Putting home into family trust to avoid nursing home fees

PasturesNew

My mum had dementia, so thought the nice home we'd found for her was "all free". As we didn't want to rock the boat and find she'd packed and wanted to come "home" (her house I'd sold to pay for it, under PoA), we kept reminding her it was free and smiling/saying "That's good isn't it, and to think it's all free!". Kept her smiling

So long as she had £2 in her purse she felt she had money - she was always independent about "having her own money" and always did part-time jobs so she felt that freedom/independence.

Dementia can be a curse, but sometimes it's a blessing if you're randomly able to enforce a convenient lie.

Mojisola

PasturesNew wrote: »

Dementia can be a curse, but sometimes it's a blessing if you're randomly able to enforce a convenient lie.

That's very true.

A friend used to go on holiday with her mother every year and they treated themselves to very good hotels.

After her mother's care needs required 24/7 care, the daughter found a good care home for her. Mother was convinced that she was on holiday and told her daughter during every visit "I'm so pleased we chose this hotel. I think we should book to come again next year."

missbiggles1

Errata wrote: »

My good friend bullied me, in the nicest kindest way, into buying a small conservatory. It gives me more pleasure than I could ever have imagined and I think of her every time I sit in it, and the Buddhist 'thought for the day' I've learned to live by *Every morning when I wake I say to myself I might die today*. It's surprising how that thought puts a positive spin on the day.

Love the conservatory, hate the Buddhist thought - really depressing. I'll stick with the mantra that got me through my mastectomy -

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

lessonlearned

As some may know I went to say my goodbyes to FIL last week. He now lives in Scotland, im in derbyshire.

He's 93, didnt know me from Adam, didn't redognise photos of his only son., now deceased. We had about 30 seconds of lucidity then the shutters came down again.

He is currently reliving WW2, Coventry has just been bombed. He did his apprenticeship,in Coventry before he joined the army. Apart from thAt he is quite happy, he thinks he's has nearly £1m in the bank (he hasn't lol). The home is lovely and he's well cared for. SIL lives a few miles away and visits him regularly. It's the best we can do under the circumstances.

He is self funding, has a reasonable income with a couple of private pensions, but we still need to raid his savings to the tune of 2k a month. I just hope adult social services pick up the tab if the money runs out and he can remain where he is.

I would hate him to have to suffer the trauma of another move at this stage.

Pollycat

From AgeUK website:

Currently, if you have assets of more than £23,250, you will need to pay the full cost of your care.

Keep an eye on your FIL's money and get in touch with local Social Services when he's getting close to that amount.

lessonlearned

Yes we will do. Obviously SIL, His daughter, is the banker and has POA etc.

She's pretty switched on and clued up.

Errata

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Love the conservatory, hate the Buddhist thought - really depressing. I'll stick with the mantra that got me through my mastectomy -

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

Fair enough; different strokes for different folks:)

pollypenny

Errata wrote: »

My good friend bullied me, in the nicest kindest way, into buying a small conservatory. It gives me more pleasure than I could ever have imagined and I think of her every time I sit in it, and the Buddhist 'thought for the day' I've learned to live by *Every morning when I wake I say to myself I might die today*. It's surprising how that thought puts a positive spin on the day.

OH nagged me for years, in his usual Chinese torture way, for a conservatory. I spent most of last summer lounging in it and made a good start this year. He was right- for once!

seven-day-weekend

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Love the conservatory, hate the Buddhist thought - really depressing. I'll stick with the mantra that got me through my mastectomy -

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

We are having a quote and plans drawn up for a conservatory/orangery tomorrow

Didn't like the way the Buddhist thought was worded (depressing), but agreed with the sentiment - Christianity has a similar saying, which is 'Live every day as though it is your last'.

I like the Julian of Norwich quote that you mentioned also, and am glad it helped you.

I've often thought about The Buddha though.....if he was supposed to have got it all sorted, why was he so very morbidly obese?:rotfl:

missile

pollypenny wrote: »

OH nagged me for years, in his usual Chinese torture way, for a conservatory. I spent most of last summer lounging in it and made a good start this year. He was right- for once!

Surely that was the second time he was right ?? Or was it a mistake to marry you ?? <LOL>