Time to Take Control

Igamogam

8 people off with stress related issues.............:eek: Where is your staff safeguarding and well being policy? If you feel you cant bring the big guns in begin with Occ health and union. OK I am doing what I said I wouldnt but seriously I have been in a similar position and the only way to deal with this sort of thing is to take stock ( rest up) get some help, advice and support behind you and build your resilience up ( and in my line of work 'being resilient' is written in the job description:eek:) then tackle it - your head needs to know that their expectations are unrealistic and stress and low morale can be very insidious. If there are others who feel like you then tackle it as a group....you dont have to go it alone.

wannabee_in_credit

Thanks so much all of you for just being there and letting me rant. Weekend was fine, but I really wasn't very good yesterday.
Alarm went off as usual at 6 and I felt even less like getting out of bed than usual, but still had school and nursery runs to do and am determined the kids are going to have life as normal as possible. So I got dressed, took the kids to nursery and school (dd is in the primary attached to where I work) then went to my mum's for a bit of tlc.
She says I'm not my usual self - I'm constantly bursting into tears and have lost a lot of my compassion and understanding for other people. Anyway, she fed me, and I came home to find that hubby had done the housework and was planning evening dinner. I drove to pick up dd from school and to take my sicknote and some books I'd brought home, but when I got there I couldn't go in. I had to ring someone to come and meet me. Feel silly now...
Then got home to dinner made, then went to Morrisons where I got LOADS of yellow sticker food to go in the freezer. Ate far too much of the wrong sort of food (so much for the Cambridge diet) and went to bed at 9pm feeling dreadful.
I've woken up this morning feeling a little brighter - sun is shining. I'm showered and dressed, and am planning to see my mum again this morning once I've done the school run. She's making me go out for a walk with her - keeping me busy. I know that she's my mum and worried about me, but I have insisted that I won't stop and fall into a useless heap as my hubby has done. Because I love my kids too much, I just need to recharge my batteries.
I'm wondering about the union. Wondering if the Head would consider me incompetent at my job because I can't keep up with the level of work that they seem to expect me to. Time to seriously make plans to move on I think.
Have a good day anyone who reads this. I'm determined to have a better day today.:beer::cool:

Mara_uk7

"Wondering if the Head would consider me incompetent at my job because I can't keep up with the level of work that they seem to expect me to. Time to seriously make plans to move on I think.
Have a good day anyone who reads this. I'm determined to have a better day today."

Speaking as someone who has been employed and an employer, If I had the number off staff off on stress related issues as your workplace, Id be seriously asking myself what was wrong in the workplace to be causing this.
If youre incompetent, then so are the other 7 people who are off. Are you friendly enough with any of them to see if theres any way you could present a united front to your union ? They will take things a little more seriously if they are approached by a group of employees with basically the same situation.

Hope your day improves, and taking the time away from work lets you have time & space to get everything straight in your mind. Take care of you , ok

short_bird

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Speaking as someone who has been employed and an employer, If I had the number off staff off on stress related issues as your workplace, Id be seriously asking myself what was wrong in the workplace to be causing this.

You might, but a lot of employers don't ask those sorts of questions in any field. The number of teachers that leave teaching due to the actions of their management was in the news last week.

It would be interesting to find out if other staff have left the school, or left teaching, or gone part time and add that to those off with stress. I hear a similar story from a friend in teaching where an entire department has left, retired or in the process of moving on due to the appointment of a new head of department.

mandz1

sorry to her you have been having a bad time recently W_I_C.
I don't know anything about teaching so cant really comment, but I hope it does get better for you.

Nice to see hubby is helping you more and that your mum is around to help you aswell (mums are the best aren't they?)

wannabee_in_credit

Hubby's come home in a heck of a mood. I hope this is not him about to fall into a useless heap because he hates his job. I just don't really feel like I could manage that at the moment. It does chew me off that I'm not allowed to be ill and for him to just get on and do his job for a couple of weeks.
There have been a couple of union issues with the Head over the past couple of years. The main issue is that they Head says all the right things to make you think that they are a wonderfully caring human being and then you can't match the things that are said with the things that are done. People have tried to fight before, and have always lost....

Igamogam

Err who said you are not allowed to be ill? We all stumble at some point.

Please read the rest as positive and not a criticism

Husband 'a useless heap' - err he has been diagnosed with a mental illness? maybe you need some support in how to deal with his illness - community mental health team?

Keeping busy is good. Going for walks is good. Keeping routines is good. Talking with mum is good. But so is talking to someone not emotionally attached. I would be the first to put my hand up and say 'I can deal with this. I am strong.Nothing beats me'. But I gave a session of counselling a go ( to do with my job) and I was seriously impressed how is stopped me wallowing in what was fast becoming a 'woe is me' situation and wallowing in my own self pity.

Maybe those who have fought before have gone about it in the wrong way.........your LEA and school should have some sort of health and well being policy - now is the time to read it - if they havent you should be asking why. Your union should work for you. Its up to you to instruct them as to what you want/need and if they are not coming up with goods tell them and move to another one - you pay the subs to get the support!!

brizzledfw

Igamogam wrote: »

Err who said you are not allowed to be ill? We all stumble at some point.

Please read the rest as positive and not a criticism

Husband 'a useless heap' - err he has been diagnosed with a mental illness? maybe you need some support in how to deal with his illness - community mental health team?

Keeping busy is good. Going for walks is good. Keeping routines is good. Talking with mum is good. But so is talking to someone not emotionally attached. I would be the first to put my hand up and say 'I can deal with this. I am strong.Nothing beats me'. But I gave a session of counselling a go ( to do with my job) and I was seriously impressed how is stopped me wallowing in what was fast becoming a 'woe is me' situation and wallowing in my own self pity.

Maybe those who have fought before have gone about it in the wrong way.........your LEA and school should have some sort of health and well being policy - now is the time to read it - if they havent you should be asking why. Your union should work for you. Its up to you to instruct them as to what you want/need and if they are not coming up with goods tell them and move to another one - you pay the subs to get the support!!

Seconded.

If you want to PM me please do. But think you need to give yourself time to think...and maybe time to move on, if that's what you want. Either way you need a break in order to think. X

wannabee_in_credit

Thanks again both of you...
I'm so relieved that hubby went to work this morning. He was still in a foul mood but he's gone
Igamogam he suffers terribly with anxiety and depression. He's had over a year off work in the past 5 years. He has had treatment and is on medication long term - but he and I deal with things in very different ways. He disappears and hides/refuses to get out of bed etc, whereas I talk lots and try and keep busy, keep the kids going etc. He has been hospitalised a couple of times (about 5 years ago when it all started), but I am terrified of going back to that situation.
It's just been the case that I've always had to be the strong one - holding things together. I genuinely don't think he knows how to deal with me at the moment because I'm not myself, but I'm still doing all the day to day stuff.
I'm slowly accepting that I can't help him if he doesn't help himself, and that a small step for me is a huge step for him. And going to work will have been a huge step.
Not sure what to do today... I'd best get my thinking cap on. I have a couple of Lovefilm DVD's...

wannabee_in_credit

Argh!
Our little black cat just came into the kitchen, proud as you like, with a bird in her mouth. I was just getting kitchen roll to put it in the bin, when she put it down and it was still alive, and tried to fly away...
She caught it again really quickly and I tried to get her to drop it, which she did - then our ginger cat went after it and caught it. Then the poor thing escaped and flew for the window, which was closed and it was promptly caught again. You should have seen my trying to hold 2 cats off it.
I eventually caught it in a shoe box - poor thing was terrified, but seemingly unharmed, in spite of being caught by 2 cats on at least 5 occasions. Took it to the garden and opened the lid and it flew straight away.
My good deed for the day - although the cats are in a huff with me.