Why do i have to ask?...

Derivative

Above post basically sums up my view.

If you want something doing properly, do it yourself. If you want me to do something, lay it out in plain terms exactly what needs to be done.

It's not "selective blindness", it's simply a different opinion of cleanliness. I like to have all my books in one place, stacked nicely, so I can easily access them. But I won't bat an eyelid at an unwashed mug sitting on the desk for a bit.

Becles

KxMx wrote: »

Well when they want to watch a dvd again they will have to get off their bums and find the remote won't they

I find when consequences are suffered people do alter their habits.

The bairns hardly use the DVD player. It's me who uses it. It still hasn't turned up!

BugglyB

coolcait wrote: »

Nothing at all to do with gender. Left to my own preferences in terms of 'what really matters in life', tidying up wouldn't be top priority.

Your expectations of cleanliness, and how to achieve it, are different from the rest of your family's expectations. Ditto your expectations of 'tidy' and 'what needs doing'.

So, if you want your family to meet your expectations, you'll have to tell them i) what those expectations are, and ii) what you need them to do in order to achieve those expectations.

Don't 'expect' them to read your mind and magically do what you 'expect' them to do - and then mump about the fact that you have a family who have no ESP, and you ended up doing all the work...

My approach to it is:

"This, that and the other needs to be done.

We're doing it between us. We will share out the work - evenly - between us. We'll take ten minutes to decide what everyone is doing, then we'll all start carrying out our tasks.

xboxes, playstations, DS-s, tellys, DVD players, computers, ipods, and any other electronic devices that I haven't thought of (whether we currently own them or not) will be switched of from NOW, UNTIL ALL OF THE WORK IS COMPLETED.

If you have not completed your task, and others have, then it is your job to persuade them that you need help, and your job to explain why you have been unable to complete your task as quickly as they did.

I will not intervene unless serious bickering breaks out, at which point ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED (ALBEIT IMPLICITLY) ELECTRONIC DEVICES WILL BE OFF LIMITS FOR 24 HOURS!!"

It won't appeal to anyone who expects their families to 'just know' what (they think) 'needs to be done'.

But, by all known deities, it works in my house!:eek::eek::rotfl:

(They also know that there will be chocolate -should they wish it - when all tasks are completed).

That might be ok if you're talking about children, but if you're talking about a partner, no. Why not go the whole hog and do them a star chart while you're at it?

Things that grown ups ought to do for themselves (along with wiping their own bottoms) include washing their own work clothes and clearing up their own litter - sweet wrappers, empty yoghurt pots, whatever. Thats not an high expectation, surely?

If one partner works all week and the other doesn't, then its not a problem for the partner at home to do all the cleaning and washing - as long as its acknowledged. Otherwise its just 'invisible work'. There must be some level of acknowledgement and gratitude.