Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

podperson

Morning all,

Thanks for all the nice comments on the video

maman - I have a friend who's similar to your daughter, very smart and has qualifications but does a rather menial min wage job. She loves it though, she says she has no hassle, can be flexible with her hours and gets to spend time with her family - not what I would find satisfying either but I suppose it would be a boring world if we were all the same. Maybe your dd is just wanting to spend as much time as possible with the kids at the moment and when they grow up a little she might want to go back to something more career-based. Agree with you on the charity shops, have only had a quick peek in them lately but seems very little variety for rather expensive prices - I mean I've paid 4-5 quid for things like next tops, designers at debenhams etc. but I'm not going to pay that for a Primark/matalan top when it probably didn't cost much more then that new!

Bitsy - you do sound a little busy at the moment, maybe in the future

evilsquid - hope the cv tweaking helps, it's never easy, I used to live quite near Manchester, albeit in a smaller town and the job market down there seemed awful, was stuck with temping jobs for ages - everything seemed to be going through agencies.

adelight - am so sorry things are looking good for your nan, is she aware of all her visitors, if so am sure she appreciates so many people making an effort. Wish had something better to say but am thinking of you x

Tru - that's a bit how I feel at the moment, need fixing or sorting out at least Would agree with the only rolling a ciggie when you need one, chocolate-wise a friend of mine used to keep a bag of those mini dairy milks in the freezer and just take one out when she needed a choccie fix, cause they were frozen could just nibble on them rather then scoff in one bite so would last her ages.

LL - sorry your parents are being so stubborn about getting some help in, must be very frustrating. Would they accept some subtle help - eg, I made too much for tea last night so brought you a bit to get rid of it - or would that just be propping them up so to speak when they ideally need to see that they just need a bit of help. I know my grandma was just the same, she couldn't stand the thought of having people come into her house and it took a rather bad fall for her to 'have' to have some help in while she recovered and afterwards she'd got used to it by then so when we broached still having them come in she was ok with it. Now she'll chat away about Debbie's kids and Sarah's holiday like they're family friends Sorry, that's probably not much help to you as it's the getting over the initial resistance that's the tricky part. Hope OH's a little brighter today x

Anyways, OH was out filming yet again last night, was planning on finishing downloading my film for film group tonight and watching but of course since I had it planned I was late home, the internet was off until about half 10 so had a very exciting night of crap tv and housework instead :rotfl:Will see if I make it tonight or not - OH was not-too-subtly asking for help with one of assignments but I'm getting a little annoyed with him always leaving until the last min and then seeming to bring it up when I have other plans, that I then have to cancel :mad: Was rather nice yesterday as I got an email from one of the people I did portrait shots of from about a month ago saying she'd had probs with her email but really liked the piccies, also from another woman also a month ago who hadn't received hers and turned out had given me her address wrong. Made me feel a bit better as if I don't hear back from people when I send them photos I kind of assume it's cause they didn't like them and just don't want to say

LameWolf

adelight wrote: »

Hmmph well trying to feel a bit normal and distract myself from getting blubby, I am NOT good with "feelings" type stuff, sorry guys you get the brunt of me!

Hey,adelight isn't that what we're here for? I'm rubbish with offering comforting words, it never comes out right, but please know that you're in my thoughts.:o

evilsquid1603 wrote: »

I'm trying to avoid those pills as much as possible, yes they stopped me getting very low but i did try to kill myself when i first started taking them (it was very half hearted and all i could find in the house was nytol, lemsip and antihistamines. i just had this overwhelming urge to take every drug i could find even though i knew i didn't want to die, it was awful) and when i stopped taking them i was white as a sheet, hallucinating and passing out for days.

Evilsquid, I've been there, mate.:( 'Tis not pleasant. I wish there was something constructive I could do to help your situation, I really do.

bratz81 wrote: »

LL - I hope you don't think too badly of me but I don't feel able to read that thread. After being mentally and physically abused by my mother and first husband - until only around 4 yeas ago - I just don't feel strong enough to read it without setting myself back.

It seems this sort of thing is a lot more prevalent than people realise.:( Bratz have a virtual (((HUG)))

Tru I used to roll my own, too - I got it so that I could have just a few threads of tobacco.:D Before LL tells me off though, I have to say, I haven't smoked for almost 10 years now.;)

I have been thinking lately though, maybe people need a "naughty" treat? As I said, I don't smoke anymore; not supposed to drink due to being on morphine, and don't have a sweet tooth so I can take or leave chocolate (there's some in a jar on the shelf that's been there for ages - I forget it's there, and if I remember, I can't be bothered with it). All the things I used to like are physically (and financially) beyond me now (horseriding comes to mind, specifically).

Lol, I remember scandalising the rheumatology nurse at the hossy once - she wanted me to wear nasty metal wrist splints at night, and my reply was "that'll do wonders for my personal life, won't it?" I think she was one of those who thought that disabled folks don't have a libido.:D 'Twas the one thing left to me..... but unfortunately Mr LW seems to have lost interest the past few months, so even that's gone now.:(

Oh well.... *shrugs* At least we had dry walkies this morning - we nipped out in between showers! I did still put on the wet weather gear though, just in case.;)

WelshWoofer

Evening ladies.
I'm absolutely shattered - haven't stopped all day, its been bonkers at work. Friday tomorrow though thankfully.

Reading through the recent posts it seems that we are in need of a bit of cheering up. I'm not sure what would fit the bill for us all but perhaps we could try to inject a weeny bit of positivity for each of us by suggesting something nice to do, have, look forward to or indulge in that won't break the bank or be more trouble than its worth?

My little treat tonight will be a glass of wine and a bath and flop on the sofa in front of the soaps (book club is out of the window I'm afraid for this week, too tired and totally bedraggled after dogwalking in the flipping pouring rain:o).
I need a little bit of down time when I'm not waking up thinking about work or half way through a domestic project. My mum told me I needed a holiday and she's absolutely right - just the small matter of where to go, who to go with (if anyone) and how to pay for it all:rotfl:

Have tried to be a bit nicer to myself after a yukky day by resisting a takeaway and making do with what was actually a very tasty tea of a quiche from the freezer (bunged in the oven frozen but came out ok) and some aging salad from the fridge. Feel much more virtuous:A

I think its this bloody awful weather thats getting us down - its like winter here - torrential rain, cold wind and dark dull days.
Lets all pretend we're in the Bahamas ..........;)

lessonlearned

WelshWoofer wrote: »

Reading through the recent posts it seems that we are in need of a bit of cheering up. I'm not sure what would fit the bill for us all but perhaps we could try to inject a weeny bit of positivity for each of us by suggesting something nice to do, have, look forward to or indulge in that won't break the bank or be more trouble than its worth?

My little treat tonight will be a glass of wine and a bath and flop on the sofa in front of the soaps

Lets all pretend we're in the Bahamas ..........;)

My cheer up treat tonight was lolling on the sofa watching "The Good Wife" - American Legal Eagle series. Love the clothes - and just love all the scheming and back stabbing that goes on. :rotfl: Cup of tea and just one choccie biscuit.

Don't forget tomorrow (today) is Fab Friday. - get the glad rags on.

tru

The only member of my family to have diabetes is my mum. I can't remember what type but it's not too bad. She has to do the finger prick test and controls it by diet, no insulin involved.

I had lots of blood tests not too long ago, everything's OK. I just want to make sure I stop it before it starts, which it will if I carry on the way I am. Or shoud say - WAS. I was very good yesterday

Fab Friday you say? I have to clean out the chicken shed and two guinea pig hutches. Can I just pretend I'm in a spa and having a mud bath treatment instead?? :rotfl:

dannie

Hi folks,

Still around and reading your posts thanks.

First of all, sorry lessonlearned could not cope with reading the thread you mentioned. Secondly, your post regarding being resourceful was interesting as this year I'd like to check/use up resources at home this year. Trying to do this in relation to this thread sometimes. Can make me feel "fab".

Recently, made a homemade hair colourant but it did not work but the experience was fun trying. Might try a purchased one next? Apart from that, still the usual themes to "defrump" myself.

lessonlearned

LameWolf wrote: »

] I think she was one of those who thought that disabled folks don't have a libido.:D 'Twas the one thing left to me..... but unfortunately Mr LW seems to have lost interest the past few months, so even that's gone now.:(

Is Mr LW OK, stressed, tired, anxious etc.

TBH when someone is seriously ill/disabled this can be a very tricky area. I don't think that people "disapprove" as such it's just that it can be very tricky to get your head round - medical staff are well aware of this. Admittedly some people are less than tactful.:o

It's not that they think a disabled person shouldn't be entitled to a sex life - its just they appreciate it's not always as simple as it sounds - and not just because of any physical limitations or obstacles.

Sorry if this is TMI but if it helps anyone I will give you a carer's perspective.

Whilst OH was reasonably mobile etc I felt perfectly happy and confident to continue with a happy and fulfilled "personal" life.

However, once OH became permanently wheelchair bound and as his health continued to deteriorate I became more of a nurse and less of a wife. The physical side of things ceased.

I often felt guilty because I know my OH was a bit disappointed but I just couldn't resolve the mental conflict caused by my dual role as nurse/wife. I can't really explain it except it just felt like a line had been crossed.

Perhaps if I had got professional carers in at an earlier stage this might not have happened - I don't know.

This is one of the reasons why I would advocate extreme caution about spouses and partners assuming too much of a carer's role.

Quite apart from the physical strain, the tiredness, the worry, the responsibility and all that being a carer entails, when one of you becomes a carer it does affect the dynamics of a relationship.

It may be that Mr LW is simply worn out or, and this is the best way I can describe it - it may be that "the lover" has been subsumed into "the carer".

I know that's what happened to me (and yes for what it's worth I do miss a bit of the old "slap and tickle":rotfl:) and I know that it has happened to others. I've talked to other carers about this and I'm by no means alone in this.

I don't know quite how or why but once the serious caring and nursing takes over then it's as if a switch goes off and you cannot think of your loved one in the same way again. It just "feels" wrong somehow.

podperson

Hi all,

LW - I completely agree that having treats is a good plan. Although I know I used to be quite bad in using food as a 'treat' and am trying to move away from that. The problem I'm having at the moment is that the things I was trying to do instead, eg curl up with a book, watch a good film, have a bit of a pamper take up a bit of time whereas scoffing some chocolate only takes a few mins Regarding your 'personal life' while I think LL is very brave for sharing her own experience am I right in thinking that Mr LW has been looking after you for a while now and this is only a recent thing? Also from what you've been saying it sounds at the moment like he's been stuck working long hours and having to get home late - maybe he's just feeling tired/stressed/overworked and it's easy for that to affect things.

Anyway, didn't get out last night, ended up helping OH with his work most of the night so wasn't too happy. Then he turns round and says 'oh, well you can relax and have a drink with us tomorrow night' - which is the first I hear of him asking a load of people round. I'm traffic surveying on Sat and start at 6.30am so could really do with not being kept up half the night with them being noisy - but apparently he doesn't remember the 3 times I told him I was doing it :mad: I give up today!

LameWolf

Thank you, LL and Podperson; Mr LW has looked after me for coming up to 10 years; I was already disabled and needing a carer when he asked me to move in with him, which I did on 27th May 2002, so he never actually knew me when I was fully functional.:o

We've always used our ingenuity to try to keep the amount he has to do for me to a minimum; and we've spent my DLA money on equipment to help (last big purchase was the bath lift) so I hope to goodness I'm not wearing him out with caring duties.

LL's question about his work is a good one - they've been giving him a lot to do lately, even mucking him about and requiring him to stay late on days he was supposed to be on normal hours; so that's a very good point.

He's got Monday and Tuesday off next week (for Beltane celebrations) and we have a week away at the end of May - perhaps a break will do him good.

However, it seems he'd rather sit up til silly o'clock playing Skyrim on the PC than - er - "anything else" these days, so maybe it's just that the novelty has worn off.:cool:

Anyways, I finally have an appointment with the physio-terrorist about my shoulder - 15:30 on 8th May; so I hope to goodness that it does some good.:o

We're having veggie bangers'n'mash for our dins tonight; Mr LW has prepped the spuds and left them in a bowl of water; the rest I can manage to do myself as long as I take care.;) I made a carrot'n'orange cake earlier in the week; we can have the tail end of that by way of dessert.;)

adelight

Physio-terrorist hahaha good luck lw
Pod person hugs hope they pipe down
I'm currently on a train back to uni :-( my uni want me in person to discuss extensions. The dietician popped in the room while I was with nan today and said there are special nutritionally dense drinks, soups and yogurts available for her as she won't have solids butBoone had told us this! In a hour I got her to have a 300 calorie drink, cup of tea and some ice ceam which is more than she's had in the last three days! People have been saying "do you want? " but it's her personality to say no. Ask "will you?" and she says yes. I'm hoping my sister will get her to have the same again later so she will at least have the energy to roll over when she wants to. Ho hum hoping uni give me an extension so I can visit again