Sister in law recycling presents

thatgirlsam

durham_girl wrote: »

Get off your bloody high horse!

I think I might have a handle on the situation better then you. The truth is she LIKES it this way. She has said so herself and nothing anybody has done can change her mind. It's not that she wants to buy better presents but can't, she doesn't care about anybody other than herself and her boyfriend, that goes for the kids too they come second best.

What I hate most is sanctimonious people who go wading in with their overbearing opinions when they don't have a clue about the real life situation. People who makes assumptions which have no basis and proceed to throw them about.

MSE is becoming a very nasty place. Some posters seem to seek out little things to jump on and turn around to suit their own vicious agenda.

If you beleive that you are deluded

Drugs do strange things to people so even if she has said that it won't be true, deep down NO-ONE wants to be a battered druggie

eta - you did say all opinions welcome!

milliebear00001

durham_girl wrote: »

Get off your bloody high horse!

I think I might have a handle on the situation better then you. The truth is she LIKES it this way. She has said so herself and nothing anybody has done can change her mind. It's not that she wants to buy better presents but can't, she doesn't care about anybody other than herself and her boyfriend, that goes for the kids too they come second best.

What I hate most is sanctimonious people who go wading in with their overbearing opinions when they don't have a clue about the real life situation. People who makes assumptions which have no basis and proceed to throw them about.

.

Hmm - pot/kettle?

roses

Getting a gift someone doesn't like doesn't make them ungrateful. How many times does someone receive a gift that was clearly bought because the giver felt obliged to buy something and they went out and got something completely useless?

My dad was given an aerosol of Impulse as a secret santa gift. He didn't like it. Does that make him ungrateful?

victory

How did this thread change from a gift given to the wrong age group to relations taking drink and drugs and being knocked about? Wow that is one hell of a jump

*Robin*

victory wrote: »

How did this thread change from a gift given to the wrong age group to relations taking drink and drugs and being knocked about? Wow that is one hell of a jump

It's not unusual for the real problem to emerge as posts are added to the thread. In this case the OP actually seems to have two separate issues to deal with.

The first one; what to do with the age-inappropriate toys? That's easy. She can either store them for however many years it takes for her child to grow into them, or she can spread some happiness. Have a look here:

http://www.postpals.co.uk/

and here:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=648477107

..Choose a child of the right age and abilities, and pop the unwanted gifts in the post. Turn a frustrating situation into a positive experience and avoid the annoyance being resurrected every time she sees those toys clogging up her cupboards.

The other problem is harder to deal with, but OP can help: By maintaining as good a relationship with her sister's family as possible. The children will certainly benefit from spending time regularly away from their parents at OP's house, and one day those kids may need sanctuary even if the sister will not leave her abusive relationship [yet].

aliasojo

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Ever heard the saying its the thought that counts?

Just be grateful that someone got you a gift!!

I think when it comes to unsuitable/crap gifts, the point is that there's no thought been put into it at all.

In the case of the OP, it was clearly a case of 'that'll do'. (For whatever reason.) Personally I'd rather she didn't bother.

CH27

durham_girl wrote: »

Get off your bloody high horse!

I think I might have a handle on the situation better then you. The truth is she LIKES it this way. She has said so herself and nothing anybody has done can change her mind. It's not that she wants to buy better presents but can't, she doesn't care about anybody other than herself and her boyfriend, that goes for the kids too they come second best.

What I hate most is sanctimonious people who go wading in with their overbearing opinions when they don't have a clue about the real life situation. People who makes assumptions which have no basis and proceed to throw them about.

MSE is becoming a very nasty place. Some posters seem to seek out little things to jump on and turn around to suit their own vicious agenda.

Oh my!
You are the one sounding vicious here.

If you really feel like that about your SIL I suggest you stay out of her life & stop the whole present situation.
She needs understanding & support not ungratefulness.

doodoot

OP, don't take this the wrong way but what you've posted is a rant really isn't it?

"My SIL and bro are drunken druggies who waste their money and lives in a haze, and when it comes to Christmas present-giving they put no thought whatsoever into the gifts they give. It totally winds me up because I DO make the effort!"

The most important thing to understand is that they are addicts, and addicts don't think the same way that non-addicts do.

Hence why she is recycling gifts and giving them to the wrong people.

It isn't the gifts that is winding you up, it's the fact that they are addicts and you can't get your head round why they 'like' being like that.

Trust me, you won't ever understand...just be there if help is requested.

(And please don't think I'm being nasty, I'm making an observation based on personal experience.)

FatVonD

aliasojo wrote: »

I don't have the same interpretation as you at all.

Me neither

basscadette

aliasojo wrote: »

I think when it comes to unsuitable/crap gifts, the point is that there's no thought been put into it at all.

Here here. My FIL's wife seems to be using awful, dirty second hand baby clothes as a way of showing her disdain for her busbands new grandson. For christmas, they got him nothing. Their daughters got him the grossest polyester 'thing' to wear from a charity shop. No thought whatsoever gone into it, apart from the thought of pi**ing me off even more.

Not ALL gifts are gifts. We got laods of innapropraite stuff for christmas but we love it all because it was from our loved ones. The gift from FIL's daughters was, IMHO, a passive agressive insult. They also gave us a christmas card which completely ommitted my son.:mad: