The New Me And Our Quest To Become Debt Free And Have Self Belief

dinkytwostep

Hello Weller
am well chuffed that your dad is able to help you out. He's a very caring man.
He also knows your mum's past (ie her family and what they were/are like) so is probably not surprised at how your mum is behaving now (remember he'll be much more wary of her comments after the letters). Take what your mum says with a pinch of salt. She & your dad have issues which maybe he's trying to sort out and she can't take it out on you when things aren't going her way. For all you know she may not have told him about you trying to get in contact before now so be more upfront with him about coming around to see Sam & the babe.
Enjoy the bike ride
DTS

moonlightpjs

Had a lovely, lovely afternoon with lots of laughter and fun - can't believe how warm it is!!!!
Sam hasn't managed to get off on his bike yet but he tried so hard, bless him, his legs just wouldn't work together but we'll try again and again till he manages and he'll feel much more confident. I really felt for him as he was watching the other children cycling around with a wistfull look on his face.
Mollie's trousers were pink when we went out but are now green:eek: she had so much fun crawling about on the grass and my knees are sore from crawling after her, how can babies move so fast?????????? I dread to think whats shes had in her mouth, she was picking everything up and trying to eat it, little madam

Got home to find a cheque posted through the letterbox from my dad for the mortgage so thats a weight off my mind, though .........wait for it..........also a note asking if we all wanted to go to their house for lunch tomorrow.......don't know what to do.... any ideas??????????

WiseOldBird_2

So happy to hear you had a good time. Days like these are the precious memories.

Re your dilemma - how about calling your dad to see what sort of 'mood' your mother's in? Hard for you when you know all the lies she's been telling about you. Do you think you can get through a lunch without (a) mother spitting bile, (b) Andy fighting back for you (c) dad getting upset (d) children wondering what's going on and becoming upset and confused.

Most importantly - what's YOUR gut feeling? I guess you want to thank your dad, and that's how you can show your appreciation, but what would be the cost (re your mum making trouble there?). That's why a phone call to your dad might help you make your mind up. It would be nice for the children and grandparents to see each other in a "supervised setting" where you know she won't/can't play with their minds.

No direct answer from me I'm afraid, but perhaps somethings for you to think about. Hope all goes well and sending hugs.

hypno06

Hi there, I am glad you had a fab day - we went to the park too, lovely to enjoy the sunshine and of course it is free!

As your dad has done you a Humungous favour by lending you the mortgage money, I would bite my tongue and go for lunch, for his sake, if not for anything else.

You may find it really difficult, but you may find it easier thn you expect.

How about having something "arranged" so that you have to leave at a certain time? then you can get away without making it awkward with excuses etc.

You never know, this could be just what you all need to start the journey back to being a "family".

I am sure that you will do the right thing, whichever way you go. After all, you know the situation so much better than we do.

Enjoy the weekend, and sleep easy, knowing that the mortgage will be paid x

ZTD

Smells to me like your Father wants to see you - possibly to find out a few things. Or maybe to tell you a few things - difficult to say.

I would guess that if your mother kicks off, both you dad and husband will be telling her to shut up, so there shouldn't be much trouble from that direction.

I am curious to know how you knew your father didn't want to speak to you, when he wasn't speaking to you - IYSWIM.

Snaggles

I think the idea of having to be 'somewhere else' at a set time after the meal is a good one - that way you can look at the clock and know you've only got, say, 45 minutes of biting your tongue left. Alternatively, if you really feel you can't face going, you could have a chat with your Dad and say it's a bit soon, but could you arrange something for a couple of weeks time. Or arrange to meet them somewhere instead of going to their house (ie take the kids to the park again and invite them along for a picnic)?

All the best, whatever you decide xxx

dinkytwostep

Hi Weller
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday and i think your Dad would love to see both Sam, Molly, yourself & Andy. If it were me I would go along. He needs to see you as much as you need to see him. I'm sure he worries about you and the children so it would do him good to see you're ok after the devastating news about Andy's job. It will also stop Sam wondering why you don't go to visit as often as you used to.
Your Dad may be trying to build bridges between you & your mum - try & meet him halfway.

Maybe you could invite them /your dad to the park afterwards with Sam & Molly - that way Sam could have another go at going solo... and you would have one very proud grandad (not to mention parents) to see that!!;)

Relax and enjoy the time you have with them. I reckon your mum will be on her best behaviour & neither will want to talk about serious matters when the children are there.

Dumyat

well I suppose it was nice of him to ask...making the first move as it were.
what does Andy think? How do you feel about going?

Why don't you phone him back to thank him for the cheque and test the waters as it were. it may be with the kids there she wont cause trouble. but if it doesn't feel right could you "invent" a prior engagement? like snaggles says, arrange another day on your terms maybe somewhere neutral.

glad you had such a nice day out. kids remember those kind of days - and it doesnt cost anything.

moonlightpjs

ZTD wrote: »

I am curious to know how you knew your father didn't want to speak to you, when he wasn't speaking to you - IYSWIM.

My Mum told Andy every time he phoned - he made the calls in case my Mum answered (as I didn't want to speak to her) intending to pass the phone to me when Dad was on the other end - hmm, actually just read that back and think I'm smelling something fishy.................

moonlightpjs

I'm going to phone my dad now and find out whats been going on - I feel anger inside me