Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

Bitsy_Beans

Podperson what a nightmare :mad: I can't advise but hope student advisory service can help you xx

LW - sending you very gentle wolfie hugs for your shoulder xx

podperson

Thanks guys - it just seems to be getting worse! Emailed the advisory people like it said on their website and they replied saying I need to phone in, called and apparently they will only speak to OH - who is not back until tonight and out all day tom. Tried calling the finance people back to try and sort something for the meantime just to get him unblocked, offered them £30 a month and they said there's no way will accept that, asked them what kind of figure they were looking for and they said they normally ask for £300 a month and that's when just one year is owing and we have two :eek: Am sat at work in tears now as the finance people were so unhelpful and basically made out it was all our own fault and they were going to withdraw him if we couldn't sort this. So am stuck with the advisory people if we can ever get booked in with them! Totally agree Lizzie, everyone seems to like to make things as difficult as possible for you - hope things get better for you soon x

lessonlearned

PP - I just wanted to express my sympathy for your predicament. I'm am so so sorry for what you are going through.

I know both from this post and your posts on the "Millionaire Thread" how hard you are working to improve your situation, how you want to better yourself and stand on your own two feet.

I cannot (actually, given my own experiences over the last few years, I can, only too well) understand why and how these things happen, how "the powers that be" can be so deliberately and wilfully unhelpful, how awful and helpless they can make you feel, how they rob you of your dignity, how they weaken your resolve - I could go on and on but won't.

It seems to me that we have a system so broken, so skewered in favour of those who will not attempt to help themselves, who would rather spend the day on the sofa or down the pub, and who know how to milk the system for all its worth, that anyone who is half decent and who wants to better themselves and be independent is treated with utter contempt and refused any help.

I really hope that you can negotiate with these people and come to some sort of arrangement. Are they aware that your OH needs access so that he can complete his final projects. All you are asking for is a short breathing space of what - three months or so??

I know that my situation is somewhat different but in some ways I am experiencing similar difficulties to you and Lizzie, and probably loads of others. All I've been asking for is a few months respite and a bit of a breathing space to help me over a temporary financial blip. This is I might add - after a lifetime of work, never claiming a penny from the state, and paying into their system for years on end - handsomely I might add.

Whilst initially money was always tight we worked hard to buy a house and provide for our boys. As the years passed our hard work paid off and both OH and I became high earners, running our own companies and paying a small fortune in taxes of one sort or another - one year alone we paid over £40,000 into the system from our hard earned money. Plus of course all the money we have saved the NHS by paying for own medical and dental care in the past, and then of course me diligently playing the nurse for 6 years, saving the state an absolute fortune.

Now when I need a little help to tide me over I'm forced to beg and grovel. Their latest wheeze is that they will not help with my mortgage payments. If we had not bothered to scrimp and save and do without but had squandered all our money on holidays, nights out, designer clothes etc and not bothered to buy our own home I would now have my rent paid for me. :mad::mad:

Where is the fairness in that.

I know I quote my Aunty S a lot and you are probably bored stupid, but as I live and breathe, she was so right - do not rely on the state - when you need it - it won't help you.

Why do some people get everything they need or want (and even more) just handed to them on a plate. Why do the lazy loafers find it so easy to manipulate the system. If I had 5 kids by 5 different fathers and went in to their office "effing & blinding", being rude, aggressive and thoroughly obnoxious I would get what I wanted because they wouldn't risk upsetting me.

I'm sorry if any of you think I'm exaggerating but I've been to the DWP's offices etc and the things I've witnessed:eek::eek: I could tell you stories that would make your hair stand on end. :mad:

PP - I don't really how to advise you, I don't know what strings to pull - if I did I'd be pulling them myself. I do hope that the Advisory Service can help you and that you get some help soon.

WelshWoofer

PP - no words of wisdom but just a big hug - hope you can get it sorted out, the stress can't be doing either of you any good

LL - I so agree. It seems that if you try to help yourself you last in the queue when you need somone else's help.

Just an update on the girl I was telling you about yesterday. She was in school today, she was only about 6-7 weeks pregnant and was given a chemical termination (tablets) so still awful for her but a bit less traumatic than it could have been. She's told her aunt and they're telling her parents tonight. I spent about half an hour just chatting over lunch and she seems quite grounded and sensible and wanted to finish her education (college) etc before a family but its still very upsetting. It was a genuine accident - on the pill etc. Poor love.


On the fab front, I had a sneaky mid week weigh today and the scales have moved a bit - will wait until Saturday for a proper report but it has encouraged me to carry on. I feel less bloated too - so all moving in the right direction.:D

Two more days left to work and to add insult to injury its yet another parents evening tomorrow so a late night.
Going to have a nice relaxing bath and defuzz, file, general tidy of the body tonight and watch a bit of telly in rebellion to the afront of having to work tomorrow night!

LW - hope the shoulder isn't too bad?

Savvy_sewing

I pushed the boat out today and I had a massage at the local Leisure centre, where there is a Beauty treatment place. It was heaven!.
Alas at £35 a pop, I will have to earn extra money, (Or not help the kids more like) so that I can go again.

My councillor said that I now have colour coming in my face, that I look much better and not so Grey as I was when i first walked into the sessions.
I do feel much better, and more calm, and accepting of my situations. It all helps.
His "homework" was for me to take care of the package, the whole envelope he said. Hair, nails etc and he had asked me what type of earrings I wear. Was it stud or drop. I have holes in my ears, but never really wear anything these days.
So my mission this week, is to pamper myself.
As I am going to Bristol for the Old Style meet this weekend, I am having a little bit of a break. two nights in a B & B, so I will do my best to make a good go of taking care of myself. Bit of an indulgence, and worry about which part of the banking I rob, as in peter to pay paul. I dont intend to actually rob a bank you understand!.

LameWolf

Thanks WW (and thanks for the hug, Bitsy), it'll sort itself out in the fullness of time, I'm sure.:o The trouble started when the rheumy withdrew my Plaquenil last September; I was in agony within a very short space of time. Anyways, I wrote to her and begged to have it reinstated, which she did, but the shoulder's still giving me trouble; I can often hear (and feel) it sort of "scrunching" when I move it; and of course, it had to be my left side, and I'm left-handed, so every time I try and do a spot of high-up dusting, I set it off again. But I can't just sit and let the cobwebs build up, that'd be even worse!:eek: I think we must have the most industrious spiders in the country!:D

Anyways, I'm trying for a bit of fabbing for our insides - I've made a nut loaf (to be sliced for the freezer) and a blackberry and apple crumble with an oat and cinnamon top, this afternoon.:drool:

podperson

Thanks for the kind words, it is really appreciated. OH managed to call the advisory people today and we have an appointment on Monday with them - mid-morning so will have to take at least a half day holiday to try and sort this! Just hope they can manage to get something sorted for us. The finance people were just so unhelpful on the phone, I told them I knew the payment was quite low but we could review in a few months when OH finishes and can start looking for some summer work and I might be able to be getting some extra bits of cash in but they just didn't want to know

Completely agree LL that it just seems so unfair that people can sit around on their backsides and get everything handed to them, while if you work hard and really try to get somewhere it seems like these organisations just try and shoot you down.

Anyway, bless him, OH is being the positive one and telling me we can't let it make us negative and distract us from what we're trying to do at the moment - and he is right. He's also managed to borrow me a camera for this weekend, so he's my superstar right now Hoping even more for the shoots to go well now as if I can get some decent shots to show as examples then can look at charging a bit next time and get some extra cash in.

bratz81

podperson - it seems like such a nightmare, I really hope things get sorted for you and your OH.

LL - I also agree with your sentiments. I was talking to a friend last night who was very ill for a long long time, was on very strong painkillers mixed with morphine which rotted his teeth away. So now he's off them and a bit better they've decided to take him into hospital to remove all the problem teeth then his dentist can fix it, with implants/dentures etc.

He's worried about paying for them as he's still not well enough to work, although he wants to, so I said, you're on benefits due to being sick right, do you not get some help? Apparently no as he's 'only' on Incapacity Benefit, he's not sick enough for DLA, and not on JSA as he's ill and you only get assistance on DLA or JSA. So I asked how sick do you have to be to get on DLA and he's not sure but apparently sicker than he is.

I can't find the logic in there, I really can't. He's been pretty depressed for a long time too, and if he makes the most of his depression to the benefits people he can get DLA but he doesn't want to play the system.

Savvy_sewing

I have been battling with the system too. I believe that I should be able to get DLA, but I am told that I am not bad enough.
As long as I can heat a meal, in a microwave, lift a cup to my mouth, and walk with a stick. I am not disabled.
I too am left handed, and its my left side that is affected by my cervical spondylosis. I have had this for 5 years now, and had to leave work 4 years ago.
Times are difficult and frustrating. I couldnt get the extra help for Heating, etc as I was on the wrong type of ESA. There are contributions based, and earnings based. So becuase I have paid my dues all my life, I am not entitled to some of the benefits, however if I was on the opposite ESA (exactly the same money, just different pot), I would have been!!
Its a nightmare.
I can get the Independant Living Allowance to pay for a carer though? But I cannot get a blue badge?
Its a stupid system.
Today I look and feel a total mess. I didnt get my morning shower, first thing, and I need to get that done, as my hair is greasy. Horrible feeling.
The house is a mess as I was too sore to do it last night. So its shouting at me that the house is imploding!.
Time to get off of the laptop, and no matter how painful it is. I have to get on.

LameWolf

Mooloo (((HUGS))) if I was in a bit better shape myself (and had transport) I'd come and help you do your housework. Between you, me and Molly I reckon we could do a good job on all our three homes.;)

I feel guilty reading how so many of you are struggling to get your entitlements; when I was last re-assessed for DLA, I was originally on high rate mobility and middle rate personal care; the Doctor came to the house to assess me, did all sorts of pushing and poking me about (she even drew on my legs in biro - gods know what that was about!), and had me in tears with the pain before she left. When I got my letter, they'd put me up to high rate personal care. I didn't ask for this to happen, it was obviously based on the Doctor's observations; and I answered all her questions truthfully, as did Mr LW, who of course had to be here with me or I wouldn't have coped with the visit.:eek:

I was quite upset at the time - as I say, I didn't ask to have the rate increased, and was shocked that I was considered bad enough to warrant high rate personal care - I'd just regarded my situation as "that's how it is, and there's not a lot I can do about it"; and I'm feeling bad about it all over again, not because I'm any better, but because so many of you are metaphorically banging your heads against a brick wall to get anything at all.:(

Bratz I hadn't realised morphine could rot the teeth.:eek: Perhaps it's a good thing I don't have any of my own left, then (had dentures since I was in my mid 20's). I hope your friend can get dentures or implants sorted; admittedly, when I had a full set of dentures made recently (my old ones were seven years old and didn't fit properly any more) it cost a couple of quid short of a thousand pounds; but that was done privately. Is he seeing an NHS dentist? Is that even any less expensive?:eek: