are we the only ones who do this..?

kirstle99

Me & OH also have tried both sides of this.

For the first 4 years of our relationship we had separate accounts, & each paid some bills out of them. Then, we accumulated all our debt (mostly in my name but nonetheless it was all done within our relationship).

After setting up our DMp we decided the best thing for us was to just have 1 account and I would manage the money (OH can do it but admittedly not very well & he doesn't like doing it, whereas me on the other hand loves it).

We've had it this way for 4 1/2 years and it's working well for us, after the debts are paid off in another 5 years (at the most!) i'm not sure what we will do, but most likely we will keep it the same if it's still working & get another joint account for saving/spending

viclspence

Hubby and I have been married for 5 years and have separate accounts. He has been in and out of work for that time so I have always paid ALL bills, mortgage, food etc. We both know exactly what each other spends etc and have access to each others accounts, but we won't have a joint account as its simpler the way it is at the moment.

immoral_angeluk

dorsetlady wrote: »

I won't be well off after he dies. I'll have the house but will have to pay any outstanding balance to his children (who are well off anyway). He did make me sign something to this effect but I don't think that they can legally enforce it. (I have no intention of paying it back in this situation)

I hate to say it, but it sounds like his entire plan is to screw you over financially :eek:

PLEASE speak to someone such as relate about it. Financial control is also a type of domestic abuse....

nick1977

As others have said, different methods will work for different couples.
My OH and I have a joint account for all the bills, a joint credit card for all household expenditure, and then separate current accounts and credit cards. To some this would seem alien but for us it works.
The one thing I love about this, is that you can still treat each other! It's still nice to say "Let's get a Chinese tonight - I'll treat"
More importantly, when it comes to Birthday / Christmas, you have the sense of satisfaction that you have earned / saved to pay for what you give, and for the other person it really is a gift. To me I really struggle with the notion of receiving a present that I've paid towards!
In contrast, my parents share everything completely, so it's not as if I was brought up this way!

Nick

oldtractor

dorsetlady wrote: »

I’m embarrassed to admit it but he doesn’t. I work, not full-time, but 30 hours a week and have to do EVERYTHING in the house too! :embarasse If I'm VERY lucky a get a cup a tea when I get in from work but nothing else. He thinks he is very generous because he's not charging me interest on the money I owe!

Bizarre, and sad .:(