Putting home into family trust to avoid nursing home fees

lessonlearned

hostertlady wrote: »

my mum( who is in a residential care home) tells me every time I go and see her that SHE is paying for this **it hole, from HER hard earned money, hardly mother! .( she was left some money when a relative died..)
my mum actually thinks that we ( her children) should be paying for her care as we are the ones that allegedly 'dumped' her there ( her words)
x

Oh dear, sounds like she is still giving you a hard time. Try not to let her guilt trip you, you've done your best.

margaretclare

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Obviously from a much more well-off family than me then.

That would be highly-amusing if it wasn't so wrong, wrong, wrong.

The poverty I grew up in was something not seen nowadays, but also, I was never conscious of deprivation because of everyone else's hard work. Illegitimate daughter of a domestic servant, lived at home with my grandparents and my aunt who was a polio survivor and sat on the floor for most of her life doing everything with her hands from there. The chance I was given was going to grammar school. Before the 1944 Education Act the probability for rural girls was domestic service. I'm the first of my family to escape that fate.

Alikay

Last year MIL was very ill and it looked like she may have to go into care. As she hasn't got much money and lives in a HA flat the cost would've been funded by the local authority. However, they would only fund up to a certain level, and many of the care homes in the area cost more than that so who would've plugged the gap? Yep, us and his sister and her husband.

Luckily she recovered to a significant degree and returned home from hospital with 4x daily home carers which was substantially cheaper and fully funded by council. It has made us aware, though, that the sort of care home that IS covered by the state may not be the kind of place we'd like our loved ones to live, and I suspect with an ageing population this'll only get worse.

Torry_Quine

margaretclare wrote: »

That would be highly-amusing if it wasn't so wrong, wrong, wrong.

The poverty I grew up in was something not seen nowadays, but also, I was never conscious of deprivation because of everyone else's hard work. Illegitimate daughter of a domestic servant, lived at home with my grandparents and my aunt who was a polio survivor and sat on the floor for most of her life doing everything with her hands from there. The chance I was given was going to grammar school. Before the 1944 Education Act the probability for rural girls was domestic service. I'm the first of my family to escape that fate.

As you managed to do things that were impossible for my family what other conclusion could there be. it's sad that you don't see that.

I will leave it here but had to answer the suggestion that my family was not an ordinary working family because we couldn't have afforded the luxuries yours could.

Late_To_Bed

This is probably a question which has been asked before, so apologies in advance..

Is there anything to stop me betting the value the my house against my son, who finishes higher in the Premier League this season.

I'll take Watford, he will take Chelsea.

I have a feeling the Hornets are going to have a great year

Doc_N

Late_To_Bed wrote: »

This is probably a question which has been asked before, so apologies in advance..

Is there anything to stop me betting the value the my house against my son, who finishes higher in the Premier League this season.

I'll take Watford, he will take Chelsea.

I have a feeling the Hornets are going to have a great year

Nice one. Nothing to stop you making the bet. But I'd love to see the potential deprivation of assets arguments in due course. :rotfl:

margaretclare

Torry_Quine wrote: »

As you managed to do things that were impossible for my family what other conclusion could there be. it's sad that you don't see that.

I will leave it here but had to answer the suggestion that my family was not an ordinary working family because we couldn't have afforded the luxuries yours could.

I have said nothing at all about your family.

The family I grew up in afforded nothing. No luxuries of any kind. They sacrificed a lot to allow me that extra year at grammar school, that was in the days when you were expected to leave school at 15 and start bringing money home. I was earning money from age 16 and the school trip was from a day-release college. I paid for it myself.

What we afforded after that, my first husband and me, was from our own efforts. Buying our first home, second hand cars, second hand furniture, all the things that have been said.

PennyForThem_2

nobody ever mentions this but council tenants can pass on their council house tenancy. Where is the fairness in this? Fine for spouses/partners - I agree.


Tenancies that started before 1 April 2012

You can inherit a relative's tenancy that started before 1 April 2012 if:

• the tenancy was your home at the time the tenant died
• you were living with tenant for at least 12 months before they died
• no-one else has a stronger claim to inherit the tenancy

It doesn't matter where you lived with your relative in the 12 months before they died. If you moved home, time spent living in another property counts.
Relatives who can inherit a council tenancy

You count as a relative of a council tenant who can inherit the tenancy of a council tenant who dies if you are their:

• parent or grandparent
• child or grandchild
• brother or sister
• uncle, aunt, nephew or niece

Step-relations, half-relations and in-laws are also included. You cannot inherit the tenancy if you are the foster child of the tenant who died.


http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/social_housing/transfers_and_exchanges/can_you_inherit_a_council_tenancy

Spendless

I'm guessing the older generation posting on here who went on foreign school trips predominately went to Grammar schools? I think that might have been more common, foreign trips. My Grandmother born 1924 pssed the 11+ and went to Grammar school and went on a school trip to France. She was fond of telling the story how the girls were all left to buy a present for their parents by speaking French and how they all bought a bar of black soap having remembered savon and noir and how much trouble they were all in afterwards.
Her parents certainly couldn't have afforded to go abroad as a family, my Great Grandfather was initially against her taking the place due to the cost of uniform and books, but my Great grandmother insisted and took a cleaning job to pay for the expenses.

My Grandmother is now in a nursing home since the beginning of the year. My Mum is just in the process of being awarded POA and later this year the flat will have to go up for sale. Though she hasn't said it so far, I can see her complaining in the same manner as someone else that she shouldn't have to pay as we have 'dumped' her there.

When my Mum was looking round for somewhere, the home she would really have liked Nan to go in wasn't affordable due to third party top up fees and my parents are already pensioners themselves.

missbiggles1

Torry_Quine wrote: »

As you managed to do things that were impossible for my family what other conclusion could there be. it's sad that you don't see that.

I will leave it here but had to answer the suggestion that my family was not an ordinary working family because we couldn't have afforded the luxuries yours could.

Like everything else, it all comes down to the choices people make.