The root of the problem

parsniphead

So after years of being a serial lurker, occational poster and joining the odd challenge I have decided that keeping a diary (never been one of my strong points) my help me to finally beat this horrible debt.

I'm not sure if anyone will read but a little about me anyway. I'm a 40 something and recently became a mum for the first time. I never thought this would happen as I had so much debt but a time came when I had to go ahead and start a family as by the time I get debt free it would be too late. It's really difficult moneywise but worth every bit of stuggle. I made the right decision.

I'm currently on maternity leave but will have to go back in February which will break my heart. It wasn't until The Grape arrived that I realised what a mess I had made with my stupid money decisions and to what effect it would have on my life. I would desperately love to stay at home with him but it's not to be.

We live frugally as a family and DH has offered to help but I got into this mess long before he arrived on the scene and it's my problem to sort out. One of my ideas was while on mat leave to get back into working for myself but time has whizzed by and as a first time mum I didn't realise what chaos was about to hit. I'm happy for any long term mums to have a good laugh at my stupidity.;) Life is starting to settle a little more now so the plan is still festering away except for one little problem.........Debt has completely destroyed all my confidence in myself. All my guts have gone. Has this happened to anyone else?

Anyway hopefully putting my thought into this diary will help me sort things in my head and help keep things on track.

That's enough of my waffle for now. Time for ironing.:)

Itsadogslife_2

Love the name :rotfl:

Look forward to hearing about your journey, do you feel brave enough to post your SOA so people might be able to make suggestions on savings.

parsniphead

Thanks Itsadogslife.

I did a SOA a while back under my previous guise and to be honest everything is now at the lowest it can be and I never renew without shopping around first.

This is very odd baring my soul to the world. It's going to take some getting used to.

lionheartedgirl

morning parsniphead (loving the name!),

your comment about debt making you lose confidence really rang a bell - it's definitely a millstone round my neck that stops me making bold decisions about my life as I always have to consider the financial implications first, never mind can I afford to live but can I afford to pay my debts back. my own fault as I got myself into the mess in the first place, but it does mess with your head doesn't it! :mad: I was always one for making big snap decisions and pulling things off, but not any more!

congratulations on the little one - I think you were posting on the matrix when he was due, I seem to remember you from a thread anyway.

I am so pleased that you are enjoying being a mum. I spoke to a girl I worked with years ago about having babies, she said to me if everyone waited until they could afford it, no one would ever have children :rotfl: which really made me think! Not much hope for me in the immediate future :rotfl: but it would be nice to have the choice if I meet someone nice in time

good luck with your journey, I am going to subscribe

parsniphead

Thanks lionheartedgirl.

You did see me on the matrix threads, but I just can't keep up with it. Blimey those girls can chat:eek:. I would catch up, go away for five minutes and there would be another 20 pages. I was constantly confused as to what was going on, who was doing what, etc.

I don't make new years resolutions as a rule but have decided this year to make one - just get my confidence back, but going to start now instead of new year.

I was always one for making big snap decisions and pulling things off, but not any more!

Same here. I would just change track in my life,career etc and not give it a second thought. I do miss the old reckless me.:rotfl:

I am so pleased that you are enjoying being a mum. I spoke to a girl I worked with years ago about having babies, she said to me if everyone waited until they could afford it, no one would ever have children :rotfl: which really made me think! Not much hope for me in the immediate future :rotfl: but it would be nice to have the choice if I meet someone nice in time

I wouldn't worry. I didn't meet my DH until a few weeks before my 38th birthday. Sorry I don't know how old you are and if this is years away I don't mean to depress you, I just mean you never know when they will pop up........does that sound rude, sorry:rotfl:

I have decided this afternoon to design a price list and get it printed off. I will do it, I will do it. Must be brave.

JustinCredibleGillespie

I'm gonna have to subscribe to this one, I think it will make very good reading

Congratulation on becoming a mum also

JCG

xx

parsniphead

Aww thanks JCG. Love the name by the way even though it took me a while to figure out.

A good day yesterday, if not a little unusual for me. Starting a diary, I never though that would happen. Anyway MSE seems to sprinkling it's magic fairy dust over me as I popped into work yesterday and was commisioned to make another prom dress:j. I had made one previously for her other daughter so it has given me a huge boost that she was happy with what I made. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist and tend to see flaws and imperfections in whatever I do even though to be honest there aren't really any. I do tend to give myself a hard time over things sometimes.:o

I have been thinking a lot during the night ( I usually lie awake worrying about money as I'm sure many folks on here do), but was thinking about all the positives.

The Grape and DH:happyhear
I don't have an overdraft :j
A roof over my head and a full belly ( a bit too full sometimes:o)
My health
An allotment
I got rid of Sc*ttish P*wer:j:T:j:rotfl::j:D

Have a good day all. Baby wants food. I'm off.

lionheartedgirl

they are some brilliant positives :j and it's great that you can see them and don't take them for granted

how exciting about the prom dress!

I know what you mean about the perfectionist business - I read/heard something a while ago, "sometimes Good Enough is Good Enough". It made me think really hard about how much I stress over little things unnecessarily sometimes. But then I wouldn't be me if I didn't :rotfl:

what a fab new years resolution :j

parsniphead

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

they are some brilliant positives :j and it's great that you can see them and don't take them for granted

how exciting about the prom dress!

I know what you mean about the perfectionist business - I read/heard something a while ago, "sometimes Good Enough is Good Enough". It made me think really hard about how much I stress over little things unnecessarily sometimes. But then I wouldn't be me if I didn't :rotfl:

what a fab new years resolution :j

Hmmmm that's a great saying but believing it can be difficult. Perhaps I should put it on the wall above the sewing machine. I wouldn't take any notice though.:rotfl:;)

I've neglected my diary for a couple of days - a very difficult weekend. Why oh why are there people in life who just don't know when to go away - but the less said about that the better.

I know it's so close to Christmas but I need to really do some work on starting on my small home business again. To be honest all I have to do is say "I'm self employed again". I have all the machines and equipment I need and the skills required, but just need to go out and find the business. If anyone is out there a kick up the bum would be appreciated.:rotfl:

A little work on the confidence is going ahead today. All my long ratty hair is being chopped. I haven't had a professional haircut since before I got married 2 years ago. Even then it was only a trim. So today I'm going for a complete image change.:eek: It's only hair, it will grow back if I don't like it. I really need to start looking after myself again. Lets face it if I carry on looking scruffy and unprofessional no one will take me seriously.

Wish me luck. Have a good day

boultdj

Hope you like the haircut, and nice to hear the baby is doing well.

Itsadogslife_2

A good old haircut is a great way to make yourself feel a bit better

So if you bend over and we can all give you a kick, when would you like to be able to start your business again?