!
Took the kids dog racing tonight, and plans to have tea at a friends tomorrow, so driving everywhere

Sure I was pregnant the last time I had 6 AF days lol

Hope you are all having a good weekend

Tracy

shaggydoo

Morning :hello:

7th AF Friday in a row for me :A



Shaggyx

shaggydoo

Crazymum sending you a big



I've no idea what your issues are and I'm carp at giving advice lol but whenever I feel a little low I count my blessings! 6 Kids sounds like a lot of blessings
I also try not to dwell on stuff (since in the end who doesn''t have stuff?) and find something interesting to do/watch/read. Something that takes my mind of everything and makes me feel good....