Tent for Homeless man

Lotus-eater

sock-knitter wrote: »

homless people where i live have access to hostels, there are a few around, they have access to showers, cooking facilities, washing machine/dryers as well as a bed.
just because someone looks clean dosent mean they cant be homeless.
also as someone else said they could be sleeping at friends or families, as i had to when i became homeless with 2 young kids after the breakdown of my marriage

Even more reason to ask him what he actually wants and not what you think he needs

Although I seem to be in the minority of one here I've never seen such an absence of common sense on here tbh.

sock-knitter

i'd have to agree with lotus eater here, and say it would propably have been a better idea to have asked what he needs first.

most homeless people if in a hostel also have access to benefits too

JimmyTheWig

I think that buying a present shows that you've really thought about this guy and what he'd want.
The feeling that someone's put that much time and thought into _him_ is something that will stay with him for a long time.

That's why I think it's better that the OP went out and bought something rather than giving the cash or asking him.

Lotus-eater

See I look at it in a different way.

I'm on the street, someone comes up to me, says how are you and gives me a present of a rucksack with some stuff in it. Then walks off, feeling very happy about themselves.
I look in the rucksack, find that it's ok, but there isn't much I can use.

Or, someone stops and talks to me, asks me how I am. Is interested enough to ask me what I need and what I could really use. Comes back later with what I need. It may not cost as much as the previous persons stuff, but it's more specific and I need it.
This person really cares about me, is interested, not just making themselves feel better about giving a homeless person something at Christmas.

JimmyTheWig

A perfectly valid way of looking at it, Lotus-eater.
I guess it sort of depends on whether there is stuff that he really does need/want.

Lotus-eater

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

A perfectly valid way of looking at it, Lotus-eater.
I guess it sort of depends on whether there is stuff that he really does need/want.

Right.

And how do you know that without asking him?

Gazing_On_Sunsets

To offer another side... it can be extraordinarily difficult to converse on a genuine level with someone whose situation is so vastly different to your own. I work with prisoners and at first I, like most staff, wasn't sure what to expect and felt very concerned on what to say/how to behave. We're influenced by media and other preconceptions to think of the homeless as "other". And of course, you don't want to give offence. You can end up on tiptoes trying to "do the right thing" and something so simple as asking someone becomes a huge issue.

It *shouldn't* be, of course. We all know that. But the reality is, for many people, they can feel so awkward that it is easier to give something rather than ask.. Asking is the ideal. But we shouldn't decide to do nothing at all simply because we can't quite do the ideal thing.

And who knows. After one act like this, perhaps the OP or anyone else reading and thinking about this may then, next week, exchange a few words. And a week after, speak more. Person to person.

forgottendreams

CATS - what happened with this in the end?

~Chameleon~

Forgot I'd subscribed to this thread. Would love to know too

Justicia

Isn't it more than a little strange that the OP made quite a few replies to this thread, but then disappeared... Yet, has posted repeatedly within other threads since...??