feeling very down

Snaggles

Good night, try and have a good sleep xx

hic36

Hi there rinkydink, just wanted to send you big hugs too! I know what you mean about the weekends bit, I too have been feeling very low today, in fact reading this thread has bought tears to my eyes, was about to retire to bed but might stay around for a little while. I left my husband in October last year, (threw him out one saturday after the night before - put him on a train back to his parents) he is an alcholic and I also suffered a little DV but not on the same scale as yours. I too sit and think of the good times, and then I come back to earth with a bang and realise that I took him back once before(long story) and things went back to how they were so whats to stop him doing it again. I just keep thinking about my kids too, they are 8 and 3. Sure they have been affected by the break up but they are not now hearing constant arguments etc. and ex and I are at least civil when we see each other. Harder for my kids as there dad is 100 miles away - slightly easier on me though I think not having to face every day. I don't want to take over this thread I just wanted you to know that others are thinking about you - hope I haven't stepped out of line with this reply, if I have I apologise.
You must get an emergency appt with the CAB on monday, they will take care of your debts by sorting out your creditors for you. Make a list tomorrow of everything and take any statements or bills to help them priortise for you. Good luck in finding another job too, try the jobcentreplus team as they claim to want to help single parents, into finding employment.
Just remember you can find lots of support on here I think this is an ace site for info or for just sharing thoughts and making people feel that little bit better:)

hic36

Sos, was typing the above essay - while rinkydink was posting going to bed, never mind sure she'll read it 2mora

bookemdano

Hi rinkydink, I can imagine how hard it is for you but you have done the right thing. My Aunty was married to an alcholic and ended up as one herself, she is now dead because of it. Just think that one day you can look back on all of this and be proud of yourself. Take care of yourself and if you ever want a chat I'm on here most nights at some point.

rinkydink_2

Good morning !! feeling not to bad at the mo got to go and watch ds play sport all day so quite occupied and tomorrow is Monday so some kind of normality will kick in hopefully and i can start concentrating on finding a job again,

Hi hic 36 im sorry i just missed you last night i would have stayed up for a chat if id known, i will be around later if you get down again, im sure i will im up and down like a yo yo at the moment, the weekends are def the worst part im glad you know how im feeling on that one also glad to talk to some one that knows what living with a alcholic is like, speak soon x x x

Anastacia

Hey Rinkydink
Didnt log on yesterday so just read all your thread in one go. You seem to be doing pretty good already, well done. Just take one day at a time & dont look too far to the future at the moment. Between CAB & DFW you are in good hands. Good luck, you have already done the most difficult bit

lynzpower

hello darling
glad you are feeling better today.

I like, on low days to be "productive" moneysaving by doing the "fun stuff" posting on here, doing pigsbacvk clicks, catching up on surveys, listing on ebay ( ok thats not that fun LOL) or green metropolis, collecting vouchers for the supermarket into an envelope, batch cooking etc . its not that HARD grind of pure money, but will help you towards getting there.

In terms of the hard stuff, brace yourself for the fall out.

Social services should be able to help & guide you towards how to ensure you get money out of your EX, in terms of child maintainence. this is important.

Additionally, working or not you are entitled to child tax credits - call the helpline.

Also check whether you are entitled to any tax back, if you are in and out of work, chances are you will have overpaid, and this is one way of getting hold of some "easy" money

are you signed on as looking for work with Job seekers allowance?

have you applied for council tax benefit

have you told council tax you are single now and are entitled to single persons discount.

have you got any bank charges to come back to you ?

have you aplied for HB? I know you have a mortgage but after 9 months, you will be entitled to housing benefit will pay the interest only? Of course you can consider selling up and renting in which case your rent can be paid by HB? I know this is probably an overwhleming thought, something to mull over when you have more headspace. can you take a mortgage payment reak for a while till you get back on your feet?

I would speak to your creditors and explain whats happened, wil lthey accept a pound a month till you get back to work?

i know tihs post has been probably a bit overwhelming, but I hope that it gives you a bit of structure, a place to start from in your chaos.

And from me. Well done on deciding that a life without violence is one worth choosing. i hope your social worker is doing all they can to ensure you are protected, if not speak to the management, if you feel they are not doing what they should.

Lots of love & best wishes
Lynz
x

crawley_girl

Morning rinkydink

Going out to watch your son play sport sounds like a good idea. A blast of fresh air and some time around other people/ adults. Enjoy your day and good luck for monday

:heartpuls CG :heartpuls

rinkydink_2

Hi everybody, had a good day so im feeling good, i got a pile of ironing to do (thats if the elec doesnt go went on the emergency this morning ) not quite sure where im going to get the next tenner from i keep borrowing bits and pieces of of friends (not helping with the debt situation) and i got to find DS bus fares to school all week to another twenty quid thats with out any thing else. Iv so got to get a job. But im not going to get down today as tomorrow is Monday and ill be able to do much more practical things. Thanx again for all the support really really needed it yesterday and im sure i still do.
loads of love to you all

hic36

hi rinkydink, glad you are feeling a bit better today, just popped in to say hi before I put little one to bed, I cant seem to shake myself out of my low mood at the mo, probably cause I have had a chest infection and am feeling rough anyway. Tomorrow is another day and I do have a job to go to so in that respect i am lucky, just for some reason feeling very lonely at the moment, with a stroppy 8 year old and a tired 3 year old.