you know when all you lovely people give advice...

Seaxwyn

Hi posting

My driving instructor told me to wear jangly earrings so the tester could hear every time I looked at the mirror

Snaggles

I know it's only a little thing, but with regard to not checking your mirrors - I used to get told off for this too, and used to feel really hard done by, because I KNEW I was checking my mirrors. So I got into the habit of moving my head slightly when I check them (rather than just moving my eyes) - that way your driving instructor/examiner can see that you ARE checking your mirrors (otherwise, unless they're gazing into your eyes when you do it, it's difficult for them to tell).

You are blaming yourself 100% for what has happened, but to be honest, I think it's pretty bad that your driving instructor would let you get into a situation where you nearly run someone over or get a speeding ticket. So don't be too hard on yourself. And if his negative comments are destroying your confidence, take a deep breath and tell him so. You're paying him a lot of money remember, not the other way round.

ZTD

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

thanks all i still think it will be easier to give up...

It's *always* easier to give up. But you shouldn't.

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

i am pushing 80 lessons now and whats the point if when i then come to drive a car i wont know where to start

You will know where to start, but there is a lot of learning ahead. You can never stop learning. A good "plateau" is when you're following someone and a feeling in your "water" says "This bloke is an idiot." so you stay well back.

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

ztd it was a crossing, i knew it was there (its on my way home) but there was a bus on the busstop before it so i was trying to deal with that then wham bam crossing and the man just walked straight out... missed by inches

He needs to be more careful - from the highway code.

19: Zebra crossings. Give traffic plenty of time to see you and to stop before you start to cross. Vehicles will need more time when the road is slippery. Remember that traffic does not have to stop until someone has moved onto the crossing. Wait until traffic has stopped from both directions or the road is clear before crossing. Keep looking both ways, and listening, in case a driver or rider has not seen you and attempts to overtake a vehicle that has stopped.

That's happened so many times before, it's actually written in the Highway Code...

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

fac yes i will get tehre but when in another 80? lessons another 3k? another life nearly taken?

You're going to have to accept that you will have several good goes at running people down during your driving career. I went to a farm a couple of months ago. Very free range animals there - a goose was waddling up the road, saw me, and scuttled for the side. A bloke, dragged his kid right into the middle of the road in front of me.

Road? Car?



Less clever than the average goose...

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

is this what my life is about? proving people wrong who think i am useless and stupid? why?!

It's a lot better than proving them right. Go and have a cup of tea and take a deep breath. Things will seem better.

daphne_descends

I can only say 'hear hear' to the few posts above - but no one can blame you for feeling like this now and then, you are only human. For 80 lessons you haven't quit, how many people can say they'd stick at it with such determination? Don't be so hard on yourself, please - I know this is coming from a total stranger to these boards but really give yourself a break - repeat what CAFCgirl said, I am good. I like that. It's true of everyone - so say it!

Purpleroses

hi pap
i changed driving instructors 4 times before finally finding one who was good! if you dont feel comfortable going at a faster speed then tell ur instructor to shut up cos your the one whos in control of the car and you feeling safe and happy is whats important!
the best bit of advice i was told whilst learning was to take it from corner to corner its all you can do really! deep breaths and you'll do it! oh and on tests look in the mirror a lot! i have faith in you! keep at it x x

tesuhoha

Pap, you are up and down like a yoyo. :think: You are no worse than any other learner driver Pap. Driving does not come automatically when you are only having one lesson a week and what you are learning is road sense. You had those near misses today and it was an experience you will remember next time. Next time you see a bus parked on a crossing you will slow down and look very carefully to see if anyone is coming out from in front of it. Next time you see a dodgy old lady driving a car on a roundabout you will stay well clear of her. That is road sense; you learn from your mistakes and your instructor is helping you in that way. Using mirrors all the time is a load of rubbish but you need them to see you using them. When you pass your test its important to know where the brake is and also important to check that nothing is coming when you move off, when you are pulling out of a junction etc. You will use the mirrors when you need to. Another thing is, when you are learning to drive you assume that everything that goes wrong is your fault, but its not. I know, because Im still like that. If someone cuts me up I always assume Im the one at fault at the time and think about it afterwards. Driving does become, if not easy, then relatively simple.

findingmyownway

I agree with Tes - most learner drivers have similar problems. You learn from situations you face and hopefully become a better driver - but that takes years, not just a series of 1 hour lessons.

You are so hard on yourself over so many issues and i'm at a loss to see why.

I didnt realise you had a qualification equivalent to maths GSCE - so nothing is holding you back from applying for faaaar better jobs than the one you seem to be in. At 21 you have your whole life ahead of you - get applying for those secretarial / legal jobs - you have all the relevent qualifications as far as i can see.

I'm not sure the gcse is going to be a magic solution to suddenly make you feel confident enough to apply for better jobs. It seems it just may cost you £££ and more importantly time - time where you could be in a new job doing all the things you want to do with your life, rather than stuck at home in the same job you hate, waiting for your gcse exam to come around.

On another note, aren't the GCSE exams soon? Rather than wait until sept why don't you see if you can get entered for the exam this year, get the course sylabuss, buy a Letts (or similar) quide and teach yourself over the next couple of months??? I am sure they'd be plenty of people on here willing to help if you struggled with anything.

kathfisch

Pap. I'm sorry you're feeling down about your driving, just trust me that it happens to all of us! Today I drove into bristol and there were lots of silly drivers and I'm sure I did something wrong at some point but you know what the difference is? I didn't have someone sitting next to me pointing out every little thing, I just say to myself 'ooh, I shouldn't have done that' and on I go! And I've been driving nearly 6 years :rotfl: :eek:

When I got in the car to drive to my test my instructor said 'now is the time to make mistakes, get them out of your system and forget about them' and the same applies to your lessons - they're for learning and any mistakes you make don't matter in the long term.

Try and focus on how good it'll feel to pass

x

postingalwaysposting

tesuhoha wrote: »

Pap, you are up and down like a yoyo. :think:

findingmyownway wrote: »

You are so hard on yourself over so many issues and i'm at a loss to see why.

I didnt realise you had a qualification equivalent to maths GSCE - so nothing is holding you back from applying for faaaar better jobs than the one you seem to be in. At 21 you have your whole life ahead of you - get applying for those secretarial / legal jobs - you have all the relevent qualifications as far as i can see.

It seems it just may cost you £££ and more importantly time - time where you could be in a new job doing all the things you want to do with your life, rather than stuck at home in the same job you hate, waiting for your gcse exam to come around.

sorry all i had to get away for a while...

tes i am on new medication for pco and i think its a load of rubbish myself, well i have dug out the info sheet and one of the things you can have it is lack of b12 which makes you have depression/anemia etc etc... and i feel like i constantly have pmt and its doing my head in... my brains working overtime lately and i cant get away from anything/anyone even sleep dont work

findingmyownway i am not hard on myself i was just brought up and taught to be like this, sad but true i am a worrier i have (i belive) a form of ocd and i worry that my shoes arnt straight downstairs, this is how i am though... i was taught this way... a simple example is i work 10:30 tom i will be on the bus at 8:30 this makes work more tiresome than ever

yes i did realise this but again i have to prove that i can do it... this requires getting a gcse, when i was taking the key skill i was told by a lecturer that i was thick and i didnt know any maths... everyplace in my life i am slammed in the face by negative people this then forces negative thoughts and feeling that i cant get rid of ever... i have no memmorys of being happy when i was younger in school only all the bad times, it seems as though my brain is programme into bad thought

i want a better job i really do, but everywhere i go and get rejected this forces more and more bad feelings into my head that then make it more and more harder to get a job... hence why i might as well not bother... i hate going out of the house some days for fear of how poeple react to me in the street sometimes its not worth the bother... i think i had these two weeks off and got used to not being looked at in this way and now facing it i cant do it...

CAFCGirl

you know what hun if I saw you on the street

is what would happen...

I have nothing but love and admiration for you.

You are a truly beautiful person, inside and out.
Anyone who you have ever met in your life and told you anything other than that is not worth your tears, your worries or your time.

I know it may seem easy for people to post and tell you how you should feel, what you should do and what you should say.

Your life is a rainbow. There will be dark days and days filled with colour. Sometimes (as annoying as it is) we don't have any control over what colour the day is. Sometimes we do. Paint your life whichever colour you want it.

As for the physical elements, I believe there are things that you can try. If it doesnt work you've lost nothing, but if it does all well and good. Look into ways to increase your B12 levels.
Do you think your medication is rubbish or your condition?
On a thread I posted a while back someone told me I was wallowing, I didnt have depression. At that time I felt rocked, to my core, and blamed myself for how I felt...

And then, I literally put that post back up on my screen and seriously gave it THE FINGER!
And shouted out loud, "Scr&w You". That person doesnt know me, and if people in life can be that narrow minded, rude and insensitive, then quite frankly I'm glad I dont engage with too many people :rotfl:

Negative people are negative to you, or I or anyone else they meet because they are simply trying to deflect their own insecurities onto someone else. By making you carry that, they're lighting and living care-free while you cope with the sress and worry.

Next time you see someone look at you strangely, say No. Literally in your head and say "No, I wont take your bulls%£t, with me, you can keep it, for I am a better person than you will ever know"

And that's not just some cheesy ol self help line. Thats the gods honest truth.

I wish I could show you that the world you've met so far is simply the dark side of the rainbow..... People love you, god damn it PAP I love you! :iloveyou:

To borrow a little sermon from a well known and well loved film

Tell me what you see

I'll tell you what I see

I see Pride
I see Power

I see a bad a$$ mother ......... who wont take no cr&p from nobody

COOL RUNNINGS TM :T