How to manage inlaws on their long visits

gingin_2

Mayflower10cat wrote: »

Oh I could go on. But I don't want to hijack the thread! Happy Christmas everyone xx

No, no! You must hijack! I can sense a bit of solidarity coming through on this thread.

I like to cook too but have given up on the fancy meals. Last visit MIL insisted on trying to cook so I just let her go ahead - Oh and I like spicy food and they don't really and she despreately wanted to please so she made us this bizarre mince curry with hot bananas in. On tuesday she made us thai green curry with brussel sprouts - it actually tasted quite good!

I've just sat and had breakfast with them and feel like a real meanie knowing what I have written on here because they mean so well.

balletshoes

you're not a meanie, you're all muddling through it as best you can, and I know exactly what you mean about having to escape your normal haven of your own home, just for some distance and space.

ninnoodle

Hi gingin, I have a similar problem with my FIL and his wife. They too come to visit from a country that is the other side of the world. While his wife is lovely, and he is er, 'bearable' it is so boring having to hear the same stories over and over again, pointless chit chat and exclamations, not really conversation. Also, I can't even make conversation because he doesn't listen, just cuts over anything I say with his own pointless conversation. Sigh.
Anyway, what they ended up doing was buy a big caravan - we went halfs with them on it. The reasoning behind it was they could tour the country if they so wished while they were here. Take off and have a wee break. And me and my OH could use it at other times. In reality this never happened - they stayed in one campsite near us for 3 months, but it meant they were out our hair and not intruding but they were sold on the idea that they could visit but have some 'freedom' at the same time. They also loved it, as think they also appreciated their own space, much as they wanted to come and see my OH and family. This might be a good option you could explore?

Sambucus_Nigra

Can you surprise them by contacting any friends they may have and arranging for them to 'visit'...now you are going to say they have no other friends here aren't you?

FatVonD

Buy yourself a bottle of wine, some nice treats and a new book, stash them under your bed then say you have migraine and are taking yourself off to bed in a darkened room and you must not be disturbed

967stuart

What do you do when they are not there ?

Any

I like this thread. It is funny how people are different!!
My ILs live near us, so we just have short visits but in past we went away for long weekend as a whole family and I found that tough.

Someone said their ILs only sit in front of the TV - well, I had the exactly opposite problem (my ILs have TV hidden behind a plant, TV is on twice a week!!)!! We work long hours and I spend most of weekends doing Uni work as well and when I get holidays (not many as many goes on studies) I just want to rest. Spa hotel, lovely. But my ILs constantly wanted to walk somewhere, on the beach, in the hills, for no obvious reason just to get fresh air and set off at 7am - no later then that!!

I then one day point blank refused, and it took years before my MIL stopped having a dig at me (humourously, but it annoyed the hell out of me) that maybe one day they might get me to walk somewhere!! (I would like to point out I walk 2 miles every other weekend from station to my Uni and walk other journeys... I just don't like just walking around, if you tell me we are going for lunch and it is 5 miles I have no problem, but just walk around it's not my thing!)

We are now supposed to spend whole week with them in countryside next year... as much as I am glad for having O.k. in laws, I am not sure how that is going to pan out!!

:-))

BitterAndTwisted

gingin wrote: »

this bizarre mince curry with hot bananas in.

thai green curry with brussel sprouts

Oh my Lord! Lollingtons.

What's the matter, are Kiwis "special" in some way or is that the sort of stuff they normally eat back home?

Honestly, you're quite lucky really, although you don't really know it. At least they sound quite well-meaning, It could all be so very much worse.

Like having to tolerate someone like my poor sister's mother-in-law who is so argumentative she could probably have a ruddy good row in an empty room. She goes on and on about the most trivial and deeply uninteresting things. Tried to start an argument at Christmas dinner about how she didn't like carrots and would not accept that anyone else in the world could like them. That we were all liars and disagreeing with her just to upset her. I had a completely overwhelming urge to slap her silly face. And she's an old woman in her eighties. I had to leave the house and go for a walk. Most probably certifiable.

gingin_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Oh my Lord! Lollingtons.

What's the matter, are Kiwis "special" in some way or is that the sort of stuff they normally eat back home?

.

Definitely special in their own way but they eat very plain food and I think she just wants to try and cook something that she thinks we will like.

gingin_2

ninnoodle wrote: »

Hi gingin, I have a similar problem with my FIL and his wife. They too come to visit from a country that is the other side of the world. While his wife is lovely, and he is er, 'bearable' it is so boring having to hear the same stories over and over again, pointless chit chat and exclamations, not really conversation. Also, I can't even make conversation because he doesn't listen, just cuts over anything I say with his own pointless conversation. Sigh.
Anyway, what they ended up doing was buy a big caravan - we went halfs with them on it. The reasoning behind it was they could tour the country if they so wished while they were here. Take off and have a wee break. And me and my OH could use it at other times. In reality this never happened - they stayed in one campsite near us for 3 months, but it meant they were out our hair and not intruding but they were sold on the idea that they could visit but have some 'freedom' at the same time. They also loved it, as think they also appreciated their own space, much as they wanted to come and see my OH and family. This might be a good option you could explore?

It sounds like a fantastic idea but mine won't drive or really go anywhere. In the past we have paid for them to go on a European couch tour but we just can't afford to do it these days. I live in a beautiful city, you can walk to some amazing, historic places from my house but never once have they taken the initiative to go and see any of them.