are we the only ones who do this..?

silverbells

im beginning to thimk me and the DH are a bit er.. unique. i have read on here threads previously where people have discussd how they manage their finances between their partners. We have complete financial transparancy. We discuss almost every peny that is spent and always consult eachother for medium-bigger purchases. DH keeps a spending diary and updates it every day. I tried keeping one too but kept forgetting to write in it. i tell him everything i have spent money on and vise versa, even down to coupla pounds in Boots etc. We even know eachothers online passwords and usernames for online banking and can check eachothers if one doesnt have access to a computer. is this OTT? i dont think it is because we are partners in life and are trying hard to save so its important that we are both honest about what what we are spending. I often hear friends/colleagues say things like 'i had to borrow £30 from OH', or 'I have to pay OH back the money i owe him'. i find this starnge as surely there is no 'your money' or 'my money' when you are married/committed? in our house we both earn money and our wages go into separate accounst but we both spend from both accounts. The big bills come out of my account and i do most of the food shopping, DH pays for petrol as i hate filling up, but other than that we just see which account has money in and withdraw from that if we need money. we dont restrict eachother on what we can buy, its just that we tell eachother everything we spend so we can keep accurate record of where our money goes.

what do you think- do you share everything financially?

Standingtall

I think you are blessed:A

I think you must have a fantastic relationship with trust and love in abundance.

I simply applaud you and say appreciate and enjoy what you have:beer:

VfM4meplse

Welcome silverbells.

I think you have a mature attitude to money - this borrowing and paying back business you refer to smacks of distrust. What you're doing is great in theory, it's when things go wrong between couples that this transparency may not work in your mutual favour. Life is not all haha hehe after all, sometimes things don't go to plan for reasons outside of your control.

Sharing banking pins and passwords may well be a breach of the T&Cs, if that's what you want to do why not just get a joint a/c?

I would personally not want to go down this route unless I was marroed to a super-rich MF. Which I'm not .

silverbells

thanks for that standintall that was a lovely comment. in my opinion all relationships should be like this, i;ve seen people fall out badly over money because they dont discuss things with eachother and treat their money separately. perhaps if we werent saving so hard we'd be a bit more relaxed about it but we need to know where all our money is going and where we can save. actually i think even if we werent saving we would do this!! because it just amkes snese to me.. but i know couples who feel they need to keep their money apart and will go shopping and then hide what they've brought-i'd never get away with that-nor would dh!!

rizla01

Very similar to how I have always been. Much easier.

The only difference is that we have always had our own accounts but ALSO a joint account to pay for everything called 'Living' i.e DDs, bills Petrol Etc, which is fed by our private accounts.

In fact her Credit card gets cashback - mine doesn't, so I try to use her one most of the time but both CCs are always paid in full from the joint account.

We are also fotunate inasmuchas we are both 2nd time round and each has family but we have also agreed that when we go it's half/half, regardless.




Just to add that my ol' Mum, bless her, had a shoebox at the bottom of her wardrobe where the remaining unspent money from that weeks allowance went, and at Xmas enabled her to pay for a lot of treats.

Vikipollard

I agree

One question though ~ why two separate accounts instead of one joint one? You share everything so I just wondered

We have a separate account each and a joint one, but that's all about me having been a muppet with money in the past and I won't bore you with the detail on an otherwise inspiring thread!:D

silverbells

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Welcome silverbells.

I think you have a mature attitude to money - this borrowing and paying back business you refer to smacks of distrust. What you're doing is great in theory, it's when things go wrong between couples that this transparency may not work in your mutual favour. Life is not all haha hehe after all, sometimes things don't go to plan for reasons outside of your control.

Sharing banking pins and passwords may well be a breach of the T&Cs, if that's what you want to do why not just get a joint a/c?

I would personally not want to go down this route unless I was marroed to a super-rich MF. Which I'm not .

we do have a joint account but thats for savings. we just find it easier for various reasons to keep it this way for now. may well get a joint account later. its more practicality really, as we don't have access to internet all the time but do most of our banking online so if i cant get online to pay a bill DH can log in to my account and do it for me.

Hiddenidenity

Im single now, but with my Ex he had all the money well no it was a joint account but he kept all the passwords etc secret and kept my card, think he was worried Id run off :rotfl: but seriously it was like that for about 5 years.

If/when I meet someone else I will stick to having my money/his money and some agreement as to how we split the bills.

Its lovely you trust each other so much

VfM4meplse

silverbells wrote: »

in my opinion all relationships should be like this, i;ve seen people fall out badly over money because they dont discuss things with eachother and treat their money separately.

I'd be a little careful as there is just a touch of superiority about your posting. It's working well for you atm as you are working towards shared goals etc...once you get to the financial place you want to be, then other factors will take more prominence. Relationships are not just about money, and life can be very unpredictable. That's when this naive "transparency" will be tested.

Here's a Christmas Eve tale of joy for Subscribers to The Times: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/life/relationships/article3266254.ece

DebtfreeBY40_2

My husband and I do exactly the same but I don't think that makes us anything special, its just how we manage that part of our relationship, what's right for us. Otherwise I think we would argue about what we spent money on. Horses for courses I guess.

quintwins

we share everything aswell, we share an account and everything goes in there except for an old account that our cb goes into that pays our sky and hubbys mobile bill thats only open because we never get round to transfering the dd and cb over, i'm sorta incharge of our money but only because hubby works 9-6 then the rest of the time is spent with us (his choice i don't lock him up) the only reason i have the cards is because it's me buying all the food, clothes and paying the school he does take them when he needs them but we do discuss any purchases above day to day ones and set budgets for things like xmas so we don't know whats been bought but we do know whats been spent

i think it's fab theres far too much stress when people start lying about money or keeoing secrets, i hear people sayings "i bought X but it's ok i'll tell oh it's only cost £10" or "he'll kill em but i'll hide it then when he asks i'll say i've had it for ages" i think this is awful since when was it ok to lie to your partner?