Csa Are Out To Get Me.. Helpppppppppppp

purplecatlover

i havent seen anywhere in here where the op has said he wont pay or doesnt want to pay. i think he has every right to be unsure about what to do and nm shouting that he has gotten off lightly for 11 years what if he might have wanted to know and would have paid from the start or had a part in his childs life for the last 11 years? he has lost out on his childs babyhood and childhood because this woman chose not to tell him he might be a father until now, is that fair?

mrbnewc1

I'm not saying that he shouldn't pay maitenance for the kid if it's his, but why would any mother who thought the absent father should be paying maitenance wait 12 years to make the claim.

The blatant cheek of it.

p.s. the maldives was just an example!

Zara33

mrbnewc1 totally agree with you why would anyone wait 12 years is beyond me

kelloggs36

I've already given a totally feasible explanation to why she has waited all this time- have you not read my posts? It is totally unfair to make assumptions of her intentions. She may be a totally honest person who has never had any intentions of contacting the father of her child as she has not wanted to upset him. She may have been able to support herself and her child all this time. However, now, she may have fallen on hard times and has no choice but to claim Income Support. Because of this, the LAW says she must claim child support from the father of her child. She has no choice as she may lose 40% of her benefit. As the benefit isn't very much to live on, a loss of 40% is too much for her to refuse to co-operate. Perhaps her circumstances may change for the better again and she may then be in a postion to cease claiming from the father.

I have only said that the father is lucky to be let off for 12 years because some posters on here have just assumed that she is a vindictive woman who has set out to claim from him deliberately after all this time. None of us know that and it is unfair to assume this.

It is therefore also unfair to say it is a blatant cheek for her to claim - she may HAVE to claim because THE LAW SAYS SHE MUST.

The alleged father has been given advice as to what he needs to do. If he does not believe he is the father, or has doubts at all, he needs to declare these doubts to the CSA and have a DNA test. The fact is that he has not had to pay for all this time, and yes, it may be a shock to him, but if he just goes along with what he needs to do, he will know for sure whether he has fathered the child who, for whatever reason, needs to be supported.

It is the carer's right to claim maintenance from the other parent at the end of the day. Whatever the motives for claiming, that person has already supported the child themselves for all this time and can exercise that right whenever they like. The alleged father does not deny he knew her, and so there is a chance that he is the father of the child.

Perhaps once paternity has been established, he may wish to strike up a relationship with the child? He couldn't before as he had no knowledge, but now may be an opportunity which could be good for the child.

Zara33

Kelloggs36 :eek: calm down for a minute, firstly i just want to point out i found your previous post very rude and abrupt. Generally i agree with all the points you have made regarding PWC and the CSA, but you have to be honest here it is not something you come across everyday now is it?

kelloggs36

Why do you see my post as rude or abrupt? I am not angry, I am just pointing out something that everybody seems to wish to overlook. Nobody has acknowledged that the PWC could have a valid reason - it seems to be totally ignored and the everybody seems to agree that it is totally out of order for her to be claiming after 12 years when there could be a totally innocent reason for it. I am just pointing out that it is never as straight forward as it seems. Yes it may seem odd, but it is not impossible and everybody seems to be judging her negatively. That isn't being rude or abrupt. I am merely pointing out facts nothing more, nothing less. You did say that it was 'beyond me' why anybody would wait 12 years. I have said why, that's all, so it isn't beyond the realms of possiblity.

Zara33

kelloggs36 fair enough

Assuming the NRP is the father, then this man has been denied contact and even knowledege that his son/daughter even exist until 12 years on, he has been told that he might be a father to a child he knows nothing about via the CSA that in itself is a bit cold and harsh. I guess the PWC just overlooked that part also.
I am not disputing the fact that if the OP is the father then he has to pay child support, i certainly do not see any winners in this situation.
The PWC choose to deny the OP the right to know he is a father.

kelloggs36

True enough - maybe she feared his reaction when she found out she was pregnant. Maybe they had already split up and she didn't know where he was? Maybe he made it clear during their relationship that he didn't want children and she took that on board? There are a whole host of reasons why she didn't try and contact him. Maybe she did but he had disappeared - maybe he just refused to talk to her and she decided that it wasn't worth it as he had made his feelings known and she then feared what he would say if she told him she was pregnant. I don't know though. It may also be vindictive, but I doubt this view very much - 11 years is a very long time to wait and if she really wanted revenge, she would probably have sought it long before now.

Scarlett1

Zara33 wrote:

kelloggs36 fair enough

Assuming the NRP is the father, then this man has been denied contact and even knowledege that his son/daughter even exist until 12 years on, he has been told that he might be a father to a child he knows nothing about via the CSA that in itself is a bit cold and harsh. I guess the PWC just overlooked that part also.
I am not disputing the fact that if the OP is the father then he has to pay child support, i certainly do not see any winners in this situation.
The PWC choose to deny the OP the right to know he is a father.

how do you know the PWC chose this , we only have the OP's side of the story and for all we know he is bending the truth (sorry OP ) and knows full well about this child and hasnt wanted anything to do with him/her, maybe the only reason this has come to the surface is because the CSA has only just finally caught up with him after all this time.

little_miss_thrifty

kelloggs36 wrote:

Maybe they had already split up and she didn't know where he was? Maybe she did but he had disappeared .

Maybe i am incorrect, but doesn't the PWC when making a claim, first have to give details of the NRP, including their address, or a possible address, otherwise how would the CSA know where to send the letter? If she knew his address enabling to inform the CSA, why did she at least not write to him at the same address to inform him of him being a father?