The New Me And Our Quest To Become Debt Free And Have Self Belief

jennynoo

Poor Weller, life seems to be throwing a lot at you at the moment but you seem to be keeping it all together, well done!

I hope Molly is better soon.

love to you and your family :heart2:

Dumyat

my goodness whatever next!
what a time you've had recently. you take care. hope molly is getting better.

was starting to worry when you hadnt posted, but no wonder. you had much more important things than here to think about.

x x x

moonlightpjs

Can't believe it - paid Next off - £520 through Andys overtime and saving and not buying those stupid boots :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Our self admin DMP seems to be going ok, still get letters but not near as many as before and whilst every creditor is getting a minimum payment we are saving up to pay each debt off once at a time so Next - gone, goodbye and thanks goodness

Paid Dads cheque in on Thursday and that will pay another debt off - this time Capital One but feel a bit guilty as its Dads money even though we (or should I say I???) gave Mum money but Dad assured us it was fine and wanted us to cash it.

Feel really chuffed and am beginning to see this as an acheivement - only a small one maybe considering the amount of debt we are in but an acheievment nonetheless.

Still a long way to go so you won't be rid of me that easily but its a start.

elantan

things are deff looking up for you weller..i'm glad mollies better just read that bit and started to panic till i got to the bit that she's ok..i was wondering where you had got to (or maybe it was me that got lost ...most probably that was what happend) brilliant new on the next front and capital one soon to follow it feels great dont it getting in control again ...keep up the great work...all the best to your family

Beth86

weller711 wrote:

Hi all, just need to write this down as my heart is well and truly broken and I feel that I am just failing my children. As most of you will know we are in a lot of debt and are doing a self admin DMP, everything seems to be going ok so far and hubby is working lots of overtime to help reduce debts.

We have a 7 year old son and an 8 month old daughter. My son couldn't speak until he was approx 5 and still has trouble sometimes, ie: stuttering when hes tired or upset. He has improved really, really well and tries so hard and I am so proud of him, he has made friends at school and is coming on in leaps and buounds and is a very loving, caring, kind and clever boy - the apple of my eye.

This morning, hubby at work and my son comes into our bedroom and asks if can get into bed with me for a cudlle, of course I say and in he jumps. I love moments like this when I can devote time to him as with new baby its quite hard (baby asleep in her room). The conversation goes like this:-

Sam - Mummy do you love me?
Me - Yes sweetie, more than all the clouds in the sky
Sam - Are you upset Mummy
Me - No, why darling?
Sam - You know when you thought I had gone to bed the other night, well I came downstairs for a drink of milk and heard you and Daddy talking (kitchen on floor higher than living room)
Me- Did you darling, well you should have been in bed? (laughing)
Sam - You were upset Mummy because you said you couldn't afford things and I don't like it when you get upset.
Me - Well, we couldn't afford for Mummy to get some new boots - I was only a bit upset but Mummy has other boots.
Sam - Well, I;ve been thinking and I think I should go live with Grandma and Pa then you can afford the new boots
Me - (horrified) I am not bothered about the boots sweetie, I love you and want you to stay here with me
Sam - But you can't afford me Mummy cos I need new clothes and food and toys and things so if I go live with Grandma and Pa you won't need to afford me and then you'll be happy and wont cry anymore
Me- (tears rolling down my cheeks, heart literally broken) But I only want you, you Samuel make me happy, happier than anything else and I don't want you to go, I don't wnat anything else other than you, mollie and daddy

sorry, can't type anymore - i've ruined my childs life and what kind of Mummy am I. I'm no use to him, maybe he'd be better off with my mum and dad as I'm obvioulsy destroying him. I feel like a piece of me has been ripped out

I just read this and it made me cry - my son isn't old enough to say things like this yet.

Hun, you must be an absolutely fabulous Mummy to have such a caring little boy.
I often think 'Will Garreth have a better life with my parents who can afford to give him nice things?' But then I sit down and think, the best thing a child can have is his/hers Mummy and Daddy.
And your little boy is so selfless by saying that and you should be so proud of him.

seven-day-weekend

weller711 wrote:

Hi everyone

Well its all done and dusted - long conversations, lots of tears, lots of apologies, lots of anger - well, lots of everything. My Dad is disgusted with my Mum, my Mum says she is disgusted withe herself (?) and she is very sorry. My Dad has written me a cheque out for all the money I gave Mum though am still in two minds wether to cash it or not - he says we need the money with 2 children and he will get it back off my Mum. He can't believe shes done what she has - he says he doesnt know her anymore. She said she jealous of me, being happy with my hubby and children but she admits it got out of control - she thought that be contacting SS I would give in to her wishes and not keep the children from her. Her debt didn't come out but I told her as I left that she has to tell him and neither did the "other" things - just what she had done and said to me.

She knew when we walked in the door what was going to happen and especially when Dad asked where the kids were. Andy had to say most of it as I couldn't bring myself to talk, I was afraid that we could somehow ruin their marriage and after 37 years together that would be hard for me to do but Dad was angry and played holy hell with my mum and couldn't even understand why she would contact SS when my children were obviously not abused in anyway or neglected but only cared for and loved beyound belief. he said they had better jobs to do helping children who really needed serious help, not our children. She said it was out of desperation as I had finally stood up to her but Dad said I should have done it sooner. He knew to some extent the way my mum controlled me but obvioulsy not as much as she did. He says she is just like her mother.

I Think this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

We took copies of all the e-mails and letters and Dad was crying when he read them.

I can't write anymore as I feel utterly drained but Mum and Dad were speaking when we left and when Dad showed us out he came to the car and told me not to worry aboout them - they would sort themselves out.

So thats all for tonight, see you all again tomorrow

They WILL sort themselves out you know......they've been married a mighty long time.

Dumyat

well done weller. any store card is a good one to get paid off!! their interest rates are horrendous.
glad you cashed your dad's cheque. I'm sure it will make him feel better to have helped you.

you sound so positive. I am so pleased for you x x x

nu1isit?

Hello weller!

Was wondering where you had gone, and if everything was still okay. Glad to see that it is, and that things are also on the way up for you and your family...Congratulations! :beer:

chickadee

Hi Weller,

I haven't posted on this thread before although I have read it regularly, just to see how you are getting on. It has been a roller-coaster rider for you and it must feel so good for you now to have less to worry about. Secrets take up space in your head as you think about them so I'm glad everything is out in the open. You sound like a very strong family, and what a lovely sensitive boy you have! Glad to hear your daughter is better too. Well done!

chickadee
x

moonlightpjs

Capital One now paid off thanks to the money from my Dad :j - called them today and made the payment and asked to close the account and they said we can't close it until after you've received your next statement as there will be interest still to be paid????!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, hopefully its not a lot so will done and dusted within a couple of weeks. They even offered to increase my credit limit - with an APR of 29.9% I don't think so. Now its just the big ones left but we are doing a self admin DMp and its going ok. Just tryng to keep saving so we can pay another one off.

Have not yet spoken to my Mum though she has sent a long letter - a nice one this time - apologising for all she has done, trying to explain why etc and saying she is missing the kids so much. I know Sam is missing her - he keeps asking why he can't see her and I just say that Mummy and Grandma have fallen out but he will see her soon. I feel so mean but am just not ready to see her. Have thought about askng Dad to come and pick Sam up to take him to see her but to be honest I'm scared about it - cant really tell you the reason why as I dont know myself - its just a feeling Just don't know what to do for the best. I know I should just put my feelings aside for the sake of my son - buts its hard. Anything else and I wouldn't hesitate - its just this. Its her birthday tomorrow and i have ordered some flowers for her from the kids but haven't bought her anything - mean again I know.

Apart from that I am feeling fine, well quite good really and happy and everybody is ok. Sam is as funny and loving as ever though he flooded the bathroom this week messing with the toilet :eek: though he says it wasn't him - it was the "naughty boys from outer space" (they have been around for a couple of years now but we haven't seen much of them lately ) - thank goodness for insurance!!! Mollie is fully recovered (thank god) and is now standing up at the furniture and gabbling away - its so funny - I forgot all this cos its over 7 years ago since I had Sam and I can't remember much as I had PND - so its a joy to listen to her and I am convinced she actually says certain words but hubby says I am imagining things :rotfl: I love my little family - even the "naughty boys from outer space":D

Hope everybody else is ok, sorry for rambling on, will leave you in peace now xx